I got to Vilnius for New Year's Eve Wednesday evening, cause nothing was going on at work and I was bored ;)
Wednesday night I went out for Chinese food with Juste and Gedas. Afterwards we had a beer at Pilies Mene and drove back to my place. We played poker for change, and Juste, who is a poker dealer at a casino, lost everything big time (three lits). Well, she did drink a bottle of vermouth. Gedas and I drank “Kalnapilis 7*30.”
Thursday night we partied hardy again, the three of us plus Cedric, Rastenis (“Angele” from here on in), and Neringa (with a lovely new haircut drawing more attention to a very gorgeous face). We played quarters with lits, and then we played Asshole. I think we played Circle of Death as well, and if anybody can help me out with any other actives in which we partook before the sauna, help me out ;)
Then we hit the sauna. As I recall, it was Gedas, Cedric and I, just the three of us beating each other with these things called “vantos,” which are bunches of soft beleaved twigs that are soaked in hot water, warmed on the burning stones, then used to pummel someone’s backside. It’s quite exhilarating and relaxing at the same time, plus it looks funny when you stand up and are covered with leaves. Cedric contests that Angele and Neringa were there too. Maybe.
The next day Angele and Neringa were off to work in the morning (God help them). I made chicken North Hudson for the remainder of us. In case you’re not acquainted with this wonderful dish, it’s basically chicken thighs baked in olive oil with much garlic. Also I made fries and corn and Cedric made salad. We ate like kings. LIKE KINGS I TELL YOU!!!
Sorry about blowing up like that, my coffee just kicked in.
We had just this morning received an invitation we would accept for a New Years. We spent some woeful minutes wondering whether we would even make it out again after two nights of dusk till dawn drinking.
Then came the big night: New Years Eve. We had, of course, decided to go out (Note: my mother had asked me if I’d be going out to celebrate New Year’s; I said “What? Are you kidding? I go out to celebrate Wednesdays!”). Cedric and I spent some time before leaving talking about what we should bring and wear; there was some ambiguous instruction about costumes and drinks and performances. First of all, in Lithuanian the word for costume and suit is a homonym: kostumas. So we weren’t sure if we were supposed to dress up in suits or togas. It was Gedas who took the call, and he was gone with Juste to get ready himself by the time we were considering this. We decided on base ball caps and if we were supposed to present something we’d put them on and do this dance I do all the time (privately) that I learned from Nick Bristol: one hand grasps your junk, the other hand pointing up above your head, and just dance around like a drunk blind man with a shit eating grin.
Waiting for Gedas in front of Minima we again discussed drinks, which was hard because I couldn’t talk about vodka. I was tearfully like, “I don’t wanna talk about it…” I convinced Cedric to go for Jagermeister, but Minima didn’t have any, those bastards. We got bottles of whisky, 999, and champagne. We went in. I met and talked to several girls with interesting names, including Ugne (fire) and Angele (angel). Also there were two guys named Liutauras, which sounds like Liutas (lion). A lot of people left early though, for other parties.
The order of events that follows is blurred. We walked down to the Cathedral as a huge group (one of many huge groups) to see the fireworks a welcome the New Year. It was funny. Having brought one bottle of champagne total, Gedas, Cedric and I each marched to the square with a bottle each J LOL
We got back and danced a little bit, but I spent most of my time in the smoking room, not necessarily smoking, but that happened to be where people met each other and had conversations. There were even non-smokers who spent hours at a time in there. At one point, a very cute girl, whom I was thinking about how to approach, approached me with “may I sit here?” Chatting chatting dancing drinking smoking chatting sitting on my lap (and now we’re dating). At fourish, though, she left with a friend who was able to give her a drunken drive home.
We stayed. We…were…retarded. There’s an excellent word in Lithuanian (zvengti) that is hard to translate: “to bust a gut laughing hysterically,” I’d say. Well, we zvengem for the next three hours straight. The three of us sat in the smoking room chatting with whomever came in, trying to be serious, and laughing at each other’s feeble attempts. Also, almost nobody had a lighter at this party. We didn’t. So all the people that came in for a smoke and asked us for a light just had to wait around with us dumbasses till someone better equipped came in. At one point Cedric broke out his impressive knowledge of Lithuanian, which consists of about 50 words, every one of which he explained joyously with hand gestures and pointing to a Lithuanian girl sitting next to him. When she told him she wasn’t drunk enough for such mindless banter, he declared that he would switch to a more serious theme: dinosaurs. He only knew the names in French, and even in French he only knew a few though. Still, he was willing to talk about them (he generally considers dinosaurs to have been “assholes”) at length, designating a dinosaur by mimicking its movements and sounds.
We had stupid adventures on the way home at seven o’clock. It was a very good new years eve, followed by several days of healing movie and sauna marathons.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Sunday, December 26, 2004
The Second Day of Christmas
The next day I was in fine form, and decided to host a dinner party. Gedas, Rastenis (from hereon “Angele”), and Neringa agreed to come. Cedric and I went out to Rimi, and Norwegian grocery store chain (you wouldn’t know), and bought everything for roast chicken and gravy, corn, and salad (my aunt grows potatoes, so that was all set). Giblets don’t come with chickens here, so I had to by them separately. But you can’t buy a set of them, you can only buy, like, a pound of necks, a pound of livers, and a pound stomachs separately. Nobody makes gravy here. People love my gravy, but if I tell them what it’s made of they are sickened.
We prepped food, including croutons from stale white bread, and watched Brassed Off, with Ewen McGregor, from the makers of Children of the Revolution. Angele called and said he and Neringa weren’t going to eat, and I said, “Blet, are you kidding?”
Soon enough everyone was here, and now Angele said he would eat, but not to be hurt if he doesn’t eat much, cause he’s dreadfully full from eating at relatives’ homes. All right, I said. Angele continued to talk about it: “fuck, man, I don’t know what to do, there so much food and no where to put it, sometimes life is so hard….”
And I replied, “you might consider being more careful what you cry about in life, Rasteni; some people don’t have enough food.” He said he didn’t understand. So I elaborated through mockery: “Oh woe is me, all my relatives gave me so much money for Christmas, what the hell will I do with it all, I don’t know what to spend it on, life is so unfair sometimes…”
Food was ready, and at first we just served salad. It was super, so much so that Angele, full as he was, helped himself to more—quite a compliment. On to the main courses. Gradually, little by little, Angele picked up the pace of his eating, and soon seemed to be eating more than anybody else, with Neringa next to him telling him to slow down or else he’ll be sick. And he fell in love with BBQ sauce, never having tasted it before; he drowned his potatoes in it.
After the food was all gone, I sliced myself some bread and dipped it in leftover gravy. It looked gross, but I insisted it was the best, and Rastenis asked to taste mine. Immediately, then, he cut himself some bread, and then some more, until all the gravy had been consumed in this fashion.
We all started cleaning up, taking dishes back. I walked by the dining room, wherein I noticed Angele, sitting by the table now alone, head tilted back, pouring BBQ sauce directly into his mouth.
Following several remarks about how fat Angele would soon become, he grew anxious and had to smoke a cigarette (he’d successfully quit about two months ago). We went out onto the balcony, everyone smoking, one man, guess who, couching up a lung to everyone’s amusement. Then, to clear his mouth, he tried to spit, but instead of projecting the spit it dribbled all over his shirt. I’m still laughing out loud about it.
I said it then and I’ll say it again: Rasteni, Tu esi mano nebaigantis saltinis! (You’re my never ending well [of ridiculousness])
We prepped food, including croutons from stale white bread, and watched Brassed Off, with Ewen McGregor, from the makers of Children of the Revolution. Angele called and said he and Neringa weren’t going to eat, and I said, “Blet, are you kidding?”
Soon enough everyone was here, and now Angele said he would eat, but not to be hurt if he doesn’t eat much, cause he’s dreadfully full from eating at relatives’ homes. All right, I said. Angele continued to talk about it: “fuck, man, I don’t know what to do, there so much food and no where to put it, sometimes life is so hard….”
And I replied, “you might consider being more careful what you cry about in life, Rasteni; some people don’t have enough food.” He said he didn’t understand. So I elaborated through mockery: “Oh woe is me, all my relatives gave me so much money for Christmas, what the hell will I do with it all, I don’t know what to spend it on, life is so unfair sometimes…”
Food was ready, and at first we just served salad. It was super, so much so that Angele, full as he was, helped himself to more—quite a compliment. On to the main courses. Gradually, little by little, Angele picked up the pace of his eating, and soon seemed to be eating more than anybody else, with Neringa next to him telling him to slow down or else he’ll be sick. And he fell in love with BBQ sauce, never having tasted it before; he drowned his potatoes in it.
After the food was all gone, I sliced myself some bread and dipped it in leftover gravy. It looked gross, but I insisted it was the best, and Rastenis asked to taste mine. Immediately, then, he cut himself some bread, and then some more, until all the gravy had been consumed in this fashion.
We all started cleaning up, taking dishes back. I walked by the dining room, wherein I noticed Angele, sitting by the table now alone, head tilted back, pouring BBQ sauce directly into his mouth.
Following several remarks about how fat Angele would soon become, he grew anxious and had to smoke a cigarette (he’d successfully quit about two months ago). We went out onto the balcony, everyone smoking, one man, guess who, couching up a lung to everyone’s amusement. Then, to clear his mouth, he tried to spit, but instead of projecting the spit it dribbled all over his shirt. I’m still laughing out loud about it.
I said it then and I’ll say it again: Rasteni, Tu esi mano nebaigantis saltinis! (You’re my never ending well [of ridiculousness])
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Christmas Weekend
Christmas Eve is a somber holiday in Lithuania: no drinking. Some families drink wine, but not mine. My immediate family does; I mean my aunts and cousins, with whom I celebrated, do not. So Christmas Eve I got into Vilnius from Klaipeda and was home to meet everybody (we have the biggest house, so a few families gathered here even though nobody was here to greet them). Many delicious dishes, lots of fun catching up with a few cousins my age, give or take ten years, and several aunts and uncles more in what I'd consider "grandparents age." Well, I guess they are all grandparents, after all.
Christmas Day is the big fun holiday here: drinking and merriment before food is even served. On this day there was everybody from the night before plus a couple more families. When the first arrived, and I offered coffee, the riposte was: “well, um, how about let’s have a beer instead??”
And so on. The first thing we ate was sausage, cooked on the dining room table by squirting an inflammable fluid on them and lighting them for a few minutes—impressive and delicious. Next was a big ass ham. The question arose, “who will carve it.” Someone answered, “Well, Jim always carves when he’s here, so why doesn’t his son take over?” I did, and I carved super well—big ass slices. I think that’s my word of the day: “big ass.”
Anyway, we drank a lot more and I had fun with my cousins, we exchanged a few phone numbers, then off to town. Cedric could tell me where he was or where he wanted to meet, so I told him, frustrated, to meet me at the White Elephants, a vegetarian restaurant, which turned out to be closed. We went to another bar, where Cedric downed beers and I nursed a couple, already feeling woozy at nine o’clock.
Gedas called, and I told him we were at Pilies Mene, and he agreed to meet us there. About a half hour later I called back, he said he was almost there, and I said “Oh man, sorry dude, I made a mistake, we’re not at Pilies Mene, we’re at Savas Kampas, sorry man!”
About a half hour later he calls me back and asks where we are. “We’re right inside, man. You can’t see us? We’re right by the entrance. Hold on, I’ll come outside...OH MY GOD WE’RE HERE??? HOW CAN WE BE HERE???” We weren’t at Savas Kampas either, we were at Amatininkai, which is, incidentally, halfway in between the two bars I had sent them to.
They came in and we had a beer or two. Then we left to go to a club, but first, someone thought we should have a drink on the way. The drink—I don’t know whose idea this was—turned into a bottle (.7 liters) of brandy for four guys for about ten minutes. WHAT?! Ok, now we’re...ready to go to a club? Ok, whatever you guys say...
We went to Voo Doo, some kind of trance or techno or something. Whatever it was it was a little weird but I danced for a while anyway—it was fun, the people looked like they belonged there. Then I wanted to leave for some reason (I don’t remember), and Cedric came with me. We went to Pub Near the University, and saw a band we see all the time by accident, they’re good. They’re called Sun’s Bellbottoms (Saules I forget their name). And I got to say “merry Christmas” to a lot of Americans, mostly marines.
While this is going on, Koste, who stayed at Voo Doo with Gedas, is arguing with the bartender:
Koste: I gave you a fifty!
