Gedas and Juste decided not to host a reception for their friends to express their love for them. At the initiative of Donkus, we decided that just won't stand. So we threw them a surprise wedding!
Traditional Lithuanian wedding: the couple to be has to pass several corrals: the gypsy corral, which tells their fortunes, the medic's corral, which administers tests, and the musicians corral, which plays games with them. Liepa and I volunteered to be in the medic's corral, because the gypsy corral was very popular, and we wanted to stand out more. And we're not good enough singers to make that our main attraction.
I wasn't officially the head medic, but I became the leader de facto. Liepa's and my experiences at Neringa and other camps made us qualified and skilled at thinking up funny bits to put the couple through. We all dressed up as doctors, and when the car came through to us we held across the road a long bandage entwined with flowers, and I held up my hand. They got out. They had no idea this was coming, cause like I said, it was a surprise, and there's actually many different ways weddings can go traditionally.
I said we're the highest commission of medics in Lithuania, Dr. Aiaras, Ailiepa, Aigvidas, and so one, everyone's name getting an Ai- in front of it in honor of Dr. Aiskauda, Lithuania's legendary medical hero. They have to pass our tests if they want to get married. After inspecting their eyes, the doctors and I decided that Gedas needs to pass a psychological test--to prove he can swallow his anger, he has to funnel a beer. He failed!
After inspecting their elbows, ears, butts, and noses, doctors and I decided that they need to pass reactionological, comradological, balancological, and child-foddering tests--they passed everything else. The only other really funny one was child-foddering, Juste had to feed Gedas a bottle full of beer while he laid on her lap with a bonnet on his head.
Then we sang this song for them and the Gypsies too:
Ten toli ošia žalia girelė,
Prie jos čigonai buria porelę.
Skamba gitaros, visi dainuoja,
Justė pašoka, Gedas nemoka. (2x2 k.)
Oi, jūs, čigonai, iš kur atėjot,
Plačiam pasauly kur vaikštinėjot?
Kur jūsų valda, kur užtvarėlė,
Kuri išbūrtų šią šeimynėlę? (2x2 k.)
Mes medikantai, kūnų klajūnai,
Tik pro mumis bus, santuokos rūmai.
Užkūrę pirtį, šoksim, trepsėsim
Ir savo didžią pjankę pradėsim. (2x2 k.)
Taip susitarę šoksim, trepsėsim,
Klausyk, Justina, ką tau kalbėsim:
Neieškok meilės turtingo pono,
Vilioki jautrią širdį čia Gedo. (2x2 k.)
Gedas - sveikuolis, Gedas - varguolis,
Gedas laimingas, Gedas vaisingas!
Gedas neturi ant savęs pono,
Kur tik pažvelgsi - žemė čigono! (2x2 k.)
Monday, July 30, 2007
Wedding Highlights II
Šv. Kazimiero was a great church to get married in. Father Vitkus was really great, funny, and entertaining. The organist and hymn singer were amazing. The latter was warming up in the back where the best men and I were dressing, Peanut goes, "Oh my God, she's amazing...is she for your wedding?!?"
Žaldokynė was a fantasic restaurant. It's thanks to us for booking it ten months in advance, but it's also thanks to them for being honest. They said they got countless call from people offering any amount of money it takes to get the hall for 7-7-7. I believe them. My special lady saw a bit on TV about people getting double crossed left and right for limos and other wedding servces for that day: "Pay double, or we refund your down payment in double." Our down payment was 300 litas. They would have been within their rights to refund us 600 and make an extra ten, twenty, thirty grand. But it wouldn't have been honest, so cheers to them.
Liudas Masys was a great photographer. Lots of really good non traditional shots, many candid. The posing ones felt like we were posing as models, not family members. He came by the next day, less than 16 hours after he'd left us, with a cd with over 1,200 pictures and an album with about 30 choice pictures printed out super high quality.
Kapelija (sp?) was a great band. Traditional, old fashioned music, exactly what we ordered. They even had a guy MC the whole evening, which was a godsend, cause I can't imagine who we could have got to do it so good: games, sing-alongs, special dances, the works.
Santa Salonas, where the best men and I got our tuxedos, is the worst place in the world. When I came the first time somebody was just leaving, in disgust. I wish I hadn't assumed it was an isolated incident and given them a chance. They didn't have any bow ties, except for clip ons, and they didn't have any shoes. They promised to get the bow ties. Okay, I guess the men and I can supply our own shoes. The mes are flying in, though, a week ahead of time. They tell me that's not enough time to prepare everything, we have to send ahead our measurements. Liars! Idiots! Because of this stupid move on their part, they were in a real bind when adjustments had to be made with less than 24 hours till show time. If they managed to do it in that time, though, they would have been much wiser to do it a week ago and not sew them wrong in the first place. Not to say that they did a good job sewing them: all the best men had velcro cummerbunds, and Peanut's was sew together backwards, so the ends met face to face instead of overlapping! Plus when we went to get them, a young woman was bitching them out and demanding her money back for sewing her dress wrong twice and wasting her time. They never got the bow ties they promised, there were slips of paper belonging to previous renters in the pockets, and the shirts had sweat stains around the collar. Those fuckers are lucky Gedas dropped out of the wedding party. If I wasn't in breach of contract myself for ending up short one best man, I would have given myself a sizable discount for poor service. When I went to return the tuxes I heard yet another damsel crying inside.
Žaldokynė was a fantasic restaurant. It's thanks to us for booking it ten months in advance, but it's also thanks to them for being honest. They said they got countless call from people offering any amount of money it takes to get the hall for 7-7-7. I believe them. My special lady saw a bit on TV about people getting double crossed left and right for limos and other wedding servces for that day: "Pay double, or we refund your down payment in double." Our down payment was 300 litas. They would have been within their rights to refund us 600 and make an extra ten, twenty, thirty grand. But it wouldn't have been honest, so cheers to them.
Liudas Masys was a great photographer. Lots of really good non traditional shots, many candid. The posing ones felt like we were posing as models, not family members. He came by the next day, less than 16 hours after he'd left us, with a cd with over 1,200 pictures and an album with about 30 choice pictures printed out super high quality.
Kapelija (sp?) was a great band. Traditional, old fashioned music, exactly what we ordered. They even had a guy MC the whole evening, which was a godsend, cause I can't imagine who we could have got to do it so good: games, sing-alongs, special dances, the works.
Santa Salonas, where the best men and I got our tuxedos, is the worst place in the world. When I came the first time somebody was just leaving, in disgust. I wish I hadn't assumed it was an isolated incident and given them a chance. They didn't have any bow ties, except for clip ons, and they didn't have any shoes. They promised to get the bow ties. Okay, I guess the men and I can supply our own shoes. The mes are flying in, though, a week ahead of time. They tell me that's not enough time to prepare everything, we have to send ahead our measurements. Liars! Idiots! Because of this stupid move on their part, they were in a real bind when adjustments had to be made with less than 24 hours till show time. If they managed to do it in that time, though, they would have been much wiser to do it a week ago and not sew them wrong in the first place. Not to say that they did a good job sewing them: all the best men had velcro cummerbunds, and Peanut's was sew together backwards, so the ends met face to face instead of overlapping! Plus when we went to get them, a young woman was bitching them out and demanding her money back for sewing her dress wrong twice and wasting her time. They never got the bow ties they promised, there were slips of paper belonging to previous renters in the pockets, and the shirts had sweat stains around the collar. Those fuckers are lucky Gedas dropped out of the wedding party. If I wasn't in breach of contract myself for ending up short one best man, I would have given myself a sizable discount for poor service. When I went to return the tuxes I heard yet another damsel crying inside.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Pirates the third, or Pirates the TURD?
Pirates of the Caribbean is a movie I can watch once a month and not get bored of it.
Pirates II is okay too: original, funny and exciting, visually entertaining too.
Pirates III, At World's End, however, should be renamed At Wit's End, since I was at my wit's end trying to enjoy it. No success.
1. Many of the jokes are recycled from the first two movies. Liepa said that made the movie funnier, I don't see it. If I know the punchline before it comes, I consider it poor writing, not funnier.
2. No great fight scenes. II managed not to be repetitive by having the great sword fight on the mill wheel rolling down the hill. All III managed was having sword fights in the rain...wow!
3. No new visual effects. II had the pirates hanging in cages, the sword fight mentioned above, Jack falling between those cliffs, and Davey Jones and his crew. All III had was the maelstrom, and my next complaint.
4. The delirious scene? All white with a guy's nose crawling along the screen? Get out of my face. I thought this was a pirate movie, not a weirdo mind trip movie. Most out of genre scene ever!
5. And every seen a shitty bad guy? Not this shitty! Lord Becket was all talk, and even that he was shitty at. How's this for a farewell as the ships goes down: "It was just supposed to be good business." Too bad I didn't know it wasn't supposed a good movie instead!
Pirates II is okay too: original, funny and exciting, visually entertaining too.
Pirates III, At World's End, however, should be renamed At Wit's End, since I was at my wit's end trying to enjoy it. No success.
1. Many of the jokes are recycled from the first two movies. Liepa said that made the movie funnier, I don't see it. If I know the punchline before it comes, I consider it poor writing, not funnier.
2. No great fight scenes. II managed not to be repetitive by having the great sword fight on the mill wheel rolling down the hill. All III managed was having sword fights in the rain...wow!
3. No new visual effects. II had the pirates hanging in cages, the sword fight mentioned above, Jack falling between those cliffs, and Davey Jones and his crew. All III had was the maelstrom, and my next complaint.
4. The delirious scene? All white with a guy's nose crawling along the screen? Get out of my face. I thought this was a pirate movie, not a weirdo mind trip movie. Most out of genre scene ever!
5. And every seen a shitty bad guy? Not this shitty! Lord Becket was all talk, and even that he was shitty at. How's this for a farewell as the ships goes down: "It was just supposed to be good business." Too bad I didn't know it wasn't supposed a good movie instead!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Wedding Highlights I
These are gonna come in bits and pieces--quotes and moments--cause the celebration lasted 8 days. Weddings that include a mass and 100 guests are very rare in Lithuania (usually it's just the marriage sacrament and ~30 guests), so comments about the splendor are re: that.
My speech at the reception included this: "We're not getting married married because we love each other..." I couldn't finish my thought before a tremendous roar of laughter silenced me for a minute. "I mean, we can love each other all we want without getting married; we're getting married in order to have a family. We want a big family because both of our families are so caring and so fun to be with."
One woman with two unmarried children said, "I've never been to such a wonderful wedding in all my life, and I probably never will!"
When we got to the reception we had to win our table from cross-dressers, since the place was dramatically overbooked. To satisfy them, we had to sing them a song. What song to we both know better than any other? Krambambolis! Several Lithuanian folk experts were astonished to hear a folk song for the first time. I guess first wave immigrants brought it over to the States and it died out in Lithuania.
I'd never seen my aunt wear pants before this in my life. Possibly she never had. After a few days of seeing me and my friends in casual wear, my 77 year old aunt pops in wearing torn, cut off jeans and laughs, "I found these going through some boxes of clothes; you think I can hang with Sarunas and his crew now?!"
My speech at the reception included this: "We're not getting married married because we love each other..." I couldn't finish my thought before a tremendous roar of laughter silenced me for a minute. "I mean, we can love each other all we want without getting married; we're getting married in order to have a family. We want a big family because both of our families are so caring and so fun to be with."
One woman with two unmarried children said, "I've never been to such a wonderful wedding in all my life, and I probably never will!"
When we got to the reception we had to win our table from cross-dressers, since the place was dramatically overbooked. To satisfy them, we had to sing them a song. What song to we both know better than any other? Krambambolis! Several Lithuanian folk experts were astonished to hear a folk song for the first time. I guess first wave immigrants brought it over to the States and it died out in Lithuania.
I'd never seen my aunt wear pants before this in my life. Possibly she never had. After a few days of seeing me and my friends in casual wear, my 77 year old aunt pops in wearing torn, cut off jeans and laughs, "I found these going through some boxes of clothes; you think I can hang with Sarunas and his crew now?!"
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