Seems like everyone my age is married. wtf. seems like gedas and juste are married, seems like rastenis and neringa are married, and seems like cedric is gay, so he doesn't count. that takes care of lithuania.
seems like darius and ellen are married, and seems like koon and stina are married, so that takes care of male amerikos lietuviai my age, except for knasas. yeah knasai! oh wait...
i haven't spoken to peanut in six months, but he's probably still seeing that hippie, kristoffa or whatever, so it seems like they're married too. seems like mat soule and that girl from uconn (yeah, that one) are married, though i haven't seen him in even longer. notorangelo and liz probably are married by now. regan and dale aren't married, but that's all i'm sure about, and i'm not even sure about them. sarah downs and oscar wilde married yet? does he still drive a pink beatle?
well, i guess i'll just have to marry the next woman i see and join the club. i hope she's around my age, give or take ten years, and i hope she fits my very narrow profile for women i find excessivly attractive.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Yesterday's Messege to Rita
The following was the conclusion of a telephone/sms conversation
"Doing favors for a student just because she an I have a friend in common is unethical; you know how I feel about ethics, so please don't ask me again, okay?"
"Doing favors for a student just because she an I have a friend in common is unethical; you know how I feel about ethics, so please don't ask me again, okay?"
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Graffiti I Saw This Weekend
Number One
Rastenis is a freak show, ugly and DUMB!
All night long he takes it in the BUM!
Ratenis is HOMO, short and FAT!
Takes of his pants and Oh No BLET!
Number Two
Do you thing Ratenis is a gay homosexual--YEAH YEAH YEAH!
You wanna eat cheese six times a day--NO NO NO!
You wanna eat six penis today--only if you're a French...
Numer Three
You're a
Monkey!
There was an ad with your
Picture,
and it said "NAUJENA:
BEZDZIONE BEDROCINANT RYJA BANANUS!"
Friday, March 25, 2005
Steroids
I don't see what the big deal is with steroids. What's the big deal? The idea that performance enhancing drugs somehow diminish the glory of baseball is ridiculous. The whole point is entertainment. If people are more entertained by hugely bemuscled athletes than scrawny ones, so be it. You could have robots dressed up as Americans out there at bat, what's the goddam difference?
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Something you might see walking to work in Lithuania:
A speeding ambulance driver ash his cigarette out the window.
Something you might see on your walk to work in Lithuania
A man driving a speeding ambulance ash his cigarette out the window.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
And the girls are tryin to look pretty...(name that tune)
I used to think teaching was hard sometimes, cause the girls are so beautiful it's hard to keep my mind on participles. I used to think that...before spring started.
Today was the first spring day, and let me tell you...you know what it was like? Have you ever focused your attention on maintaining "eye contact" with someone because he's cross-eyed, and you don't want to betray the fact that it's distracting? That was my day. Today was pop quiz day. Oral quizzes, so the students come over one at a time and sit across a narrow table from me, pick three questions out of a hat (it's more of a paper bag, really), and answer them promptly. I was dreading this the whole time; I'd seen what this girl was wearing--something like a very low, wide cut tight top revealing so much cleavage and her entire chest, just about the sexiest thing i've ever seen on a student. She belonged in...I don't know where...but somewhere sexy. My classroom is not sexy.
I almost held my papers up to block them out of my line of sight, but I found that I was, in fact, able to keep eye contact, the way I do with cross eyed people. The reason for this, however, wasn't exactly noble. She has some (two) of the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen in my life.
And it's only been spring for one day, God help me!
Today was the first spring day, and let me tell you...you know what it was like? Have you ever focused your attention on maintaining "eye contact" with someone because he's cross-eyed, and you don't want to betray the fact that it's distracting? That was my day. Today was pop quiz day. Oral quizzes, so the students come over one at a time and sit across a narrow table from me, pick three questions out of a hat (it's more of a paper bag, really), and answer them promptly. I was dreading this the whole time; I'd seen what this girl was wearing--something like a very low, wide cut tight top revealing so much cleavage and her entire chest, just about the sexiest thing i've ever seen on a student. She belonged in...I don't know where...but somewhere sexy. My classroom is not sexy.
I almost held my papers up to block them out of my line of sight, but I found that I was, in fact, able to keep eye contact, the way I do with cross eyed people. The reason for this, however, wasn't exactly noble. She has some (two) of the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen in my life.
And it's only been spring for one day, God help me!
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Savijauta = How I feel
Do you think it's possible to confuse hunger with thirst? The answer is yes, my friends, yes. I don't know if I'm hungry or thirsty now. It's possible I'm just suffereing due to something along the lines of stress. Whichever it is, I settled on an apple and a banana, instead of food or just water or coffee.
Last week was the most hellish week of my life, with several Hurculean tasks being thrown my way from different directions. I learned that anxiety tires me out quite a bit. I can do one job for hours and hours, and not even wanna quit and go home at seven, but when I have to keep switching gears and starting my work rhythm over again every five minutes I'm ready to go home at 1:30, and by Friday I had even blacked out several times; I couldn't remember much of what I'd done that week, and I still can't piece it all together. And I didn't even drink at all.