Bartender: you gave me a ten, and you still owe me three!
This went on and on until they were both kicked out, and almost beaten up for trying to sneak back in.
We went home and ate dunes.
Christmas Day is the big fun holiday here: drinking and merriment before food is even served. On this day there was everybody from the night before plus a couple more families. When the first arrived, and I offered coffee, the riposte was: “well, um, how about let’s have a beer instead??”
And so on. The first thing we ate was sausage, cooked on the dining room table by squirting an inflammable fluid on them and lighting them for a few minutes—impressive and delicious. Next was a big ass ham. The question arose, “who will carve it.” Someone answered, “Well, Jim always carves when he’s here, so why doesn’t his son take over?” I did, and I carved super well—big ass slices. I think that’s my word of the day: “big ass.”
Anyway, we drank a lot more and I had fun with my cousins, we exchanged a few phone numbers, then off to town. Cedric could tell me where he was or where he wanted to meet, so I told him, frustrated, to meet me at the White Elephants, a vegetarian restaurant, which turned out to be closed. We went to another bar, where Cedric downed beers and I nursed a couple, already feeling woozy at nine o’clock.
Gedas called, and I told him we were at Pilies Mene, and he agreed to meet us there. About a half hour later I called back, he said he was almost there, and I said “Oh man, sorry dude, I made a mistake, we’re not at Pilies Mene, we’re at Savas Kampas, sorry man!”
About a half hour later he calls me back and asks where we are. “We’re right inside, man. You can’t see us? We’re right by the entrance. Hold on, I’ll come outside...OH MY GOD WE’RE HERE??? HOW CAN WE BE HERE???” We weren’t at Savas Kampas either, we were at Amatininkai, which is, incidentally, halfway in between the two bars I had sent them to.
They came in and we had a beer or two. Then we left to go to a club, but first, someone thought we should have a drink on the way. The drink—I don’t know whose idea this was—turned into a bottle (.7 liters) of brandy for four guys for about ten minutes. WHAT?! Ok, now we’re...ready to go to a club? Ok, whatever you guys say...
We went to Voo Doo, some kind of trance or techno or something. Whatever it was it was a little weird but I danced for a while anyway—it was fun, the people looked like they belonged there. Then I wanted to leave for some reason (I don’t remember), and Cedric came with me. We went to Pub Near the University, and saw a band we see all the time by accident, they’re good. They’re called Sun’s Bellbottoms (Saules I forget their name). And I got to say “merry Christmas” to a lot of Americans, mostly marines.
While this is going on, Koste, who stayed at Voo Doo with Gedas, is arguing with the bartender:
Koste: I gave you a fifty!
Bartender: you gave me a ten, and you still owe me three!
This went on and on until they were both kicked out, and almost beaten up for trying to sneak back in.
We went home and ate dunes.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
The Lithuanian Solution to Hangovers
This morning the dorm supervisor woke me up by barging into my room, as she has done to my roommate in the past. I responded by refusing to talk to her until she went out and knocked on my door like a civilized person. The result was that she just walked away.
Following this, Tomas, a coworker, woke up on my bed (I crashed on my couch) and said, "are you going to work?" Oh yeah, i said, in like twenty minutes! We gotta kill this whisky first, he said. OK. And we drank something else--stronger--on the walk to the bus. and we took the left over brandy with us.
At work, first of all, many people asked me about my health, more people than saw me drunk last night, so apperently I was in rare form.
About noon my desk-neighbor said "hey, i'm not into presents, so let's say merry christmas by having a little conjac." OK. "i'll get you back with some brandy a little later."
A little later was in an hour, when Tomas came into our office and asked, "hey, any brandy left?!" as if i drank the whole half liter during work in the morning. so we had a couple of drinks of that.
so by the time i go to my second lunch of the day, as I only do hungover, i was already not in good-judgement-mode. as always i ordered lunch with no drink, cause i bring my own to save money. they woman said "is that all," as always, but when i said yeah she said "really?" i said, "um, yeah, well, what?" "hangover?" she said (we drank together last night)? i replied, "yes, i'd love to feel like shit, can i have one order of 'hangover' please?" she laughed and said, "no, champpagne?" i said, "WHAT, YOU HAVE CHAMPAGNE BACK THERE? yeah, sure, ok."
she comes back with an empty glass and says, liquer, maybe? um, ok. and she pours me a glass, A G-L-A-S-S, of vodka, V-O-D-K-A! and this i drink with my second lunch, then go out for a ciggy piggy with the lunch ladies.
so, to recap: i woke up fucked, and before i even took a shower a coworker convinced me to have "just one drink," which turned into the rest of a bottle. including that, it's FOUR ocassions on which my coworkers gave a very hung over and still a little drunk Aras more booze to fix him up, including, a full glass of vodka.
And I'm only writing this at 3p.m. God help me.
Following this, Tomas, a coworker, woke up on my bed (I crashed on my couch) and said, "are you going to work?" Oh yeah, i said, in like twenty minutes! We gotta kill this whisky first, he said. OK. And we drank something else--stronger--on the walk to the bus. and we took the left over brandy with us.
At work, first of all, many people asked me about my health, more people than saw me drunk last night, so apperently I was in rare form.
About noon my desk-neighbor said "hey, i'm not into presents, so let's say merry christmas by having a little conjac." OK. "i'll get you back with some brandy a little later."
A little later was in an hour, when Tomas came into our office and asked, "hey, any brandy left?!" as if i drank the whole half liter during work in the morning. so we had a couple of drinks of that.
so by the time i go to my second lunch of the day, as I only do hungover, i was already not in good-judgement-mode. as always i ordered lunch with no drink, cause i bring my own to save money. they woman said "is that all," as always, but when i said yeah she said "really?" i said, "um, yeah, well, what?" "hangover?" she said (we drank together last night)? i replied, "yes, i'd love to feel like shit, can i have one order of 'hangover' please?" she laughed and said, "no, champpagne?" i said, "WHAT, YOU HAVE CHAMPAGNE BACK THERE? yeah, sure, ok."
she comes back with an empty glass and says, liquer, maybe? um, ok. and she pours me a glass, A G-L-A-S-S, of vodka, V-O-D-K-A! and this i drink with my second lunch, then go out for a ciggy piggy with the lunch ladies.
so, to recap: i woke up fucked, and before i even took a shower a coworker convinced me to have "just one drink," which turned into the rest of a bottle. including that, it's FOUR ocassions on which my coworkers gave a very hung over and still a little drunk Aras more booze to fix him up, including, a full glass of vodka.
And I'm only writing this at 3p.m. God help me.
A reply to darius after the night after finals
that's fujnny whaen i hit "reply all" cause i f\igure that srupid thing you wroted must have been for everydody, and then it's just you...you wrote that shit just for me? rthanks dud3 man!
p.s. and two equal age coworker were just talkin g about one said she went home a lttler earlier and one said "gal kai man bus tave amziaus..." it was wicked funnym cause i'm drunk, and just now thay ask me wat's in the moring, antras girtuokliavimas ar is naujo kvepavimas? i said, priklauso nuo prie atsikeli. i think that was very clever for two reasons: iu'm drunk; i woke up on my couch with a male coworker on my bed who made me drink the rest oprf thje whicky with hjim before we went tpo work!
"whaterver the fuck"--tony soprano
p.p.s. a coworker just came in and sai "kas cia tiek priserie?( who poured shit everywher3e?)" (it was codfffe) and about thirty seconds later i said "oh, um, I, well, I, when i moved that chair that is usually there, I, um, didn't realize it would hbe so hard."
From: "Darius Razgiukas" <drazgiukas@yahoo.com>
> SpongeBob CrazyPants Electric Spaz-Out Doll With Medication
p.s. and two equal age coworker were just talkin g about one said she went home a lttler earlier and one said "gal kai man bus tave amziaus..." it was wicked funnym cause i'm drunk, and just now thay ask me wat's in the moring, antras girtuokliavimas ar is naujo kvepavimas? i said, priklauso nuo prie atsikeli. i think that was very clever for two reasons: iu'm drunk; i woke up on my couch with a male coworker on my bed who made me drink the rest oprf thje whicky with hjim before we went tpo work!
"whaterver the fuck"--tony soprano
p.p.s. a coworker just came in and sai "kas cia tiek priserie?( who poured shit everywher3e?)" (it was codfffe) and about thirty seconds later i said "oh, um, I, well, I, when i moved that chair that is usually there, I, um, didn't realize it would hbe so hard."
From: "Darius Razgiukas" <drazgiukas@yahoo.com>
> SpongeBob CrazyPants Electric Spaz-Out Doll With Medication
My Chistmas Toast
last night was a teacher get-together after the last day of tests (exams, which are more serious (of which i have none) are after new years). there was some kind of thing where they said every second person of a different gender at the banquet table should say something, and if fell upon me. people were already kinda drunk, so not everyone was listening, and i was also a little drunk too, so i said "shh, just don't get everyone's attention (the director and dean were already listening--I was sitting next to them--and also at least ten other people). these past four months have been amazing. never did i imagine that i would find, so early in life, a place that is really a pleasure to work, not only because of my students, most of whom are wonderful, but because of you, my coworkers, all of whom are wonderful. thank you."
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
SMSes to myself this weekend
"Call Sim! What's up!? Let's do something,"
"Cedric said disnosaurs were assholes!"
"Cedric said disnosaurs were assholes!"
Thursday, December 16, 2004
New primitive language discovered in pedagogical kitchen
Last night after dinner Cedric burped loudly, and, as if on queue, I burped back equally loudly. He looked at me with eyebrows furrowed and said:
"...was it a dialogue?"
"...was it a dialogue?"
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
I made a gross of cookies
Over Thanksgiving break, after talking about my work with my mother, she recommended I bake cookies for my students to make sure they know my strictness doesn't mean I dislike them. I decided to take her advice.
I don't have chocolate chips, cause I gave them all to Juste and Neringa-Biz-Pak (they don't have them in Lithuania, so I brought them for the women I know, not thinking I might need them myself). So I had to find another types of cookie. It was not easy, actually. When I put "easy cookie recipe" into google without the terms brown-sugar (which I'd forgotten I have), chocolate-chip, fudge, and graham-cracker. I found a decent one in twnty minutes anyway:
CHOCOLATE COOKIES
1/2 C. vegetable oil
4 sq. unsweetened chocolate, melted
2 C. sugar4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
2 C. flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
Mix together oil, melted chocolate, and sugar. Blend in one egg at a time. Add vanilla and dry ingredients. Chill about 1hr.. maybe a little longer.
Shape into balls about the size of walnuts and roll into powdered sugar, place on cookie sheet, but nut too close together because they spread out. Bake at 350 for 10-2 min. Makes about 6 doz.
I tripled the recipe, hoping for 210 cookies for 111 students and maybe a score of coworkers. Better more than less. Which turned out to be wise, since tripling six dozen only yielded one gross...?
Anyway, it was totally hard cause i had to replace vanilla with vanilla sugar and guess what "4 squares" equals, and the batter barely fit into our largest mixing bowl, and stiring it with a wisk got harder and harder . also, i had to increase the cooking time
fuck. i wanted to look up a work in the dictionary so i right clicked and chose translate to english for fun to see what would happen. what happened was all my progress since last save was deleted, and i'm too tired to rewrite it. therefore, the conclusion of this story will be available on in next month's newsletter. if you don't get it email me, and if you can't wait that long call me.
I don't have chocolate chips, cause I gave them all to Juste and Neringa-Biz-Pak (they don't have them in Lithuania, so I brought them for the women I know, not thinking I might need them myself). So I had to find another types of cookie. It was not easy, actually. When I put "easy cookie recipe" into google without the terms brown-sugar (which I'd forgotten I have), chocolate-chip, fudge, and graham-cracker. I found a decent one in twnty minutes anyway:
CHOCOLATE COOKIES
1/2 C. vegetable oil
4 sq. unsweetened chocolate, melted
2 C. sugar4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
2 C. flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
Mix together oil, melted chocolate, and sugar. Blend in one egg at a time. Add vanilla and dry ingredients. Chill about 1hr.. maybe a little longer.
Shape into balls about the size of walnuts and roll into powdered sugar, place on cookie sheet, but nut too close together because they spread out. Bake at 350 for 10-2 min. Makes about 6 doz.
I tripled the recipe, hoping for 210 cookies for 111 students and maybe a score of coworkers. Better more than less. Which turned out to be wise, since tripling six dozen only yielded one gross...?
Anyway, it was totally hard cause i had to replace vanilla with vanilla sugar and guess what "4 squares" equals, and the batter barely fit into our largest mixing bowl, and stiring it with a wisk got harder and harder . also, i had to increase the cooking time
fuck. i wanted to look up a work in the dictionary so i right clicked and chose translate to english for fun to see what would happen. what happened was all my progress since last save was deleted, and i'm too tired to rewrite it. therefore, the conclusion of this story will be available on in next month's newsletter. if you don't get it email me, and if you can't wait that long call me.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Kugelis and the first time we went to meet somebody
So after three months we finally had plans to go meet some women Saturday. Milana is really into French, and she has some friends, Agne and Jurgita, so I came along too. Before this we made kugelis, which is an extremely Lithuanian potato with bacon casserole dish. It was long and hard, but turned out very well. It was especially hard because we don’t have a potato grating machine. And the potatoes have to be finely grated while raw. So we both ended up with grated thumbs and fingers. We have no measuring cups but for kugelis you don’t have to measure anything; my aunt laughed when I asked her about measurements. She said “you just put in as much as you want to eat.”
So we bought some nice wine and went to see them. It was also the first time we didn't purposefully pregame before leaving the dorm. It was fun. Agne was cute, and Jurgita was hot-hot (Cedric agreed, and he's bloody French; I don't know what I mean by that). They were all alot of fun, we chatted, drank the wine; they were drinking brand when we got there, and after the wine was gone we helped them polish that off. Then we were off to these girls' haunt, Kurpiai. It's a nice jazz bar which is well known throughout Lithuania and elsewhere in Europe even. It's the first bar I ever went to in Klaipeda this year, and that time it was full to the brim with sailors, who were throwing money around while in port. So I let them buy me beers.
This time was better. This band was playing that we'd heard in another bar in Vilnius the previous weekend, they were awesome. It was totally crowded though. And the bartender messed up our order. And waitresses kept bumping into us. And this older guy, probably a shameless American, was dancing in a fashion that caused his ass to bump into both mine and Cedric's in rhythm. We we like "wow, who's the homosexual?" I think he understood us because he stopped doing that. He was there again last night by the way.
Then we went to Prieplauka, which is more like a club. It's actually quite clublike: usually a cover and there's a coat room; large dance floor with booths at the walls; a second floor above the booths with tables but not covering the dance floor. It's "dec." There we drank alot of beer, played quarters upstairs (with various lithuanian coins; i left my quarters at home) and all danced alot, especially me and Agne.
And then we were tired. After successfully staying soberish for many hours the beers caught up with us: it was barf burp time! We left and the girls let us get into a cab first, possibly sense that we were drunk fucks in need of some rest. Between walking out of Prieplauka and getting home there were several barf burps, and I even reached for the window opener a couple times. That was funny.
In the morning I had received in my cell phone this messege from myself: "when my elbow fell off the table cedric rag are you ok?"
So we bought some nice wine and went to see them. It was also the first time we didn't purposefully pregame before leaving the dorm. It was fun. Agne was cute, and Jurgita was hot-hot (Cedric agreed, and he's bloody French; I don't know what I mean by that). They were all alot of fun, we chatted, drank the wine; they were drinking brand when we got there, and after the wine was gone we helped them polish that off. Then we were off to these girls' haunt, Kurpiai. It's a nice jazz bar which is well known throughout Lithuania and elsewhere in Europe even. It's the first bar I ever went to in Klaipeda this year, and that time it was full to the brim with sailors, who were throwing money around while in port. So I let them buy me beers.
This time was better. This band was playing that we'd heard in another bar in Vilnius the previous weekend, they were awesome. It was totally crowded though. And the bartender messed up our order. And waitresses kept bumping into us. And this older guy, probably a shameless American, was dancing in a fashion that caused his ass to bump into both mine and Cedric's in rhythm. We we like "wow, who's the homosexual?" I think he understood us because he stopped doing that. He was there again last night by the way.
Then we went to Prieplauka, which is more like a club. It's actually quite clublike: usually a cover and there's a coat room; large dance floor with booths at the walls; a second floor above the booths with tables but not covering the dance floor. It's "dec." There we drank alot of beer, played quarters upstairs (with various lithuanian coins; i left my quarters at home) and all danced alot, especially me and Agne.
And then we were tired. After successfully staying soberish for many hours the beers caught up with us: it was barf burp time! We left and the girls let us get into a cab first, possibly sense that we were drunk fucks in need of some rest. Between walking out of Prieplauka and getting home there were several barf burps, and I even reached for the window opener a couple times. That was funny.
In the morning I had received in my cell phone this messege from myself: "when my elbow fell off the table cedric rag are you ok?"
Monday, December 06, 2004
Friday Night...Hectic? I don't know.
Cedric and I make cheese burgers and freedom fries so we could try out our new Heinz Barbeque sauce. It was delicious. We played darts (real darts, not magnetic, which had cost us thirty lits at Hyper Maxima) and pregamed, then left at like, past ten or something and made the equivalnet of a redbull vodka for the road.
We met Saidas and Adis and a couple other dudes at Memelis. I was apprehensive about going, because it tends to be so crowded weekends that belligerance festers amoung people trying to dance but not really able to. We went anyway, and it turned out to be not bad. Maybe it's true what they say: "that place is so crowded, no one goes there anymore."
It was totally fun, we drank vodka tonics, and I danced so much I had to gulp down my cocktails during crappy songs just to keep pace with cedric. Two different girls touched my hair. I guess this bomb ass american hair wax pays off. I danced with one, who I think was drunk, cause her sun glasses kept falling off. The other was not good looking, Cedric called her "the one with the big nose."
On the way out Cedric started talking to a couple girls from Kaliningrad. It was interesting, cause we thought only Bombs and Nucear Waste live in Kaliningrad. Cedric disappeared and I shot the shit with them for a couple more minutes and gave them my phone number. And probably said something totally stupid like "if you wanna have some cake tomorrow give us a call." Plus I'm not sure if I spelled my name correctly since the shrift was cyrilic. It's supposed to look like: Apac
Then magically Cedric and Saidas were at Honolulu already, so I had to catch up. Then I had to buy a ten lit drink by myself (cause of the ten lit minimum), so I got a double vodka tonic. After an hour we decided it was beat and went home, and for once Saidas came with us, he usually stays all night.
Walking back this car stopped and the passanger opened the door. He started yelling something about the cops, and I was like, "what cops, where?" Then, before I had any idea what was going on, he had jumped out of the car, decked me with a right hook in the upper jaw, and jumped back into the car and sped away.
Cedric: Hey man, are you okay?
Me: Yeah.
Cedric: What the fuck was that about?
Me: I have no fuckin idea.
We met Saidas and Adis and a couple other dudes at Memelis. I was apprehensive about going, because it tends to be so crowded weekends that belligerance festers amoung people trying to dance but not really able to. We went anyway, and it turned out to be not bad. Maybe it's true what they say: "that place is so crowded, no one goes there anymore."
It was totally fun, we drank vodka tonics, and I danced so much I had to gulp down my cocktails during crappy songs just to keep pace with cedric. Two different girls touched my hair. I guess this bomb ass american hair wax pays off. I danced with one, who I think was drunk, cause her sun glasses kept falling off. The other was not good looking, Cedric called her "the one with the big nose."
On the way out Cedric started talking to a couple girls from Kaliningrad. It was interesting, cause we thought only Bombs and Nucear Waste live in Kaliningrad. Cedric disappeared and I shot the shit with them for a couple more minutes and gave them my phone number. And probably said something totally stupid like "if you wanna have some cake tomorrow give us a call." Plus I'm not sure if I spelled my name correctly since the shrift was cyrilic. It's supposed to look like: Apac
Then magically Cedric and Saidas were at Honolulu already, so I had to catch up. Then I had to buy a ten lit drink by myself (cause of the ten lit minimum), so I got a double vodka tonic. After an hour we decided it was beat and went home, and for once Saidas came with us, he usually stays all night.
Walking back this car stopped and the passanger opened the door. He started yelling something about the cops, and I was like, "what cops, where?" Then, before I had any idea what was going on, he had jumped out of the car, decked me with a right hook in the upper jaw, and jumped back into the car and sped away.
Cedric: Hey man, are you okay?
Me: Yeah.
Cedric: What the fuck was that about?
Me: I have no fuckin idea.
Student Erros Vol. 3 (From a Shopping Vocab Quiz)
"This slut looks good on you."
"My dress is baggy, I must to eat."
"My bed is very reasonable."
"I take tax to hammer, because she rock my good."
"Waiter, please give me a tax!"
"I bought a dog. It cost five litas. It was delicious."
Q: What might a date cost for the evening? What might you pay for?
A: "I think that reasnable price to pay all night on a date is big ice-cream."
A: "Milk, fruit, and vegetables."
A: "A hotel."
A: "Dinner, maybe condoms."
"My dress is baggy, I must to eat."
"My bed is very reasonable."
"I take tax to hammer, because she rock my good."
"Waiter, please give me a tax!"
"I bought a dog. It cost five litas. It was delicious."
Q: What might a date cost for the evening? What might you pay for?
A: "I think that reasnable price to pay all night on a date is big ice-cream."
A: "Milk, fruit, and vegetables."
A: "A hotel."
A: "Dinner, maybe condoms."
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Weakest...Bust...Ever!
Last night cedric and I were walking from Memelis (after Kurpiai) to Boogie Woogie, and having a beer on the way. I have heard many times that cops don't pay attention to drinking laws in KL, and I've been spotted by the fuzz before with no hassle. So I pay them no attention.
This time was different. These, apparently, were not pushover cops. The stopped us near the river, and sternly told us "you may not drink in public!" Ever anxious to avoid extended interaction with officials of the law, I said very politlely: "we're very sorry, we didn't know. we'll do whatever we're supposed to do--give it to you, dump it out on the ground, or what?"
after a bit of a stunned silence they replied: "well...no...just hide it for now and go drink it at home."
This time was different. These, apparently, were not pushover cops. The stopped us near the river, and sternly told us "you may not drink in public!" Ever anxious to avoid extended interaction with officials of the law, I said very politlely: "we're very sorry, we didn't know. we'll do whatever we're supposed to do--give it to you, dump it out on the ground, or what?"
after a bit of a stunned silence they replied: "well...no...just hide it for now and go drink it at home."
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
Thanksgiving Day (Saturday)
My mother had had Thanksgiving dinner with her friends Thursday before I could be there (it's not a holiday here) so Saturday we just had new stuffing and the rest leftovers: turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce, brusselsprouts, apple pie, and pumpkin cheese cake. It was totally delish.
We talked alot about my students and also about Ukraine. The problem with the students is that they have been raised to cheat and lie, which I will not allow. But, as this is something they are utterly unprepared for, I must be gentle about it. It's not easy.
The problem with Ukraine is fraudulent elections. The incumbent Russian-backed government not only rigged the election that just took place, they've also flown in Russian special forces in the name of peacekeeping, but who subsequently changed into Ukrainian uniforms so that their actions couldn't be traced back to Russia (so they're planning atrocities). And, that's not even all: "somebody's" been poisoning the opposition candidate (who is western minded and concerned with the future of Ukraine instead of the future of Russia).
This is a very intersting situation and I urge you to keep an eye out for it; it's in the new york times every day.
We talked alot about my students and also about Ukraine. The problem with the students is that they have been raised to cheat and lie, which I will not allow. But, as this is something they are utterly unprepared for, I must be gentle about it. It's not easy.
The problem with Ukraine is fraudulent elections. The incumbent Russian-backed government not only rigged the election that just took place, they've also flown in Russian special forces in the name of peacekeeping, but who subsequently changed into Ukrainian uniforms so that their actions couldn't be traced back to Russia (so they're planning atrocities). And, that's not even all: "somebody's" been poisoning the opposition candidate (who is western minded and concerned with the future of Ukraine instead of the future of Russia).
This is a very intersting situation and I urge you to keep an eye out for it; it's in the new york times every day.
Thanksgiving Weekend: Friday
I went to Vilnius to have Thanksgiving with my mother.
First, though, Cedric and I went out Friday night with two beauties--Juste and Simona--to a funk concert at Artistai. It was packed. The only reason we were able to get in was because ther were holding seats for us.
The music was good, but there was no room to dance. I went out to dance a few times anyway with Simona and once with Juste.
Cedric and I had one or two or six gin and tonics each. This led to three dumb things happening.
--A mix up about bills that was Cedric's fault with his imperfect English, but which made me look like an asshole cause I was the one translating his mistakes to the waitress.
--Once she brought the girls their drinks and I said with mock indignation "what about us?!" Then I looked down and saw that she had brought our drinks several minutes ago, I had mixed them myself, and already started drinking mine.
--Cedric blacked out during a conversation with Simona--who was really quite stunningly pretty--which lasted over an hour and gave me the impression that they were becoming more than friends. As it turns out, he is unable to confirm or disconfirm this impression, having no recollection of the end of the concert nor of the next bar we went to.
And then something happened that made me think: "Only in Vilnius!" I saw across the floor in the middle of the concert (It took us five minutes to cross fifteen feet towards each other) a friends from VU whom I had not seen in three years. We immediatly recognized each other and went to greet each other. Last I had seen Erin, he had disappeared without a trace for over six months and Koon was left to explain to their land lord that he has no fuckin clue where his tenent is. He's doing well now though (Erin, not Koon; well, Koon too), and I'm about to email him.
First, though, Cedric and I went out Friday night with two beauties--Juste and Simona--to a funk concert at Artistai. It was packed. The only reason we were able to get in was because ther were holding seats for us.
The music was good, but there was no room to dance. I went out to dance a few times anyway with Simona and once with Juste.
Cedric and I had one or two or six gin and tonics each. This led to three dumb things happening.
--A mix up about bills that was Cedric's fault with his imperfect English, but which made me look like an asshole cause I was the one translating his mistakes to the waitress.
--Once she brought the girls their drinks and I said with mock indignation "what about us?!" Then I looked down and saw that she had brought our drinks several minutes ago, I had mixed them myself, and already started drinking mine.
--Cedric blacked out during a conversation with Simona--who was really quite stunningly pretty--which lasted over an hour and gave me the impression that they were becoming more than friends. As it turns out, he is unable to confirm or disconfirm this impression, having no recollection of the end of the concert nor of the next bar we went to.
And then something happened that made me think: "Only in Vilnius!" I saw across the floor in the middle of the concert (It took us five minutes to cross fifteen feet towards each other) a friends from VU whom I had not seen in three years. We immediatly recognized each other and went to greet each other. Last I had seen Erin, he had disappeared without a trace for over six months and Koon was left to explain to their land lord that he has no fuckin clue where his tenent is. He's doing well now though (Erin, not Koon; well, Koon too), and I'm about to email him.
Friday, November 26, 2004
Um, Cedric...Is This Gay Night?!
Having gone out Wednesday and gone home after one beer (well, and three at home first), we decided to do something unusual: go out Thursday night. We couldn't drink beer again, and we don't drink hard liquer on weeknights (or week days), so it was wine time. Wine is friggin expensive in LT though, so we decided to make some kind of french wine cocktail: cheap-ass wine and lemonade. It was actaully quite good, just hard to stomach in large quantities.
We went to Honolulu, despite a warning from Jurgis that it would be dead. It was far from it: lots of people, almost as many as on the weekend. There were several of the same people there that were there last Friday when Gedas, Donatas and I went, including a stundent, Beautiful Lesbian and some of her lesbian friends. Then I saw the gay hair stylist we'd talked to once and some other gay men with him. Then I looked around...
"Um, Cedric...do you notice anything out of the ordinary?"
"Yeah there's alot of homosexuals here!"
I don't think it's official, because it was about 40% hetero, but there were at least 30 gay people there, men and women. This is in a country where just six years ago they didn't believe in homosexuality--as in, they thought it was just a creation of Hollywood. I had told Gedas and Domas Vysniauskas about the gay student body at Wesleyan and they thought I was crazy.
It was fun though. I realized why they got the name "gay": "Showing or characterized by cheerfulness and lighthearted excitement; merry. " (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gay)
Beautiful Lesbian did a double take and noticed me, smiled, and came over and danced with me for a song. She a very fun dancer, but there was this other lesbian who totally knocked my socks off. This girl moved in ways that seemed impossible, with so much zest that it was actually intimidating.
So it was tons of fun, even though the staight hotties were few and far between. Also I met a drunk ass Swede named Magnum. How great is that for a name? I gotta name a kid that...
P.S. One of the gay guys totally looked like Derek Pearlman, whose surname I couldn't remember last night, I just kept thinking Jeter, Derek Jeter...
We left at one thirty, and on the way I noticed Beautiful Lesbian getting something out of her coat and going to sit by the window as I walked out the door. I made a point of looking through the window as I walked by it till we made eye contact and I waved Goodbye. She waved too. And smiled.
At home we had a night cap, I won a game of Buck Euchre, and we argued for a while about whether sexuality is black and white (Cedric) or if there is gray area (I) between homo-, bi-, and heterosexuality.
We went to Honolulu, despite a warning from Jurgis that it would be dead. It was far from it: lots of people, almost as many as on the weekend. There were several of the same people there that were there last Friday when Gedas, Donatas and I went, including a stundent, Beautiful Lesbian and some of her lesbian friends. Then I saw the gay hair stylist we'd talked to once and some other gay men with him. Then I looked around...
"Um, Cedric...do you notice anything out of the ordinary?"
"Yeah there's alot of homosexuals here!"
I don't think it's official, because it was about 40% hetero, but there were at least 30 gay people there, men and women. This is in a country where just six years ago they didn't believe in homosexuality--as in, they thought it was just a creation of Hollywood. I had told Gedas and Domas Vysniauskas about the gay student body at Wesleyan and they thought I was crazy.
It was fun though. I realized why they got the name "gay": "Showing or characterized by cheerfulness and lighthearted excitement; merry. " (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gay)
Beautiful Lesbian did a double take and noticed me, smiled, and came over and danced with me for a song. She a very fun dancer, but there was this other lesbian who totally knocked my socks off. This girl moved in ways that seemed impossible, with so much zest that it was actually intimidating.
So it was tons of fun, even though the staight hotties were few and far between. Also I met a drunk ass Swede named Magnum. How great is that for a name? I gotta name a kid that...
P.S. One of the gay guys totally looked like Derek Pearlman, whose surname I couldn't remember last night, I just kept thinking Jeter, Derek Jeter...
We left at one thirty, and on the way I noticed Beautiful Lesbian getting something out of her coat and going to sit by the window as I walked out the door. I made a point of looking through the window as I walked by it till we made eye contact and I waved Goodbye. She waved too. And smiled.
At home we had a night cap, I won a game of Buck Euchre, and we argued for a while about whether sexuality is black and white (Cedric) or if there is gray area (I) between homo-, bi-, and heterosexuality.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
A Miracle!
Yesterday on the way home from college I left my hat in the microbus before meeting Cedric at Iki for our daily grocery shopping. We spent alot of money this time--46 lits--because we bought several sauces that last a long time: tobasco, soy, and bbq. And the dinner plan was tomato soup and chicken club sandwiches; chicken and bacon are both expensive.
Leaving Iki I told Cedric about my hat when I saw him put his on. We talked about how in Vilnius it would be impossible, but maybe in Klaipeda, because it's smaller, it might be possible to get it back. But I had no idea how to call up the central place, and we knew that tomorrow would be too late. The only possible way I would see my hat again is if that same microbus had reached its destination, turned around for another lap, and drove by us on our short walk home.
Low and behold, there she was. I flagged her down, stepped in and said, "excuse me, I don't suppuse you found a black hat with white stripes right down there...?" He went back and got it out of a secret storage compartment for me.
Not only did I cross paths with the same microbus again twenty minutes later, but someone--in Lithuania!--had been honest enough not to keep it, and then he had been honest enough to give it back to me!
That's what I call a miracle. I need to get two more to be a saint, right?
Leaving Iki I told Cedric about my hat when I saw him put his on. We talked about how in Vilnius it would be impossible, but maybe in Klaipeda, because it's smaller, it might be possible to get it back. But I had no idea how to call up the central place, and we knew that tomorrow would be too late. The only possible way I would see my hat again is if that same microbus had reached its destination, turned around for another lap, and drove by us on our short walk home.
Low and behold, there she was. I flagged her down, stepped in and said, "excuse me, I don't suppuse you found a black hat with white stripes right down there...?" He went back and got it out of a secret storage compartment for me.
Not only did I cross paths with the same microbus again twenty minutes later, but someone--in Lithuania!--had been honest enough not to keep it, and then he had been honest enough to give it back to me!
That's what I call a miracle. I need to get two more to be a saint, right?
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Feeling smarter...or so I thought
By Wednesday I was feeling remarkably better, as if I haven't drank since Saturday, which is true except for a couple glasses of wine last night. I went into one of my ESL classes and asked them about their homework, an assignment listing a few things they want to learn to talk about in English. One of the students replied "leisure time." I replied that I ask them about leisure time every Monday: "How was your weekend, what did you do, where did you go?" He said that most students are too lazy to volunteer to chat. I replied, "So? Let them be silent and let's talk about your fuckin' weekend." After a still moment--I don't know who was more shocked, they or I--with my head down and a hand over my eyes, "I'm sorry. I...don't know what I was thinking...just...sorry...nothing personal, really...I didn't mean anything by that!" And someone spoke up, "don't worry about it, we know everybody talks like that!"
Is that what's called a "brain-fart?" I've never been exactly clear on that term...
Is that what's called a "brain-fart?" I've never been exactly clear on that term...
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
And there was Saturday for a little while...
Saturday Donatas left and Juste arrived. And Cedric came back from Vilnius after having had a half liter of vodka for breakfast because he woke up first and was bored (WHAT?!?!). We had a few beers when cedric got home. When they were gone we threw darts for who would go pick up the second round from the corner store--one throw each (gedas threw twice)--and Cedric lost, so he had to go back again. He was lucky to hit the board though, he sucks at darts. Then we talked about time travel for a while. Cedric admitted that I made an excellent argument for its impossibility, barring the credibility of "back to the future," and Gedas just got pissed off about a topic that couldn't be proven without using philosophy. then we left to go get food. To eat we went to a bar called "Gedas is a Fucken Fountain of Knowledge and Can't Help Me Write Anything." The food was good and cheap--ten lits for a pork schnitzel, which I just realized is what I ate the night before also. But the waitress had no idea what was going on with the menu. "What does that mean 'American' spare ribs," I asked. Her response was "the hell do I know?!" But she was friendly/funny enough about it that I still tipped her. The food was totally good. And the bathroom was awesome. They had the sound of ocean waves playing and the whole place was lit with florecent green lights! Trippy...
On the way to meet Juste at the bus station we stopped at Onyx to say "hi" to Rita and Saidas and Jurgis, but they weren't there. So we said "hi" to the waitstaff who recognized me and Cedric as regulars and walked right out the door.
Also on the way to meet Juste we stopped at the same shop Cedric and I bought beers at last Wednesday. This time we bought, per Gedo suggestion, "something stronger." As per my suggestion it was gin. Also we bought tonic, and I dumped out one third (which angered Gedas) to make room to dump in the gin. Hey man, gin isn't to be glugged with a chaser; gin is for excellent cocktails, like martinis and such. Also gin & tonics. Whether we drink them out of fine glasses or a big plastic bottle for three guys walking down the street doesn't diminish the importance of this rule.
We were waiting for Juste at the station and she called me to say she was there too. Where? Outside. So I went outside and screamed at the tip top of my lungs "JUSTE!? JUSTE!? JUSTE!?" while walking around the building. I found her after three times and gave her some cocktail.
We went to a place I call "1994." I call it that cause that's when it was built and I don't know the actual name of the place. It was closed though. It was sad, cause I never been there and I wanted to see what it was like. I guess it's like one of those places that closes at 11pm.
Then we went to Boogie Woogie. We ordered gin & tonics, and again the waitress was clueless. This time she was not friendly at all, and was even indignant when we asked her to find out the price before we orded--no tip, which is a tip in itself: be friendier! Cedric twice ordered cooked black breadsticks with cheese, a typical hors d'oeuvre in Lithuania, especially with beer. His pronounciation was atypical however: both times he turned "keptos duonos su suriu" into "kepta duona shu shuriu!" Totally funny for the native Lithuanians and me.
