Aras: everybody say hey--ho--hey--ho! now everybody say pimp--olas--pimp--olas! now go cyp--ciukai--cyp--ciukai! Yeah it's my love poem, do you like? It's about me...
Bronius: I need a translation, i didn't get a point
Aras: I translate for thirty lits an hour, thirty minute minumum...but for you i'll do it for a beer!
Bronius: Ha, no way - no free translation - no answer, otherwise ich kann ja auch alles auf deutsch schrieben, dann muss schon du mir ein grosses bier fur ubersetzung kaufen!
Aras: I buy you a Big Beer, just cause du kanst schrieben auf deutsche? Alles Manner sprecht deutsche!
Bronius: Aber nicht alle verstehen Konnen was geschrieben ist. why should i buy beer for you? just because you can write english?
Aras: LOL! labanaktis
Bronius: finally i get what did want from me! well, the answer is - primysciau tau i ausi, labanaktis
--------
Cedric: I AM EATHING MY BOURBOTS
Karolis: Men we must drink some beer, reapeat beer
Anon: Dude do you like tha band? The ones that playthe guitars with pubic hairs for stings?
Aras: Man, Rastenis is such a freak! He just told me a secret (shhh)...he uses hair growth cream as lube on his BIG dildo, cause he wants to grow a big beard on his asshole!
Thursday, February 24, 2005
snl in class
yesterday i showed best of snl dvds (in english, no subtitles) to two classes: dana carvey to one, and will farrel to the other. it was a little embarrassing sometimes when they used terms like: "kibbles and bits" hanging out of your shorts; linda trip totally "cock-blocked" slick willie; or i can see your "bulge." but i stand firmly on the belief that english teachers ought to know slang, not just formal english, and that college students are certainly old enough to study such topics. though i must admit i'm rahter glad nobody interupted the movie to ask "excuse me, what does 'cock block' mean?"
Friday, February 18, 2005
email between two lovers...
neringa and i played a joke on rastenis, here's how it goes:From: Neringa Zemaityte
To: Rastenis
Sent: Thursday, February 17, 2005 2:51 PM
Subject: Re:
klausyk, brangusi--
as labai tave myliu, ir visada bandau visus klausymelius zodziu, kartu
isspresti...bet sitas yra biski keistas, man net geda biski, ir truputeli bijau tavo
reakcijos. visuomet as myliu myletis su tavim, ir pagalvojau, gal net meilingiau,
smagiau galetu buti, jei ko nors naujo isbandytum...nesaipyk is manes, jei baisiai
keistai skambes...gerai? va: as noriu dirbtini byby uzsimovus tavo sikna ispisti
visa vakara, ir, kad tu sauktum man su asarom akyse "you're my daddy! you're my
daddy!"
neringa
sms freedom
aras: i want to give you a flower, and when you close your eyes to smell it, i'll punch you in the face and kick you in the balls and tie you to a tree and flog your ass! :)
cedric: oh yeah? i hope you give me a sunflower
jurgis: are you fucking each other, or are you coming memelis?
aras: you wanna party at 8:30 in the morning? you're crazy!
bronius: du arschloch! ich habe dir diessen sms geschriben wenn es noch umgefar 1:30 war!
aras: i secretely gave rastenis a blow up doll for his b-day, but you know what he did with it? he attached a strap-on dildo so she could fu ck him in the ass! what a pedal! :)
cedric: oh yeah? i hope you give me a sunflower
jurgis: are you fucking each other, or are you coming memelis?
aras: you wanna party at 8:30 in the morning? you're crazy!
bronius: du arschloch! ich habe dir diessen sms geschriben wenn es noch umgefar 1:30 war!
aras: i secretely gave rastenis a blow up doll for his b-day, but you know what he did with it? he attached a strap-on dildo so she could fu ck him in the ass! what a pedal! :)
Friday, February 11, 2005
this morning's emails
this morning when i got to my office i received 23 emails, and it took me an hour and ten minutes to read, watch, and respond to all of them. it was the best. the best part was that not a single one was work related, and i'm certain 90% were sent from places of business.
oops; upon review four were work related, but they're papers that i can grade later.
oops; upon review four were work related, but they're papers that i can grade later.