And this week I was afraid I was in for the same. Monday morning at breakfast my coffee maker somehow managed to make my coffee alright, but instead of dripping from the filter into the coffee pot, it dripped onto the table and floor. I didn't notice this till it was all the coffee and it was too late to make more.
Then at 9:30 I got a call from the Nursing Faculty's Deacon, who reminded me that I was supposed to have been at a meeting at 9. Just worse and worse. I had been supposed to submit one of the things i'd been preparing last week, a self-analysis of my department's activities over the past four years.
I walked down there with a bon-aqua bottle full of coffee (with milk, so it prolly looked like i was drinking a bottle of shizzy). I got there and I was ready for a barrage of criticism to match my morning and last week. To my everlasting relief (everlasting until today) she loved it, she was even overjoyed at parts and told me it was an excellent job that needed just a few details to be complete. Awesome.
Then I met Zaneta for a few beers--she drank about a half dozen cups of tea and one coffee. It was fun to talk about my job (I haven't for a while) now that I actually understand what my job is. I haven't had to explain it in Lithuanian since I started, really, and we talked about a few grammatical points she wanted clarrification on. Teaching English Grammar in Lithuanian is not easy. Also, I'm to pass her regards on to Darius (Razgiukas, I assume, or possibly Rucker).
This morning was good (except all the dishes were dirty, thanks to cedric, so i didn't eat eggs, which is unusual, and i had to use a depilatory applier as a butter knife; it had never been used!), classes were good (we talked about the first part of Zooey, from Franny and Zooey), but then something was bad. Ooo, Bad. Somebody who works in my department at the other faculty called me up, practically in tears. Another big thing I did last week, a preperation for an audit, was, apparently, dreadfully unprofessionally written, style and vocabulary-wise. So much so that she wants to quit her job now (she's mentioned that in the past, though, and she told me it's not my fault). Well, writing professionally in a language that's not pricipal to me is something harder than making up Lithuanian jokes; I wrote the thing the way I think about it day to day. Hell, I'm just now starting to learn how to write profesionally in English! But I still feel bad, so I'm fixing it up, based on last year's self-analysis of my department.
Well, anyway, I started going to the gym again this weekend, and as long as I keep that up I can wake up refreshed every morning with a perfectly cromulent chance for a good day.
Last week was the most hellish week of my life, with several Hurculean tasks being thrown my way from different directions. I learned that anxiety tires me out quite a bit. I can do one job for hours and hours, and not even wanna quit and go home at seven, but when I have to keep switching gears and starting my work rhythm over again every five minutes I'm ready to go home at 1:30, and by Friday I had even blacked out several times; I couldn't remember much of what I'd done that week, and I still can't piece it all together. And I didn't even drink at all.
And this week I was afraid I was in for the same. Monday morning at breakfast my coffee maker somehow managed to make my coffee alright, but instead of dripping from the filter into the coffee pot, it dripped onto the table and floor. I didn't notice this till it was all the coffee and it was too late to make more.
Then at 9:30 I got a call from the Nursing Faculty's Deacon, who reminded me that I was supposed to have been at a meeting at 9. Just worse and worse. I had been supposed to submit one of the things i'd been preparing last week, a self-analysis of my department's activities over the past four years.
I walked down there with a bon-aqua bottle full of coffee (with milk, so it prolly looked like i was drinking a bottle of shizzy). I got there and I was ready for a barrage of criticism to match my morning and last week. To my everlasting relief (everlasting until today) she loved it, she was even overjoyed at parts and told me it was an excellent job that needed just a few details to be complete. Awesome.
Then I met Zaneta for a few beers--she drank about a half dozen cups of tea and one coffee. It was fun to talk about my job (I haven't for a while) now that I actually understand what my job is. I haven't had to explain it in Lithuanian since I started, really, and we talked about a few grammatical points she wanted clarrification on. Teaching English Grammar in Lithuanian is not easy. Also, I'm to pass her regards on to Darius (Razgiukas, I assume, or possibly Rucker).
This morning was good (except all the dishes were dirty, thanks to cedric, so i didn't eat eggs, which is unusual, and i had to use a depilatory applier as a butter knife; it had never been used!), classes were good (we talked about the first part of Zooey, from Franny and Zooey), but then something was bad. Ooo, Bad. Somebody who works in my department at the other faculty called me up, practically in tears. Another big thing I did last week, a preperation for an audit, was, apparently, dreadfully unprofessionally written, style and vocabulary-wise. So much so that she wants to quit her job now (she's mentioned that in the past, though, and she told me it's not my fault). Well, writing professionally in a language that's not pricipal to me is something harder than making up Lithuanian jokes; I wrote the thing the way I think about it day to day. Hell, I'm just now starting to learn how to write profesionally in English! But I still feel bad, so I'm fixing it up, based on last year's self-analysis of my department.