After a while, for some reason Gedas shook out a little salt into everybody's drinks except his own. I decided to go into the revenge business. I took the pepper shaker when nobody was looking. I waited for the perfect moment when Gedas wasn't paying attention to hi cocktail. Then, vengence was mine: I leaned over and dumped not only ALL the pepper into his drink, but the pepper shaker as well. Then I ran away to the bathroom laughing hysterically. When I came back he said I owed him a drink, so I gave him mine and drank his. It was totally drinkable, just like Pepper Smirnoff Gin.
So I hope you've all learned a valuble lesson: an entire pepper shaker's worth of pepper is a perfectly cromulent ingredient in a gin & tonic!
On the way to meet Juste at the bus station we stopped at Onyx to say "hi" to Rita and Saidas and Jurgis, but they weren't there. So we said "hi" to the waitstaff who recognized me and Cedric as regulars and walked right out the door.
Also on the way to meet Juste we stopped at the same shop Cedric and I bought beers at last Wednesday. This time we bought, per Gedo suggestion, "something stronger." As per my suggestion it was gin. Also we bought tonic, and I dumped out one third (which angered Gedas) to make room to dump in the gin. Hey man, gin isn't to be glugged with a chaser; gin is for excellent cocktails, like martinis and such. Also gin & tonics. Whether we drink them out of fine glasses or a big plastic bottle for three guys walking down the street doesn't diminish the importance of this rule.
We were waiting for Juste at the station and she called me to say she was there too. Where? Outside. So I went outside and screamed at the tip top of my lungs "JUSTE!? JUSTE!? JUSTE!?" while walking around the building. I found her after three times and gave her some cocktail.
We went to a place I call "1994." I call it that cause that's when it was built and I don't know the actual name of the place. It was closed though. It was sad, cause I never been there and I wanted to see what it was like. I guess it's like one of those places that closes at 11pm.
Then we went to Boogie Woogie. We ordered gin & tonics, and again the waitress was clueless. This time she was not friendly at all, and was even indignant when we asked her to find out the price before we orded--no tip, which is a tip in itself: be friendier! Cedric twice ordered cooked black breadsticks with cheese, a typical hors d'oeuvre in Lithuania, especially with beer. His pronounciation was atypical however: both times he turned "keptos duonos su suriu" into "kepta duona shu shuriu!" Totally funny for the native Lithuanians and me.
After a while, for some reason Gedas shook out a little salt into everybody's drinks except his own. I decided to go into the revenge business. I took the pepper shaker when nobody was looking. I waited for the perfect moment when Gedas wasn't paying attention to hi cocktail. Then, vengence was mine: I leaned over and dumped not only ALL the pepper into his drink, but the pepper shaker as well. Then I ran away to the bathroom laughing hysterically. When I came back he said I owed him a drink, so I gave him mine and drank his. It was totally drinkable, just like Pepper Smirnoff Gin.
So I hope you've all learned a valuble lesson: an entire pepper shaker's worth of pepper is a perfectly cromulent ingredient in a gin & tonic!
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Feeling stupid
Man, i feel like a pile of crap. Did you know that the only natural enemy of "a hole" is "a pile?" I am indeed that enemy. Holes beware!
Gedas and Donatas came up Friday, and after pork chops, salad, freedom fries, and beer, we played darts and drank vodka tonics. Cedric and I had bought this great dart board at maxima for five lits. the darts are magnetic insead of sharp, and they constantly slide down the board making the game "more challenging (not more stupider)." Then we went to onyx for more vodka tonics, and then to Honolulu.
I got the first round. I tried to explain that I wanted two vodka tonics but that one bottle of tonic would suffice. As a result I got two double vodkas and one tonic. And a beer for Donatas.
They totally fell in love with Honolulu. They called it a "fifa club." A fifa is a women who gets all decked out with high heels and done up hair and make up and other kinds of flashiness. Also, there were like fourteen lesbians there (odd), and most of them where somewhere between hot-hot and drop dead gorgeous. I danced with one of the drop dead ones for a while (I think she danced with every good looking person in the club--men and women).
And I realized something about lesbians. Dancing with them is awesome. Not only do they dance with a distinct allure (you want what you know you can't have), but there is also an added thrill of them wanting to dance with you. Possibly just to tease you. Let's assume it's not just that. Even if it is it's still fun. But let's say it's not. Heterosexual women want to dance with me for two reasons: they like how I dance; they want to get it on with me. If they want to get it on with me that's super, but I think them liking how I dance is an even bigger compliment. And a lesbian would not dance with me for the first reason (At least I have not been so lucky...yet). So dancing with a beautiful lesbian for even two minutes is quite a thrill.
There was something else i discovered about life friday night. if i remember what it is i'll post another post. Also, we bought more vodka on the way home. And then we totally imbibed it!
Gedas and Donatas came up Friday, and after pork chops, salad, freedom fries, and beer, we played darts and drank vodka tonics. Cedric and I had bought this great dart board at maxima for five lits. the darts are magnetic insead of sharp, and they constantly slide down the board making the game "more challenging (not more stupider)." Then we went to onyx for more vodka tonics, and then to Honolulu.
I got the first round. I tried to explain that I wanted two vodka tonics but that one bottle of tonic would suffice. As a result I got two double vodkas and one tonic. And a beer for Donatas.
They totally fell in love with Honolulu. They called it a "fifa club." A fifa is a women who gets all decked out with high heels and done up hair and make up and other kinds of flashiness. Also, there were like fourteen lesbians there (odd), and most of them where somewhere between hot-hot and drop dead gorgeous. I danced with one of the drop dead ones for a while (I think she danced with every good looking person in the club--men and women).
And I realized something about lesbians. Dancing with them is awesome. Not only do they dance with a distinct allure (you want what you know you can't have), but there is also an added thrill of them wanting to dance with you. Possibly just to tease you. Let's assume it's not just that. Even if it is it's still fun. But let's say it's not. Heterosexual women want to dance with me for two reasons: they like how I dance; they want to get it on with me. If they want to get it on with me that's super, but I think them liking how I dance is an even bigger compliment. And a lesbian would not dance with me for the first reason (At least I have not been so lucky...yet). So dancing with a beautiful lesbian for even two minutes is quite a thrill.
There was something else i discovered about life friday night. if i remember what it is i'll post another post. Also, we bought more vodka on the way home. And then we totally imbibed it!
Thursday, November 18, 2004
The end of Student Month
So that's why all the students left at noon yesterday, though with no activities planned, just "Go Home Early Day." I spent the afternoon catching up on correcting papers.
I also took papers home to correct, which I did after eating cedric's quiche with ham and cheese inside whilst having a beer and screaming along with the radio and banging on my desk with my fists (I was excited about hump day).
It was supposed to be a regular hump day, go out around ten, be back by one. alas, it was not so. we left at only 11, and after a while of beer and dancing at Memelis we were ready for anything.
An older man, quite stout in the stomach region, got up from the table next to us and started taking off his sport coat, preparing to hit the dance floor, when suddenly instead he hit the regular floor with his face. taking his coat off was too much for this drunk bastard; he almost had it, but right at the end he toppled over, taking two chairs and an adjacent table with him.
the efficiency of the waitress was remarkable. with exactly zero hesitation she sprinted down the stairs to get a couple guards. the guy was still on the floor when they arrived. he could not get up at all. his buddies had given 20 lits to the guys at the other table to pay for their drinks. the guards dragged him out while he argued some surely ridiculous point, one of his friends helping him argue and trying to call somebody for assistance. it was quite exciting.
more dancing, and cedric talked to a french teacher from KL University. the guy told him that because of student day the place to be tonight was global, a club we'd never been to but had intended on visiting. we were drunk enough to make the trip.
first, though, we had to finish our beers. and one last good song came on, so i got up to dance, and so did cedric--or tried to anyway. as he got up he put so much weight on the table that it tipped over taking him and our beers with it. being the close friend that i am, i pretended not to know him. i kept an eye out in case he needed an interpriter, but he cleaned things up fast enough that nobody bothered him.
we walked to global (20 minutes or so) and had a beer on the way. we talked about various things that to me were totally funny and to him were totally disgusting but sort of funny at the same time.
global was good. ten lits to get in (five for students), but the beer was only five lits, with is good for a club. there were two dance halls, one playing techno and the other paying pop, like M1 style. rather crowded though, but not so much that it sucked.
we danced alot and *almost* picked up women a couple times. since i enjoy dancing all by itself that's okay. we drank several more beers, turned into inebriates, and left unknowingly about to behold the most beautiful thing possible: it was snowing!
we couldn't believe it, it was gorgeous, it was grand. i shouted about it all the way down janonio gatve. i think several people we passed recognized us as winos, but this did not diminish our fantastic mood. this was only the third time in cedrics life that he had seen snow.
we got in a minibus that took us only to the end of our street, leaving us half a kilometer to walk. the snow was still beautiful, but now it was cold and combersome (if you're drunk) to walk though. so for this entire walk home i tried hailing several cabs to drive us to the end of the block, but none stopped.
finally hit the sack at 3:45. My alarm went off at 7:00, and now it was my turn to knock something over. in my hast to turn it off, i tumbled over a chair doing a summersault while holding the chair. i laid on of the ground for a bit, unable to comprehend what was going on.
but i made it to work on time-ish.
I also took papers home to correct, which I did after eating cedric's quiche with ham and cheese inside whilst having a beer and screaming along with the radio and banging on my desk with my fists (I was excited about hump day).
It was supposed to be a regular hump day, go out around ten, be back by one. alas, it was not so. we left at only 11, and after a while of beer and dancing at Memelis we were ready for anything.
An older man, quite stout in the stomach region, got up from the table next to us and started taking off his sport coat, preparing to hit the dance floor, when suddenly instead he hit the regular floor with his face. taking his coat off was too much for this drunk bastard; he almost had it, but right at the end he toppled over, taking two chairs and an adjacent table with him.
the efficiency of the waitress was remarkable. with exactly zero hesitation she sprinted down the stairs to get a couple guards. the guy was still on the floor when they arrived. he could not get up at all. his buddies had given 20 lits to the guys at the other table to pay for their drinks. the guards dragged him out while he argued some surely ridiculous point, one of his friends helping him argue and trying to call somebody for assistance. it was quite exciting.
more dancing, and cedric talked to a french teacher from KL University. the guy told him that because of student day the place to be tonight was global, a club we'd never been to but had intended on visiting. we were drunk enough to make the trip.
first, though, we had to finish our beers. and one last good song came on, so i got up to dance, and so did cedric--or tried to anyway. as he got up he put so much weight on the table that it tipped over taking him and our beers with it. being the close friend that i am, i pretended not to know him. i kept an eye out in case he needed an interpriter, but he cleaned things up fast enough that nobody bothered him.
we walked to global (20 minutes or so) and had a beer on the way. we talked about various things that to me were totally funny and to him were totally disgusting but sort of funny at the same time.
global was good. ten lits to get in (five for students), but the beer was only five lits, with is good for a club. there were two dance halls, one playing techno and the other paying pop, like M1 style. rather crowded though, but not so much that it sucked.
we danced alot and *almost* picked up women a couple times. since i enjoy dancing all by itself that's okay. we drank several more beers, turned into inebriates, and left unknowingly about to behold the most beautiful thing possible: it was snowing!
we couldn't believe it, it was gorgeous, it was grand. i shouted about it all the way down janonio gatve. i think several people we passed recognized us as winos, but this did not diminish our fantastic mood. this was only the third time in cedrics life that he had seen snow.
we got in a minibus that took us only to the end of our street, leaving us half a kilometer to walk. the snow was still beautiful, but now it was cold and combersome (if you're drunk) to walk though. so for this entire walk home i tried hailing several cabs to drive us to the end of the block, but none stopped.
finally hit the sack at 3:45. My alarm went off at 7:00, and now it was my turn to knock something over. in my hast to turn it off, i tumbled over a chair doing a summersault while holding the chair. i laid on of the ground for a bit, unable to comprehend what was going on.
but i made it to work on time-ish.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Some kind of holiday...and a Lithaunian Oddity...and a bitter sweet dream
This morning I tried to wake up at six to get an hour of correcting papers in before coming to work. It didn't work, as I'm a bit under the weather. I got up at seven instead and came to work and started correcting papers here and preparing material for class. I don't have classses utnil 11:40 on Wednesdays, but I always come in 8:30-9 for projects and class prep. After correcting papers, preparing a lecture on early 20th century American literature, and preparing an activity about scandals for three hours in a tremendous rush, a student came in to see me at 11:38. "Hey, did you know there's no classes after 12 today?"
"What?!"
"Yeah, students' holiday."