Monday, February 07, 2005
an sms or two on the way to vilnius:
aras: what would you do if i pissed in your ear? please tell me, cause i'm bored! also my farts smell bad. . . . :'(
cedric: if you pissed in my ear i would have piss in my brain and i would say "i am haPISS i want to visit uzuPISS" tonight i'll see jurgISS.
saidas: you don't do that! i don't let to do that!
bronius: kaip tikras krikscionis atsukciau tau kita ausi
(like a real christian i'd turn the other ear to you)
cedric: you are not clever if i meet a girl of sixteen i would give her heroine and pur her on a sidewalk wait few minutes and take the cash from the customer!
cedric: oh yes?? see if i care. you didn't want to wash the dishes asshole! i will fart on your door all the day!!!
cedric: if you pissed in my ear i would have piss in my brain and i would say "i am haPISS i want to visit uzuPISS" tonight i'll see jurgISS.
saidas: you don't do that! i don't let to do that!
bronius: kaip tikras krikscionis atsukciau tau kita ausi
(like a real christian i'd turn the other ear to you)
cedric: you are not clever if i meet a girl of sixteen i would give her heroine and pur her on a sidewalk wait few minutes and take the cash from the customer!
cedric: oh yes?? see if i care. you didn't want to wash the dishes asshole! i will fart on your door all the day!!!
Rastenio Birthday
This weekend I went down to Vilnius just for a day and a night to celebrate the birthday of my buddy, Rastenis, a.k.a. Begedis, a couple other "B-words," Homo, and Angelas. He's a great guy, a totally shameless individual who will indicate this characterstic to anyone within five minutes of meeting him.
It was actually in Trakai that we celebrated, in a rented house in the woods next to a lake with a sauna. I drove out with Gedas and Juste, and we gave him his present, a t-shirt i had had made with Rastenio catch phrase on it: "I can suck my own dick." The first time he tried to convince me of this, he ended up saying the line that was lower, in small letter, in parentheses: "(I may be a liar, but I'll smash this bottle over your head, and you won't be alive anymore!)" He immediately put it on and wore it for the rest of the night.
Alot of the guys from Palanga Weekend in October were there, Joncikas, Zygis, and Plikusas, and we drank many shots together. Soon enough, Rastenis was sloppy, and Gedas started having some kind of wrestling match with him, more or less just not letting him leave one corner of the room. He was only wearing shorts, so I went over and pantsed him. He's still trying to break free from Gedo grasp, but now with his pimpuliukas waving in the breeze for thirty people to glance at (this is not unusual). Finally he freed himself, and collapsed on the floor, struggling to stand and pull his shorts up at the same time, utterly failing in both. His girlfriend Neringa, always helpful to the handicapped, had to come help him to his feet and pull his shorts up.
Later was sauna time. Somebody said it was only 95 degrees (203 farenheit), but it totally felt hotter to me. And then water was dumped on, and it wasn't easy to stick it out for fifteen minutes. Afterwards I was in the cold shower, as is traditional, and Joncikas comes in. "What are you doing, " he says, "you call this cold?! next time we're jumping into the lake!!!" I agreed wholeheartedly, not realizing the lake was covered with ice so thick people were icefishing. The next time came a little later, after Kristina had arrived. Joncikas and I returned to the sauna and sat in that steamy room till we were sweating balls. Then we ran outside, down the yard, down the dock, and jumped into a decent size hole Joncikas had bashed though the ice earlier. It was so cold we both started screaming as soon as our heads emerged, so loud that people thought we were dying. It was awesome!!!!!
Then we ran back into the sauna and even in there I felt cold for a while.
Happy Birthday again, Rasteni, and thanks for a great party.
It was actually in Trakai that we celebrated, in a rented house in the woods next to a lake with a sauna. I drove out with Gedas and Juste, and we gave him his present, a t-shirt i had had made with Rastenio catch phrase on it: "I can suck my own dick." The first time he tried to convince me of this, he ended up saying the line that was lower, in small letter, in parentheses: "(I may be a liar, but I'll smash this bottle over your head, and you won't be alive anymore!)" He immediately put it on and wore it for the rest of the night.
Alot of the guys from Palanga Weekend in October were there, Joncikas, Zygis, and Plikusas, and we drank many shots together. Soon enough, Rastenis was sloppy, and Gedas started having some kind of wrestling match with him, more or less just not letting him leave one corner of the room. He was only wearing shorts, so I went over and pantsed him. He's still trying to break free from Gedo grasp, but now with his pimpuliukas waving in the breeze for thirty people to glance at (this is not unusual). Finally he freed himself, and collapsed on the floor, struggling to stand and pull his shorts up at the same time, utterly failing in both. His girlfriend Neringa, always helpful to the handicapped, had to come help him to his feet and pull his shorts up.
Later was sauna time. Somebody said it was only 95 degrees (203 farenheit), but it totally felt hotter to me. And then water was dumped on, and it wasn't easy to stick it out for fifteen minutes. Afterwards I was in the cold shower, as is traditional, and Joncikas comes in. "What are you doing, " he says, "you call this cold?! next time we're jumping into the lake!!!" I agreed wholeheartedly, not realizing the lake was covered with ice so thick people were icefishing. The next time came a little later, after Kristina had arrived. Joncikas and I returned to the sauna and sat in that steamy room till we were sweating balls. Then we ran outside, down the yard, down the dock, and jumped into a decent size hole Joncikas had bashed though the ice earlier. It was so cold we both started screaming as soon as our heads emerged, so loud that people thought we were dying. It was awesome!!!!!
Then we ran back into the sauna and even in there I felt cold for a while.
Happy Birthday again, Rasteni, and thanks for a great party.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Some lovely smses
Vytis: kai wel wisi kalsim lys nuogom bobom :-D
(next time we all get loaded it'll rain naked bitches)
Algis: :) you're crazy, dude. tell me more about rastenis's ass :)
Aras: Rastenis called me all drunk last night with sth to tell me...know what it was? He said "i'm a woman trapped in a man's body. I know, cause I get the menstruel cramps real bad!"
Vytis: Rastenis wakar joncikui sukiso ranka i sikna
(Last night rastenis stuck his hand up joncik's ass)
Joncikas: ne ranka man rastenis kiso, o nosi! :)
(It wasn't rastenis' hand, it was his nose!)
Rastenis: I can suck my own dick.
Aras: cedric your a dick, in your ass a stick! you're an ugly snot, every day a sot! cocks in your butt, cause you're a homo slut! gay all day! freak all weak!
Joncikas: Hi! Rastenis per naujeka smauke i kamera ir buvo nufilmuotas! :)
On New Year's Eve Rastenis was caught on tape jerking off into a freezer!
Robis: toje vietoje, su kuria vyrai dazniausiai galvoja, pas moteris yra tik skyle! :)
(the place where men come up with most of their ideas is where women have just a hole!)
Algis: If you're in vilnius now, you will have to go back to klaipeda because you forgot rastenis's present--a big rubber dick in the ass:)
(next time we all get loaded it'll rain naked bitches)
Algis: :) you're crazy, dude. tell me more about rastenis's ass :)
Aras: Rastenis called me all drunk last night with sth to tell me...know what it was? He said "i'm a woman trapped in a man's body. I know, cause I get the menstruel cramps real bad!"
Vytis: Rastenis wakar joncikui sukiso ranka i sikna
(Last night rastenis stuck his hand up joncik's ass)
Joncikas: ne ranka man rastenis kiso, o nosi! :)
(It wasn't rastenis' hand, it was his nose!)
Rastenis: I can suck my own dick.
Aras: cedric your a dick, in your ass a stick! you're an ugly snot, every day a sot! cocks in your butt, cause you're a homo slut! gay all day! freak all weak!
Joncikas: Hi! Rastenis per naujeka smauke i kamera ir buvo nufilmuotas! :)
On New Year's Eve Rastenis was caught on tape jerking off into a freezer!
Robis: toje vietoje, su kuria vyrai dazniausiai galvoja, pas moteris yra tik skyle! :)
(the place where men come up with most of their ideas is where women have just a hole!)
Algis: If you're in vilnius now, you will have to go back to klaipeda because you forgot rastenis's present--a big rubber dick in the ass:)
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Class Participation
J.D.: you can eat in Lithuania all the time, it's not a problem.
Professor Vebra: there isn't any hunger in Lithuania, no poor people?
J.D.: yeah, but at night they eat the [trash].
Professor Vebra: the what?
J.D.: the trash, they all eat from the trash at night!
Professor Vebra: only at night?
J.D.: yes, yes, at night! it's a party!!
Professor Vebra: there isn't any hunger in Lithuania, no poor people?
J.D.: yeah, but at night they eat the [trash].
Professor Vebra: the what?
J.D.: the trash, they all eat from the trash at night!
Professor Vebra: only at night?
J.D.: yes, yes, at night! it's a party!!
An Excellent Ripost
Tete: what made you find this webpage [about snoring]?
Aras: i found this webpage because the girl i mentioned in the newsletter wakes me up one million times a night because of my snoring.
Tete: that must be some bad snoring if she can hear you in the next room with the door closed.
Aras: i found this webpage because the girl i mentioned in the newsletter wakes me up one million times a night because of my snoring.
Tete: that must be some bad snoring if she can hear you in the next room with the door closed.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Acronym Research
ARAS
Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences
ARAS
Accident Reporting Automation System (US Army)
ARAS
Antireflective Antistatic (coating on computer monitors)
ARAS
Ascending Reticular Activating System
ARAS
Atmospheric Research and Remote Sensing Airplane
ARAS
Atomic Resonance Absorption Spectroscopy
SEAN
State Enrolled Assistant Nurse
SEAN
Study by Extension for All Nations
CHASE
Complete Health and Safety Evaluation Scheme (United Kingdom)
DALE
Disability Adjusted Life Expectancy
DALE
Drug Abuse Law Enforcement
CRAP
Coventry Residents Against Phish
ASS
After School Special
ASS
After School Suspension
ASS
Alien Space Ship
ASS
American Students' Society
PENIS
Proton-Enhanced Nuclear Induction Spectroscopy (NMR technique)
TWAT
The War Against Terrorism
TWAT
The Warm As Toast (cafe in Cardiff, Wales, UK)
TWAT
The Western Area Tourers Motorcycle Club
TWAT
The Word Association Thread (game)
TWAT
Traveling-Wave Amplifier Tube
Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences
ARAS
Accident Reporting Automation System (US Army)
ARAS
Antireflective Antistatic (coating on computer monitors)
ARAS
Ascending Reticular Activating System
ARAS
Atmospheric Research and Remote Sensing Airplane
ARAS
Atomic Resonance Absorption Spectroscopy
SEAN
State Enrolled Assistant Nurse
SEAN
Study by Extension for All Nations
CHASE
Complete Health and Safety Evaluation Scheme (United Kingdom)
DALE
Disability Adjusted Life Expectancy
DALE
Drug Abuse Law Enforcement
CRAP
Coventry Residents Against Phish
ASS
After School Special
ASS
After School Suspension
ASS
Alien Space Ship
ASS
American Students' Society
PENIS
Proton-Enhanced Nuclear Induction Spectroscopy (NMR technique)
TWAT
The War Against Terrorism
TWAT
The Warm As Toast (cafe in Cardiff, Wales, UK)
TWAT
The Western Area Tourers Motorcycle Club
TWAT
The Word Association Thread (game)
TWAT
Traveling-Wave Amplifier Tube
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