Well, anyway, I started going to the gym again this weekend, and as long as I keep that up I can wake up refreshed every morning with a perfectly cromulent chance for a good day.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Sending you an SMS
Snezana: How come u r dirty? WTF?
Robis: Maudos dvi paaugles, viena kitai sako, ziurek kokia jau mano bezdzionele apaugusi, kita sako, nesigirk mano jau seniai bananus valgo:)
Aras: There's a party in my pants and everyone's invited! There's gonna be cocktails and cheese balls! We'll play Slip and Slide! RSVP
Anon: You are a gay bastard and Rastenis said he had sex with you last night...in your ass...i didn't even know you're gay! why didn't you tell me you're a fudge packer?
Plikusas: Fuck off:) i'm gonna come to your bed and fuck YOU in the ass one night:)
Joncikas: Rastenis lied to you, not in my ass! i am active gay, not passive gay as rastenis!:)
Aras: here's a lesson i learned the hard way: when sitting in a microbus, don't open a beer directly over your pants!
Anon: Rastenis--gay homosexual with a great horny love for Spock from Star Trek! He said he wants Spock to fuck him up the ass all night long and whistper in his ear about logic!
Robis: Maudos dvi paaugles, viena kitai sako, ziurek kokia jau mano bezdzionele apaugusi, kita sako, nesigirk mano jau seniai bananus valgo:)
Aras: There's a party in my pants and everyone's invited! There's gonna be cocktails and cheese balls! We'll play Slip and Slide! RSVP
Anon: You are a gay bastard and Rastenis said he had sex with you last night...in your ass...i didn't even know you're gay! why didn't you tell me you're a fudge packer?
Plikusas: Fuck off:) i'm gonna come to your bed and fuck YOU in the ass one night:)
Joncikas: Rastenis lied to you, not in my ass! i am active gay, not passive gay as rastenis!:)
Aras: here's a lesson i learned the hard way: when sitting in a microbus, don't open a beer directly over your pants!
Anon: Rastenis--gay homosexual with a great horny love for Spock from Star Trek! He said he wants Spock to fuck him up the ass all night long and whistper in his ear about logic!
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Riding that train...
Gedas and I had fun friday night. But I'll skip to the awesome part, that was one of the most exciting things i've ever done. At three a.m. we couldn't get a cab home; they were all busy or wouldn't answer the phone or whatever, but we had to walk a few kilometers in the cold dark night.
We started off from Mano Kavine (My Cafe), crossed the bridge into Uzupis, and were walking up the hill past the Angel Statue. A snow plow drove by, and I thought about jumping on the back, ala the bus in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but I hesitated and it was gone. I told gedas about my impulse, and he agreed it would have been a good idea.
Then: providence! The plow stopped. We looked at each other and started running. It pulled away right as we made it but I managed to jump onto a small step ladder attached to the back and hold on, while Gedas faded away behind me.
We picked up speed (30km/h or more, I think, about 20 mph). I waved and howled to pedestrians as we passed them. We were already approaching Gedas' apartment building, but we were going too fast for me to jump off. I thought they'd stop again, like when I climbed on, but no...
not far past Gedas' building there's a turn I knew they would take, so they'd have to slow down. I waited until they started turning, and jumped off, bent legged with my handes over my head, similar to the way i was taught to land skydiving. i hit the pavement and rolled over a few times, but managed to run out of the middle of the street before getting hit by any cars.
It was totally like being in a movie or something!!! AMAZING! Gedas said he terribly regretted not jumping on with me. We'll do it again dude!
We started off from Mano Kavine (My Cafe), crossed the bridge into Uzupis, and were walking up the hill past the Angel Statue. A snow plow drove by, and I thought about jumping on the back, ala the bus in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but I hesitated and it was gone. I told gedas about my impulse, and he agreed it would have been a good idea.
Then: providence! The plow stopped. We looked at each other and started running. It pulled away right as we made it but I managed to jump onto a small step ladder attached to the back and hold on, while Gedas faded away behind me.
We picked up speed (30km/h or more, I think, about 20 mph). I waved and howled to pedestrians as we passed them. We were already approaching Gedas' apartment building, but we were going too fast for me to jump off. I thought they'd stop again, like when I climbed on, but no...
not far past Gedas' building there's a turn I knew they would take, so they'd have to slow down. I waited until they started turning, and jumped off, bent legged with my handes over my head, similar to the way i was taught to land skydiving. i hit the pavement and rolled over a few times, but managed to run out of the middle of the street before getting hit by any cars.
It was totally like being in a movie or something!!! AMAZING! Gedas said he terribly regretted not jumping on with me. We'll do it again dude!
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Help me, francophones!
Cedric: LE NECK TIL LIB TRILEA LI.BEN....LOOKU KLIP..JOLTEW KELI..ULI..LEUK'L....LUSTM..LOOMMM....KLIPSTYE.....ASSHOLE....KLSSTY...LLOU JJJI...LOTUVP...
is this french or jibberish? the only word i understand is "asshole."
is this french or jibberish? the only word i understand is "asshole."
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