After checking to make sure a fool wasn't being made of me, I let her go with instructions to pick up a homework assignment tomorrow, then ran around the building finding all my other classes and giving them homework worksheets that I'd made up in those two minutes--a Christmas crossword puzzle and a Christmas word jumble.
And another thing! It keeps astounding me every day. Taking a microbus here costs 1.50LTL. they drive the same routes as buses, but stop to pick you up/let you out wherever you want. Also they're much more comfortable, and often play decent music, albeit quitely. But they funny thing is you don't have to pay as you board. You can sit down anywhere and ask people to pass your money up for you. Not only do they all do it, but the driver reaches back to take the money, and makes change for you and passes that back, after printing a receipt, while driving the bus!!!
And I had this dream last night. I was walking somewhere. It was crowded, and i had had one beer. I saw and started walking next to one of my cuter students, chatting friendlily (that's a real word). After brushing her hand against mine while walking a few times, we were holding hands. it was a bit loud, so we sort of had to lean in to talk to each other. somehow our lips occasionally brushed against each other, while talking (and still walking!), and eventually we kissed. I immediatly thought of Gedas, because he always tries to convince me that it is, in fact, okay to demand sex from my students, my position being that even consensual sex is unfortunately inappropriate. So either against my will or simply against my better judgement we kept walking, talking, holding hands and kissing, but now I was constantly scanning the crowd, making sure there aren't any other students there who might see us. Then we did see one sitting at a table with some other people and we had to sit down for a beer with them; I couldn't very well say out loud "no, we'd rather go somewhere where nobody will see us." so we sat down and ordered beers. after one sip of beer i was totally shitfaced (miraculously) and started yelling about whatever came into my head. she was squeezing my leg and stepping on my foot under the table in vain. i started pouring the sugar from the sugar bowl into my mouth, eating it all, which is odd cause i never eat sugar. when the sugar was gone, i started eating ground coffee.
"What?!"
"Yeah, students' holiday."
After checking to make sure a fool wasn't being made of me, I let her go with instructions to pick up a homework assignment tomorrow, then ran around the building finding all my other classes and giving them homework worksheets that I'd made up in those two minutes--a Christmas crossword puzzle and a Christmas word jumble.
And another thing! It keeps astounding me every day. Taking a microbus here costs 1.50LTL. they drive the same routes as buses, but stop to pick you up/let you out wherever you want. Also they're much more comfortable, and often play decent music, albeit quitely. But they funny thing is you don't have to pay as you board. You can sit down anywhere and ask people to pass your money up for you. Not only do they all do it, but the driver reaches back to take the money, and makes change for you and passes that back, after printing a receipt, while driving the bus!!!
And I had this dream last night. I was walking somewhere. It was crowded, and i had had one beer. I saw and started walking next to one of my cuter students, chatting friendlily (that's a real word). After brushing her hand against mine while walking a few times, we were holding hands. it was a bit loud, so we sort of had to lean in to talk to each other. somehow our lips occasionally brushed against each other, while talking (and still walking!), and eventually we kissed. I immediatly thought of Gedas, because he always tries to convince me that it is, in fact, okay to demand sex from my students, my position being that even consensual sex is unfortunately inappropriate. So either against my will or simply against my better judgement we kept walking, talking, holding hands and kissing, but now I was constantly scanning the crowd, making sure there aren't any other students there who might see us. Then we did see one sitting at a table with some other people and we had to sit down for a beer with them; I couldn't very well say out loud "no, we'd rather go somewhere where nobody will see us." so we sat down and ordered beers. after one sip of beer i was totally shitfaced (miraculously) and started yelling about whatever came into my head. she was squeezing my leg and stepping on my foot under the table in vain. i started pouring the sugar from the sugar bowl into my mouth, eating it all, which is odd cause i never eat sugar. when the sugar was gone, i started eating ground coffee.
Friday, November 12, 2004
This morning's tease
When I heard my alarm clock go off this morning, I thought, "what does that mean? it seems to be signaling something.....wait.....i know! it must be my birthday! hooray, yeah yeah woohoo!!! oh.....shit.....it's not my birthday.....it's nowhere near my birthday.....that horrible, wretched noise is signaling me to get my ass to work....."
Friday, October 29, 2004
A Late Night Diary Entry
Real Life
10/22/04
One of the best nights of my life. As most of you know, I love to be a "cheatee." Tonight, at Honolulu, for many many songs I danced with an extremely beautiful woman who, every other minute, had to hide out passion from her boyfriend's friends. She was point blank amazing. Kristina left, due to many smses from him, but then came back, not being able to resist me! As she finally did leave, I asked her if she remembered my name, and she said "Aras."
10/22/04
One of the best nights of my life. As most of you know, I love to be a "cheatee." Tonight, at Honolulu, for many many songs I danced with an extremely beautiful woman who, every other minute, had to hide out passion from her boyfriend's friends. She was point blank amazing. Kristina left, due to many smses from him, but then came back, not being able to resist me! As she finally did leave, I asked her if she remembered my name, and she said "Aras."
Thursday, October 28, 2004
An excellent response.....
Yesterday I asked my third years: "does anybody know what anarchy is?"
One of my brightest, most serious students in a 100% female class replied: "When women are in government."
One of my brightest, most serious students in a 100% female class replied: "When women are in government."
Monday, October 18, 2004
Palanga in October
Friday at work Rastenis called me up and said "pack your bags, we're going to Palanga!"
Palanga is a beach town, extremely crowded (in a good way) by young people throughout the summer, especially in July, with old people coming at the beginning and end of summer. It has gorgeous beaches, old fashioned streets (except for Basinaviciaus, now ruined by florescent yellow lamps), and 95% of the building look like they're two hundred years old.
Now it's cold, so almost nobody goes to the beach. Palanga still has visitors, but they go there mostly to relax, get away from the city, hit the saunas, or drink yourself retarded...
Friday night was too stupid to talk about...
Saturday night was ridiculously amazing. After walking around the town and beaches with Cedric, and then with Rastenis, we all took naps. I got up at 4:40 with a hottie singing sexy songs into my ear, a mate's girlfriend... I went to church (nobody believed me), and on my way back met Neringa and Rastenis on their way to a bar, told them I would catch up. Back at the house the rest of the crew was all drunk already. Shower, shave, shots with them, and I'm off to meet those two and then to drink on the beach--both they and I had brought a bottle of vodka for the occasion.
Coincidentally, Juste, Simona, and Lina were up in Palanga too, so they joined us. Drinking on the beach, and then all to a club--Fortas.
Here comes the ridiculousness:
Contest. Don't know what's going on. Four teams of six, including me, get on the dance floor and they tell us to make a rope out of our clothing. so we all start stripping, me down to my boxers, tying everything together. Our team's rope included to bras. The DJ says, "okay, now everybody who is approaching nudity get on stage." I comply without question. There are about twenty of us, have naked as I, half still with pants. Then the DJ says, "dance contest!" Music begins, and we all start dancing. I noticed that the few friends of mine up there and I were all inching towards the front of the stage. The music stopped, and the winners were, third place, a stranger, second place, a friend of mine, Zygis, and first place, a drunk, topless, still slightly chubby American--this guy. A free pass to Zemaityjos Movie Theater.
After another half hour of drinking and dancing, there was another contest. Simona didn't want to join me because of stage fright, so, acting as her psychologist-dictator, I carried her up onto the stage with me. There were eight people up there, and this time it was not a group effort, but individual performances. Each person had to put clogs onto his feet and hands, they played a song, you starting dancing and tapping out the beat, music stops, you keep going for a minute. Simona and I agreed that we would go up together, but when I told the DJ this, he just shoved her up front alone and told everybody to give the shy girl a big round of applause. She did quite well, and told me afterwards that she did, indeed, have fun. Then it was I, last, the glorious rock star I believed myself to be, now wearing cargo khakis and a wife beater, strutting my indisputably marvelous stuff. Second place goes to, a female stranger, and first place, guess who...me. The DJ says in Lithuanian, through a slightly staticky mic, "but if you're a real gentleman, you'll give the ticket to this lovely runner up." Too drunk to understand his Lugan through the mic, I bowed to the crowd and put it in my pocket, laughing all the while.
More dancing, more drinking, another contest. This time it's with a partner, so Rastenis and I go up. Here it is: one guy on one side of the stage holding his pants (and underwear) open to form a basketball hoop, and the otherguy on the otherside tossing ice cubes in. Rastenis, being an excellent basketball player, tossed, while I held my junk open to frozen bombardment. Needless to say, we won with 6/6 shots, and this time we got a gift certificate for 100 lits to a stereo equipment store in Kaunas.
The last one was only for girls. Neringa went up, and as soon as we heard what they had to do, we had to hold Rastenis back: the girls each had to do an erotic dance for a potential employer, in order to get the job. As each girl came out and started dancing, the crowd starting screaming "Nusirenk! Nusirenk! Nusirenk! (Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!)!" Half the girls got down to their bras, and Neringa totally won, with the most cheering, especially from me ;), and the sexiest dancing by far. Then they played another song for her, but she didn't want to dance for the crowd, so drunken Dalia went up to dance with her, the drunken Joncikas went up to dance with Dalia, and we started yelling "Nusirenk! Nusirenk! Nusirenk! (Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!)" to both of them. Dalia wouldn't do anything but show us here lovely, intricately pierced belly button, but Joncikas, to everybody's tremendous amusement, stripped down to his boxers and then, pressed up facing the back wall, lowered them as well.
So I was 3/3 on the contests, and Neringa won the last one. It was, by far, one of the most unbelievable things that ever happened to me.
I LOVE PALANGA!!!
Palanga is a beach town, extremely crowded (in a good way) by young people throughout the summer, especially in July, with old people coming at the beginning and end of summer. It has gorgeous beaches, old fashioned streets (except for Basinaviciaus, now ruined by florescent yellow lamps), and 95% of the building look like they're two hundred years old.
Now it's cold, so almost nobody goes to the beach. Palanga still has visitors, but they go there mostly to relax, get away from the city, hit the saunas, or drink yourself retarded...
Friday night was too stupid to talk about...
Saturday night was ridiculously amazing. After walking around the town and beaches with Cedric, and then with Rastenis, we all took naps. I got up at 4:40 with a hottie singing sexy songs into my ear, a mate's girlfriend... I went to church (nobody believed me), and on my way back met Neringa and Rastenis on their way to a bar, told them I would catch up. Back at the house the rest of the crew was all drunk already. Shower, shave, shots with them, and I'm off to meet those two and then to drink on the beach--both they and I had brought a bottle of vodka for the occasion.
Coincidentally, Juste, Simona, and Lina were up in Palanga too, so they joined us. Drinking on the beach, and then all to a club--Fortas.
Here comes the ridiculousness:
Contest. Don't know what's going on. Four teams of six, including me, get on the dance floor and they tell us to make a rope out of our clothing. so we all start stripping, me down to my boxers, tying everything together. Our team's rope included to bras. The DJ says, "okay, now everybody who is approaching nudity get on stage." I comply without question. There are about twenty of us, have naked as I, half still with pants. Then the DJ says, "dance contest!" Music begins, and we all start dancing. I noticed that the few friends of mine up there and I were all inching towards the front of the stage. The music stopped, and the winners were, third place, a stranger, second place, a friend of mine, Zygis, and first place, a drunk, topless, still slightly chubby American--this guy. A free pass to Zemaityjos Movie Theater.
After another half hour of drinking and dancing, there was another contest. Simona didn't want to join me because of stage fright, so, acting as her psychologist-dictator, I carried her up onto the stage with me. There were eight people up there, and this time it was not a group effort, but individual performances. Each person had to put clogs onto his feet and hands, they played a song, you starting dancing and tapping out the beat, music stops, you keep going for a minute. Simona and I agreed that we would go up together, but when I told the DJ this, he just shoved her up front alone and told everybody to give the shy girl a big round of applause. She did quite well, and told me afterwards that she did, indeed, have fun. Then it was I, last, the glorious rock star I believed myself to be, now wearing cargo khakis and a wife beater, strutting my indisputably marvelous stuff. Second place goes to, a female stranger, and first place, guess who...me. The DJ says in Lithuanian, through a slightly staticky mic, "but if you're a real gentleman, you'll give the ticket to this lovely runner up." Too drunk to understand his Lugan through the mic, I bowed to the crowd and put it in my pocket, laughing all the while.
