Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Polling America

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Recent polling results for the question "Are dead baby jokes funny?" 74% Yes, totally funny. 19% No, I don't really have a...
Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Ode to Spork

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Country bumpkin had some ham, then he had some pork. Washed it down with juice of clam and ate it with a spork.
Monday, January 14, 2013

Play Shitball at Work, Improve Morale

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Here's the game: read a newspaper article while taking a shit crumple it up toss it over the stall wall If it lands in the sink t...
Monday, January 07, 2013

Are my New Year's resolutions at odds?

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Come to think of it, neither of my New Year's resolutions is too difficult, but doing them at the same time might be. --Lost 15 lbs. by...
Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Undisclosed Really IS the Best

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It's pretty much unanimous. While revising my layout here I check all my links, and all the old blogs are either eliminated or have not ...
Monday, December 03, 2012

Liter O' Kefir Lunch

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Liter is French for give me some fuckin' kefir! I've been pounding liters of kefir for my lunch for the past week or so as part of...
2 comments:
Thursday, November 22, 2012

Vegetarianism One Month at a Time

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I missed Thanksgiving this year, so here's the post from last year I've been sitting on forever. Thanksgiving: sixteen pounds of t...
Monday, November 19, 2012

Mitt Romney's anal whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat now?

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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Sweet Sweet Negotiations

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There's not another asexual thing in this world that gives me a bigger boner than winning negotiations. It's not just the money--it...

How do I make my own gin?

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The top few hits when you put that question to google are websites that explain how to make gin flavored vodka. What the fuck? What the fuck...
Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Big Ass Hamburger

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I don't suppose I'd ask for more than a half pound of meat to make myself a burger, but because in Lithuania we speak in metric—the ...
Tuesday, November 13, 2012

What's the point of soft-core porno?

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You can't get the fastest Internet in Lithuania without getting cable TV. That's just the stupid way it works. On the bright side, I...
Saturday, November 10, 2012

Internet Service Provider Boasts Piracy

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We got faster Internet now, 300 Mbps. While the guy was installing the new cable, he said "Oh yeah, this is fast. The first night I had...
Thursday, November 08, 2012

Have Diarrhea, Will Travel

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Or, ‎"From each according to his ability to give a shit" Or, ‎"Dos and Don'ts of a Trip to China" Don't dr...
Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Exercise Time

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I was all set to go to the gym and get a membership when within two days I got requests from two different people for private English lesson...

Fat Bus Bitch

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You ever sitting on a bus and a fat bitch sits down next to you? And it pushes you half way out of your seat cause she's so fat? Goddamn...
Monday, September 24, 2012

Shitty Waitress

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Walked into a Gusto Blyninė today and noticed a sign for Žemaičių blynai. When I asked how are they, she didn't know. When I asked how m...
Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Rubber Ducky

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There once was a rubber ducky, With a johnson so long he could sucky; He stumbled along till he fell on his dong And then he no longer fe...
Thursday, September 13, 2012

I have to take a piss

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That's just one of the many interesting tidbits I used to be able to write into facebook. Alas, although I've managed to keep my ext...
Monday, September 10, 2012

No Calls, Please

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I had an off site meeting on Friday. I got a call that there were some mistakes in my paper work, so student visa documents couldn't be ...
Thursday, August 30, 2012

Beans, beans!

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God, had some chili for breakfast, was that ever a mistake. Beans are meant for dinner, so you can spend the night farting instead of the da...
Friday, August 24, 2012

Castratiophobia

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What if a deaf guy was taking a piss in some hedges, and the guy trimming the hedges was blind, so he didn't see the guy, and the deaf g...
Monday, August 20, 2012

Blackberry? More like...Sack's Hairy!

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Whatever, only one word actually rhymes with blackberry , and it isn't funny. The secretary walked around with a bowl of fresh picked ...

Nude Beach

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I did not make it to the nude beach this summer. But when you spend half of every day nude, it's not that big a deal, is it? I sleep nud...
Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Fart Harmony

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There're repairs going on around the office including new radiators, all the old pipes are being changed. I went to take a dump today, a...
Monday, August 13, 2012

Lonely Weekend

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I chart my weight. It goes in a wave, gradually downward, but it does go up every weekend due to drinking, mostly, and the drunk munchies th...
Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Ten Month Hiatus

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You could call my absence for the past ten months a hiatus. But because I changed the name of the blog and its address, maybe you should cal...
Friday, January 20, 2012

Kill the pig. Cut her throat. Bash her in.

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Actually May 20, 2010: When the Pig Man called last month to ask us if we want half a pig delivered on the day the pig delivery boy come b...
Thursday, October 27, 2011

Article of the Day

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Global Warming -- RIP , by Victor Davis Hanson, is a good article. His last paragraph sums up my position precicly: "We simply don'...
Friday, October 21, 2011

Won't anybody please think of the children?

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MA1T1N1MA5 VA1KAM5 is a great charity that feeds children.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Article of the Day

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Red, White and Angry
: Communist, Nazi parties endorse ‘Occupy’ protests, By David Martosko The protests have been endorsed by the Communist...
Thursday, June 23, 2011

Article of the Day

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Obama vs. ATMs: Why Technology Doesn't Destroy Jobs , Doing more with less is what economic growth is all about , by RUSSELL ROBERTS, is...
Sunday, June 19, 2011

Riese Mimosa

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One part white wine One part 7 Up One part red cabbage juice
2 comments: