Joke of the Month

Sitting around playing the English-Lithuanian version of Lexico this weekend with Egle and Ed. It's a good game, lot's of funny words and expressiuons come up, which prompted Ed to say "Pirštas be nago, du cibuliai kabo: kas aš esu?" ("Finger, no nail, two onions hanging: what am I?")

First some funny guesses avoiding the obvious answer: I said it was an elephant's trunk, and Egle said it was banana with onions attached, I think. Then I came up with my own joke: "Keturi pirštai be nago, du cibuliai kabo: kas aš esu?"("Four fingers, no nail, two onions hanging: what am I?")

Ed guessed, Calamari Starfish! but that wasn't the answer. No more guesses? Anybody else want to guess? Scroll down for the answer.


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Keturi pirštai be nago, du cibuliai kabo: kas aš esu? Dr. Zoidberg!

Phony Backgammon

I'm tired of my stupid phony backgammon! On the way to work I read for 35 minutes on the bus, but on the way home I'm too tired, so usually I play backgammon on my phone. It's a total crock though. Whatever the most dramatic thing that could ever happen is happens 92% of the time, which is 8.5 times more than is statistically probably. Whenever I think, "oh, if i got double fours now I could cinch this thing," I get double fours. Whenever I think "I'll totally win this as long as he doesn't get a 2 and a 5," that's exactly what he gets. Over and over again, I count on it! I'm afraid it's training me to play too conservatively. What a pain in the ass.

Oh, now I get it!

I went out the the trolley stop after my Legal English class today. I thought, "I just missed my trolley, how could I forget that I only have five minutes? Oh well, I've got 17 minutes till the next one, I'll see if I can find a kibinas."

That's because I only had a banana and orange for lunch, but I was pretty hungry. I just wanted to be moving around really, also, because it's so cold. I crossed one street and then I saw a promising place, and then another street to get to it: Greek Kebabs. There was a sign in the window for kebabs in a pita for five lits, which is only double what I expected to pay for a kibinas. Good deal!

As they made me my kebab I still had eight minutes left to make the three minute walk to the bus stop. However, shockingly, I saw my trolley roll right by. I thought, "Can this possibly be an eight minute long red light?!" Alas no, either the last trolly was ten minutes late, or the next one was seven minutes early. Shit!

I walked back to the bus stop with my kebab, and saw that the next trolley was in 17 more minutes. At least I could eat in peace (it's probably illegal to eat kebabs on the trolley). Soon after I finished my kebab, which was a pretty good one, incidentally, the trolley came...ten minutes early! "Wow," I thought, "maybe somethings blocking traffic between here and the beginning of the route or something."

When I got to work I checked the trolley schedule online to see if it had changed or something. Furthermore, according to my google calendar, the times I expected the trolley match neither the schedule posted at the stop nor what I have noted in my planner. Then I realized: I was looking at 12 o'clock times instead of 1 o'clock times. Oops.

Article of the Day

The Off-Center President--Obama says he'd settle for a single term—and seems to mean it, by Peggy Noonan

This was a pretty good one, the most interesting article I read today anyway. I like her articles more often than not.

Article of the Day

Sarah Palin's Cheat Sheet Palms the Show? I guess there's no such thing as bad publicity. But here's what I don't get: in movies, people have been using invisible receivers in their ears for decades: Old School, to name just one. Doesn't that technology really exist? Why doesn't anyone use it?

Article of the Day

The Electorate vs. Obama's Agenda, by Charles Krauthammer, is pretty accurate as I understand things.

Article of the Day

How Climate-Change Fanatics Corrupted Science, by Michael Barone, gives a good answer to the question how, as in, "in what ways?" I'd like more, though, on the question of how, as in, "how is it fuckin possible?!"