More dancing, more drinking, another contest. This time it's with a partner, so Rastenis and I go up. Here it is: one guy on one side of the stage holding his pants (and underwear) open to form a basketball hoop, and the otherguy on the otherside tossing ice cubes in. Rastenis, being an excellent basketball player, tossed, while I held my junk open to frozen bombardment. Needless to say, we won with 6/6 shots, and this time we got a gift certificate for 100 lits to a stereo equipment store in Kaunas.
The last one was only for girls. Neringa went up, and as soon as we heard what they had to do, we had to hold Rastenis back: the girls each had to do an erotic dance for a potential employer, in order to get the job. As each girl came out and started dancing, the crowd starting screaming "Nusirenk! Nusirenk! Nusirenk! (Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!)!" Half the girls got down to their bras, and Neringa totally won, with the most cheering, especially from me ;), and the sexiest dancing by far. Then they played another song for her, but she didn't want to dance for the crowd, so drunken Dalia went up to dance with her, the drunken Joncikas went up to dance with Dalia, and we started yelling "Nusirenk! Nusirenk! Nusirenk! (Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!)" to both of them. Dalia wouldn't do anything but show us here lovely, intricately pierced belly button, but Joncikas, to everybody's tremendous amusement, stripped down to his boxers and then, pressed up facing the back wall, lowered them as well.
So I was 3/3 on the contests, and Neringa won the last one. It was, by far, one of the most unbelievable things that ever happened to me.
I LOVE PALANGA!!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Vilnius Weekend--Part Two
Friday I had to take a bus from Riese to Centras, cause our Audi is busted. This was a little complicated, since buses only run from Riese about twelve times a day, and the schedule is busted busted off the bus stop post, cause hoodlums like to take care of such things for us. I was less than ten minutes late for my business meeting, however.
I first met with the women who is in charge of Erasmus (European exchange programs). As it turns out, the person who previously held my position fucked up more than I thought, and didn't give me much to work with. But she's super good looking (and married of course), so let bygones be bygones. And, either way, the woman and I worked out a decent way for me to take care of everything on my end with a little delay but not too much embarrassment, which is spectacular. We're supposed to have sent a few student abroad already, and we got financing for it, but didn't send anybody. That's bad. But, we can return the financing along with an explanation, and get the same money back to send double student abroad spring semester. Also, I get to send six teachers abraod to teach for a week, and one or more of them can be me! I just have to make agreement with other universities in Europe, and they'll finance any trips I have to make myself to visit the universities and make the agreements.
Then, by chance, I found out that our students are the right age to participate in Comenius, an internship program. I went over to the Comenius HQ and the the low down. The students apply not through us as a college, but directly through Comenius. They get better financing than Erasmus students, and we can give them course credit for their intership if they come back to continue their education here (graduates can also do it, as long as they haven't had paid teaching work yet). Next week i'll hold a brief assembly telling all the second years that they should do it next year.
I first met with the women who is in charge of Erasmus (European exchange programs). As it turns out, the person who previously held my position fucked up more than I thought, and didn't give me much to work with. But she's super good looking (and married of course), so let bygones be bygones. And, either way, the woman and I worked out a decent way for me to take care of everything on my end with a little delay but not too much embarrassment, which is spectacular. We're supposed to have sent a few student abroad already, and we got financing for it, but didn't send anybody. That's bad. But, we can return the financing along with an explanation, and get the same money back to send double student abroad spring semester. Also, I get to send six teachers abraod to teach for a week, and one or more of them can be me! I just have to make agreement with other universities in Europe, and they'll finance any trips I have to make myself to visit the universities and make the agreements.
Then, by chance, I found out that our students are the right age to participate in Comenius, an internship program. I went over to the Comenius HQ and the the low down. The students apply not through us as a college, but directly through Comenius. They get better financing than Erasmus students, and we can give them course credit for their intership if they come back to continue their education here (graduates can also do it, as long as they haven't had paid teaching work yet). Next week i'll hold a brief assembly telling all the second years that they should do it next year.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Vilnius Weekend--Part One
This past weekend I was in Vilnius for a business meeting Friday, so I took a bus down Thursday night and came back Sunday (I purposely set my meeting up for Friday afternoon so I could do this).
I went to the bus station in Klaipeda in a big rush, I was afraid I would miss my bus. I'm walking through and this woman runs up to me and starts speaking in Russian. Ya negavariu paruski, I say. She just says something about Vilnius, and I say, skolka stojit? And she says forty. So, I say okay, and go get in this guy's van--a twelve seater with a flatscreen tv and a dvd player. We were off.
We watched Scary Movie 3 in Russian. I was the only person who understood less than 3% of it, and yet I was the only one laughing hysterically. It was awesome. There's probably more slapstick in that movie than dialogue.
We got to Kaunas and the driver didn't feel like going any further, so he called up a buddy and he drove the three of us who were going all the way to Vilnius in his car. No biggie.
We got to Vilnius, I met up with Neringa, Rastenis, and Gedas, and, having purchaced a bottle of vokda and no chaser, headed out to Trakai. After the three of us, minus the driver (Rastenis) drank half the vodka in the car, we decided to get some more. We did, I changed clothes (I was still in a suit from work), and we went to these guys sauna & farm house. The people were all cool and friendly. I didn't hit the sauna, however, as there was a video camera there--which was soon used by Rastenis to Video Tape his genitals. But as for me, digital video of me drunk is bad enough, digital video of me drunk and naked is something I don't even want to think about.
For some reason, Gedas and I started punching each other in the face outside on the lawn. I landed at least one jab in the jaw, and he landed at least one cross to the outside of my left eye, which knocked off my glasses, which ended the fisticuffsmanship. The nect five minutes were spend by us looking for my glasses, me with my hand between my eyes and my lighter, Gedas combing the lawn with a rake. He found my glasses.
Homeward bound. Two things happened on the way home. Gedas and I were in the back together since Neringa was driving now. First, some sort of strand of conversation led to Gedas and me laughing hysterically (literally crying our eyes out) shouting in unison "Rastenis, he knows a dick in the ass!" over and over and over again.
We needed food, and I demanded that, since Gedas and I had bought the vodka, that Rastenis buy 4kg (almost nine pounds) of koldunai (slavic raviolli) plus sour cream for four people. I was mercilessly talking out of my ass, with Gedas laughing at me, Rastenis doing the "ka tu man cia dabar,"* Neringa being beautiful, and me loving it all. The only place we could get food was a gas station, though, so he got rice and hot dogs. I cooked em all up at my place, threw hot dog slices into the rice with some home made salad dressing, and then added some raisins for good measure. I thought the raisins were great, but in this I was alone...
Neringa went to bed, and the rest of us continued drinking for a long time, experianing moderate amounts of male bonding. We were out smoking on the balcony, when Rastenis made a proclaimation (all in English):
Ratenis: Hey you know what? I can suck my own dick!
Aras: No you can't.
Ratenis: No, really, it's true--I can!
Aras: I don't believe you.
Ratenis: I'm telling you dude, I can!
Aras: Oh yeah, let's see it!
Ratenis: No.
Aras: Suck your own dick!
Ratenis: No, I don't want to!
Aras: If you can suck your own dick let's fuckin' see it!
Ratenis: Maybe I don't wanna show you....!
Aras: Let's fuckin' see you suck your own dick, or you're a fuckin' liar!
Ratenis: I don't want to!
Aras: You're fucking lying and you're a fucking liar!
Ratenis: Maybe I am a fuckin' liar, but I'll smash this beer bottle over your head, and you won't be alive anymore!!!
Aras: at this point, neither I nor gedas could say anything, cause we were both too busy rolling around on the balcony, laughing hysterically, for what seems like an hour.
*"ka tu man cia dabar" literally mean "what you me here now?"
I went to the bus station in Klaipeda in a big rush, I was afraid I would miss my bus. I'm walking through and this woman runs up to me and starts speaking in Russian. Ya negavariu paruski, I say. She just says something about Vilnius, and I say, skolka stojit? And she says forty. So, I say okay, and go get in this guy's van--a twelve seater with a flatscreen tv and a dvd player. We were off.
We watched Scary Movie 3 in Russian. I was the only person who understood less than 3% of it, and yet I was the only one laughing hysterically. It was awesome. There's probably more slapstick in that movie than dialogue.
We got to Kaunas and the driver didn't feel like going any further, so he called up a buddy and he drove the three of us who were going all the way to Vilnius in his car. No biggie.
We got to Vilnius, I met up with Neringa, Rastenis, and Gedas, and, having purchaced a bottle of vokda and no chaser, headed out to Trakai. After the three of us, minus the driver (Rastenis) drank half the vodka in the car, we decided to get some more. We did, I changed clothes (I was still in a suit from work), and we went to these guys sauna & farm house. The people were all cool and friendly. I didn't hit the sauna, however, as there was a video camera there--which was soon used by Rastenis to Video Tape his genitals. But as for me, digital video of me drunk is bad enough, digital video of me drunk and naked is something I don't even want to think about.
For some reason, Gedas and I started punching each other in the face outside on the lawn. I landed at least one jab in the jaw, and he landed at least one cross to the outside of my left eye, which knocked off my glasses, which ended the fisticuffsmanship. The nect five minutes were spend by us looking for my glasses, me with my hand between my eyes and my lighter, Gedas combing the lawn with a rake. He found my glasses.
Homeward bound. Two things happened on the way home. Gedas and I were in the back together since Neringa was driving now. First, some sort of strand of conversation led to Gedas and me laughing hysterically (literally crying our eyes out) shouting in unison "Rastenis, he knows a dick in the ass!" over and over and over again.
We needed food, and I demanded that, since Gedas and I had bought the vodka, that Rastenis buy 4kg (almost nine pounds) of koldunai (slavic raviolli) plus sour cream for four people. I was mercilessly talking out of my ass, with Gedas laughing at me, Rastenis doing the "ka tu man cia dabar,"* Neringa being beautiful, and me loving it all. The only place we could get food was a gas station, though, so he got rice and hot dogs. I cooked em all up at my place, threw hot dog slices into the rice with some home made salad dressing, and then added some raisins for good measure. I thought the raisins were great, but in this I was alone...
Neringa went to bed, and the rest of us continued drinking for a long time, experianing moderate amounts of male bonding. We were out smoking on the balcony, when Rastenis made a proclaimation (all in English):
Ratenis: Hey you know what? I can suck my own dick!
Aras: No you can't.
Ratenis: No, really, it's true--I can!
Aras: I don't believe you.
Ratenis: I'm telling you dude, I can!
Aras: Oh yeah, let's see it!
Ratenis: No.
Aras: Suck your own dick!
Ratenis: No, I don't want to!
Aras: If you can suck your own dick let's fuckin' see it!
Ratenis: Maybe I don't wanna show you....!
Aras: Let's fuckin' see you suck your own dick, or you're a fuckin' liar!
Ratenis: I don't want to!
Aras: You're fucking lying and you're a fucking liar!
Ratenis: Maybe I am a fuckin' liar, but I'll smash this beer bottle over your head, and you won't be alive anymore!!!
Aras: at this point, neither I nor gedas could say anything, cause we were both too busy rolling around on the balcony, laughing hysterically, for what seems like an hour.
*"ka tu man cia dabar" literally mean "what you me here now?"
Thursday, October 07, 2004
National Teacher's Day
Tuesday was National Teachers' Day in Lithuania. At lunch time, we all went to the great hall. I thought it might be a lighthearted occasion, but it turned out to be quite serious. There were speeches by students and teachers, and performances by students, including opera singing, achordion playing, guitar, piano duets, and a chorus performance, all by music majors. Then all the teachers when to a smaller room for champaign. After a bit, it was time to go, so the men had to finish what was left of the champaign. There were only four men, and only two of them were under 40 (maybe 50), so my roomate and I had to quickly down several glasses of champaign each. Then, we all hopped into mini-busses and drove out to Juozapas, the bewery of Hash'b'Hash beer, where all the teachers got sloshed and ate food--I had ribs, which were great, though I'm still not used to life without barbeques sauce on everything.
Then, after a stop of at a liquer store, we drove out to the Baltic Sea. In our car (all the young teachers), we had gin'n'tonics being passed around (mostely between me and Jurgita) and whiskey colas. We got to the beach, opened many a bottle of champaign, and passed around all the cocktails. Please note: there were five us in our twenties, and the average age of the rest (~20 people) was closer to 40 years old. The Director went wading in, and asked why the boys didn't go in? So, Frenchy (Cedric) and I started taking our shirts and pants off, but then she said swimming was too dangerous, cause waves were high, only wading. We started getting dressed again, and she ran over with a champaign bottle and started dumping it on Frenchy, then on me, but I grabbed it away too quickly, and chugged it. It was sea water! I spat it out and went for some cocktail.
Onwards home, and we were all going out, but Jurgita said she had class at eight a.m. the next day, and couldn't come, we tried talking her into it, and, of course, it turned out that she's engaged! What, I said, are you talking about, you're only wearing a ring on your middle finger?! I lost alot of weight, she said, and now it no longer fits on my ring finger. So, after my third ring mix up in as many weeks, we went on to drink without her.
Long story short, for the rest of the night the remaining four teachers (plus a few students) got drunk playing beirut and speed quarters and eating pickles.
Then, after a stop of at a liquer store, we drove out to the Baltic Sea. In our car (all the young teachers), we had gin'n'tonics being passed around (mostely between me and Jurgita) and whiskey colas. We got to the beach, opened many a bottle of champaign, and passed around all the cocktails. Please note: there were five us in our twenties, and the average age of the rest (~20 people) was closer to 40 years old. The Director went wading in, and asked why the boys didn't go in? So, Frenchy (Cedric) and I started taking our shirts and pants off, but then she said swimming was too dangerous, cause waves were high, only wading. We started getting dressed again, and she ran over with a champaign bottle and started dumping it on Frenchy, then on me, but I grabbed it away too quickly, and chugged it. It was sea water! I spat it out and went for some cocktail.
Onwards home, and we were all going out, but Jurgita said she had class at eight a.m. the next day, and couldn't come, we tried talking her into it, and, of course, it turned out that she's engaged! What, I said, are you talking about, you're only wearing a ring on your middle finger?! I lost alot of weight, she said, and now it no longer fits on my ring finger. So, after my third ring mix up in as many weeks, we went on to drink without her.
Long story short, for the rest of the night the remaining four teachers (plus a few students) got drunk playing beirut and speed quarters and eating pickles.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Saturday, October 02, 2004
October !, 2004 Newsletter
Well, I’ve been successfully pretending to be a real adult for one month now, so here’s an update. In mid-June I found out about an opening for an International Projects Director at Klaipėda College (Klaipėda is the port town of Lithuania—population about 220,000). I sent them my resume, and called a couple days later to follow up. The Director of the College said I was hired for the projects job, and could I teach English also? “Um, sure,” I said. So I enrolled in an online 40 hour course called i-to-i to get certified to teach English as a foreign language (though this was not a requirement for the job (www.onlinetefl.com). Also, I started reading some Lithuanian newspaper articles daily to brush up on my non-social Lithuanian language skills.
I flew out towards the end of August and, having spent a few days in Vilnius, took a train with all my baggage to Klaipėda (I’m still waiting for my winter clothes and bicycle, which I mailed myself before leaving the States—it’s starting to get cold already). I showed up and was greeted by the head of the English and French foreign language faculties, Virginija, and the college’s driver, Vladas, both very nice people, as is everybody I have met so far who works here. When we got to the college Virginija had Cepelinai (Zeppelins) waiting for me, which are meatballs in a zeppelin shaped mashed-potato shell with sour cream and big bacon bits on top—one of the tastiest traditional Lithuanian foods (sample photo included). After meeting the Director and formally accepting the position, they took me to the dorm, where I will live in a guest-type room until I accumulate some money and find an affordable apartment.
A few days later my suitemate arrived, Cedric. Cedric is my age, doing what I would call an internship. This is his final year before getting his teaching degree, which must be spent teaching French somewhere outside France. He has four counterparts, two of whom are very beautiful, doing the same thing in Lithuania, three throughout universities in Vilnius, and one in Alytus, where my mother’s mother was born. We have lots of fun trying to one-up each other with American vs. French cuisine, going out, and playing Buck Euchre (he finally beat me last night).
All the projects I’m working on now I’m starting myself or taking over at the beginning of a new cycle, such as student/teacher exchange programs, and qualification upgrade programs for teachers. There was one throughout September, however, that I had to take over midway through. My first Friday I met with a guy from a firm that was preparing a grant proposal for us. I thought all I had to do was gather information for them about us, such as everybody’s salary, how many courses we offer, and so on. But the guy informs me that there are fundamental flaws in the proposal, and all I could say was “um, it’s my first day…” Luckily then the woman who was in charge before me came in to give me some more material regarding the project and helped me out. Regarding new projects, I still need help from lots of people, but by now I’ve figured out how and from whom I’m supposed to get it. That project is mostly to build a new building and invite some experts to come and criticize our lesson plans and course structures.
A new project I’m working on is in partnership with six other colleges and Šiauliai University, which means I get to make business trips, which is fun. The first time the deans of the two faculties (education and medicine) came with me to help me get the hang of things. The point of this project is for thirty professors from each college/university to partake in programs to raise our qualifications and to each get a computer lab/distance learning center and computer technician that will enable us to do so.
I’m teaching four courses for a total of six classes. The courses are: English for freshman social majors, English for freshman social majors, English for freshman English majors, and British and American literature. That last one was a surprise (I’m most certainly not qualified to be teaching that!). I’ve done much of the material in high school in university (Chaucer, Mark Twain, Poe, Shakespeare, Dickens, Walt Whitman, Hemingway, Steinbeck and J. D. Salinger), but not all of it. This class does, by far, the most complaining. I have a course description with the themes of literature we have to get through this semester, so the work load is not up to me, but these students whine so much it almost makes me laugh sometimes. Also, in one of the third year groups, 30% of the students are pregnant. The first day of class I called roll and heard “here; here; she’s pregnant; here; pregnant; she just gave birth Friday…”
There’s this one very cute co-worker or mine who works in personnel and is very interested in learning English. We started chatting more often and she started winking at me. Then, one time, she said something about a “man” that was ambiguous (in Lithuanian “man” and “husband” are homonyms) because she had no ring on her left hand, but I noticed at that point that she did on her right. I emailed my mother and found out that, alas, in Lithuania people wear wedding rings on their right hands.
So, after the sad incident with the wedding ring mix up, I met another beautiful coworker from the other faculty (medicine; my office is in the faculty of pedagogy), who was not wearing a wedding ring on her right hand. We were sitting for a long time next to each other, discussing work, and other stuff, because some of my projects I am taking over from her. She suggested we get together once a week to discuss various projects. We start talking about totally other stuff, like me moving to Lithuania to work, though it is not my birthplace. She said, "I could never move in Italy, though my husband lives there." Apparently, Italians, as Americans, wear wedding bands on their lefts hands, and so do their Lithuanian wives. And immediately it started raining outside. Easy come easy go.
There are a number of good bars and clubs her, and they tend to be cheaper than Vilnius, which is great. Also, there are a number of gyms and an outdoor tennis court, which I am excited about looking into. I haven’t started exercising much here yet, but I have already lost probably ten pounds and an inch or two off my waist just by the amount of walking I do every day (7-8 miles if the weather is decent), and because there are no preservatives in the food.
I’m typing this letter on my new flat screen computer in my office, which I share with the Dean’s secretary and aide. It’s very nice, new tables and drawers and bookcases, staplers and hole-punches and folders. I sit right next to a window that opens with a tree outside. Well, I suppose that about wraps it up.
I flew out towards the end of August and, having spent a few days in Vilnius, took a train with all my baggage to Klaipėda (I’m still waiting for my winter clothes and bicycle, which I mailed myself before leaving the States—it’s starting to get cold already). I showed up and was greeted by the head of the English and French foreign language faculties, Virginija, and the college’s driver, Vladas, both very nice people, as is everybody I have met so far who works here. When we got to the college Virginija had Cepelinai (Zeppelins) waiting for me, which are meatballs in a zeppelin shaped mashed-potato shell with sour cream and big bacon bits on top—one of the tastiest traditional Lithuanian foods (sample photo included). After meeting the Director and formally accepting the position, they took me to the dorm, where I will live in a guest-type room until I accumulate some money and find an affordable apartment.
A few days later my suitemate arrived, Cedric. Cedric is my age, doing what I would call an internship. This is his final year before getting his teaching degree, which must be spent teaching French somewhere outside France. He has four counterparts, two of whom are very beautiful, doing the same thing in Lithuania, three throughout universities in Vilnius, and one in Alytus, where my mother’s mother was born. We have lots of fun trying to one-up each other with American vs. French cuisine, going out, and playing Buck Euchre (he finally beat me last night).
All the projects I’m working on now I’m starting myself or taking over at the beginning of a new cycle, such as student/teacher exchange programs, and qualification upgrade programs for teachers. There was one throughout September, however, that I had to take over midway through. My first Friday I met with a guy from a firm that was preparing a grant proposal for us. I thought all I had to do was gather information for them about us, such as everybody’s salary, how many courses we offer, and so on. But the guy informs me that there are fundamental flaws in the proposal, and all I could say was “um, it’s my first day…” Luckily then the woman who was in charge before me came in to give me some more material regarding the project and helped me out. Regarding new projects, I still need help from lots of people, but by now I’ve figured out how and from whom I’m supposed to get it. That project is mostly to build a new building and invite some experts to come and criticize our lesson plans and course structures.
A new project I’m working on is in partnership with six other colleges and Šiauliai University, which means I get to make business trips, which is fun. The first time the deans of the two faculties (education and medicine) came with me to help me get the hang of things. The point of this project is for thirty professors from each college/university to partake in programs to raise our qualifications and to each get a computer lab/distance learning center and computer technician that will enable us to do so.
I’m teaching four courses for a total of six classes. The courses are: English for freshman social majors, English for freshman social majors, English for freshman English majors, and British and American literature. That last one was a surprise (I’m most certainly not qualified to be teaching that!). I’ve done much of the material in high school in university (Chaucer, Mark Twain, Poe, Shakespeare, Dickens, Walt Whitman, Hemingway, Steinbeck and J. D. Salinger), but not all of it. This class does, by far, the most complaining. I have a course description with the themes of literature we have to get through this semester, so the work load is not up to me, but these students whine so much it almost makes me laugh sometimes. Also, in one of the third year groups, 30% of the students are pregnant. The first day of class I called roll and heard “here; here; she’s pregnant; here; pregnant; she just gave birth Friday…”
There’s this one very cute co-worker or mine who works in personnel and is very interested in learning English. We started chatting more often and she started winking at me. Then, one time, she said something about a “man” that was ambiguous (in Lithuanian “man” and “husband” are homonyms) because she had no ring on her left hand, but I noticed at that point that she did on her right. I emailed my mother and found out that, alas, in Lithuania people wear wedding rings on their right hands.
So, after the sad incident with the wedding ring mix up, I met another beautiful coworker from the other faculty (medicine; my office is in the faculty of pedagogy), who was not wearing a wedding ring on her right hand. We were sitting for a long time next to each other, discussing work, and other stuff, because some of my projects I am taking over from her. She suggested we get together once a week to discuss various projects. We start talking about totally other stuff, like me moving to Lithuania to work, though it is not my birthplace. She said, "I could never move in Italy, though my husband lives there." Apparently, Italians, as Americans, wear wedding bands on their lefts hands, and so do their Lithuanian wives. And immediately it started raining outside. Easy come easy go.
There are a number of good bars and clubs her, and they tend to be cheaper than Vilnius, which is great. Also, there are a number of gyms and an outdoor tennis court, which I am excited about looking into. I haven’t started exercising much here yet, but I have already lost probably ten pounds and an inch or two off my waist just by the amount of walking I do every day (7-8 miles if the weather is decent), and because there are no preservatives in the food.
I’m typing this letter on my new flat screen computer in my office, which I share with the Dean’s secretary and aide. It’s very nice, new tables and drawers and bookcases, staplers and hole-punches and folders. I sit right next to a window that opens with a tree outside. Well, I suppose that about wraps it up.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
hmmm...
well, i guess i have a website now, so that's awesome. pretty soon i'll try to figure out what that means exactly and then maybe i'll create something entertaining. for now, let's drink a beer in salute to the new digital age of Aras, and let's mock all those who don't have their own websites (what are they living in, the stone age?), and also let's have a toast to Adamkus, whose spoke well today at the Lithuanian Christian College in Klaipeda, and a toast to the cute girl who works at Iki, and one for each of my cute coworkers who are all married (four).
that's seven beers each! I SVEIKATA!
that's seven beers each! I SVEIKATA!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
This is my counter:
