The Tyranny of the Majority Party, By Fred Barnes, includes some interesting history.

Sure hope William Daley is right.

Article of the Day

Serfdom vs. liberty in 2010, by Colin McNickle, is a very fun dream, but I'm pretty sure that's all it is. Americans are a long way from the zeal required of revolutionaries.

Kindergarden Christmas Work

This morning I took the pleasure of religious expression during my kindergarten English class. Each week I try to add something new, though it's mostly repetition. By the eighth week we have Hello, Good morning, My name is _____, Have a nice day, and Good bye under our belts, as well as counting to ten, naming some colors, and answering the questions How are you (the answer is I'm fine), how old are you, and which color do you like under our belts. By under our belts I mean some of the kids remember these phrases sometimes, but regularly when I ask some her age she tells me her age, for instance.

I also have the problem of asking any question, what's your name in particular, and getting responses like Šukšlė, Susiukas, or Kakū. (Garbage, pee-pee, poop) Misbehavior abounds too, but whatever.

This morning we had a decent class, though. And we had a fun new phrase, Merry Christmas. I brought my kid's stuffed Christmas begarbed reindeer to kindergarten and each kid got a chance to tell it Merry Christmas (although some kids said their age bųy accident instead). As I was prepping for the class, I thought, this lesson is probably forbidden in America. Stupid PC culture.

Article of the Day

Yes, there is Santa, He’s no liberal myth, by Michael Graham, is a quite a nice piece on BS. The objective research evidence on liberals believing BS (...About 50 percent more Democrats than Republicans say they have spoken to the dead...) is amusing indeed. The rest is agreeable and fun to read as well.

Is There a Doctor in the House? By Howard Fineman

Ron Paul was my favorite 2008 candidate for president.

Article of the Day

In Steven Greenhut: We're increasingly ruled by rules, Greenhut gives several examples of things in America banned by the government. This reminded me of an argument I had with Gedas, because Lithuania has the same problem: "It's a lot easier...for authorities to target law-abiding citizens...than it is to target the real bad guys."

The result? I have to have people bring me ammonia from America in the form of After Bite. This stuff costs like two bucks, it's just plain ammonia, but I can't get it. Housewives in Lithuania can't use it as a cleaning agent. Why? Because somebody drank it once and died. So fuck it, this multi-use, convenient product will not be available for anybody.

How about Krupnikas, the Lithuanian spiced honey liqueur? Nope, can't have that in Lithuania. Well, you can have the shitty factory version from Maxima which is disgusting and gross. But can you make your own, delicious Krupnikas? No, brewing this traditional Lithuanian liqueur is restricted to emigres. This form of patriotism is restricted to Lithuanians abroad. Why? Because some bums drank too much grain alcohol and died once. Good luck finding it for sale now; as in Greenhut's examples, getting it now is part of the underworld economy.

Thanks Be To Good Times

Thanksgiving was a tremendous success this year. The preparation and cooking lasted several days as usual, but for the first time we had so much fun the festivities lasted into the night, the next day, and the next night too, almost until midnight: a thirty hour Thanksgiving!

The menu included:
Perfect Turkey
Gravy made from Awesome Turkey Giblet Stock
Sausage Stuffing
Awesome Sausage, Apple and Cranberry Stuffing
Sweet Potato Casserole I
Stir Fried Broccoli
Cheese Garlic Biscuits II
Fetaki Mushroom Noodle Casserole*
Roasted Carrots with Whiskey Glaze
Cranberry Sauce
Chutney (Ed's delicious home made chutney)
Wild Mushroom Sauce
Zucchini-Chocolate Chip Muffins
Double Layer Pumpkin Cheesecake with a Graham Cracker Crust

*One item that had to be scrapped was the Zucchini Alfredo. The zucchini was over ripe and did not tenderize while cooking. Thank God I tasted it before pouring it over the fantastic noodles that special lady brought me back from Italy. I redid the sauce as a fetaki mushroom sauce.

And the morning after I made beer bread with the left overs.

Aidas won the food eating competition as usual, but may have overeaten. He and Kristina had to leave more than 24 hours earlier than the others without much drinking to blame.

The first evening we hit the sauna, the man cave, and played a beirut tournament. After several rounds of play while Gintaras and I were still in the sauna we decided we needed some breweries to rehydrate. We beat my special lady and Linas, then we beat Ed and Donatas, and no challengers arose: Eglė and Giedrė either pussed or were too drunk. We won! Luckily the games were close enough that we got to quench our thirst anyway. And just in case we didn't, back to the man cave!

Next day we did the sauna again after being party to the shampoo effect. We had a terrific afternoon playing Alias and Cranium, but then made the mistake of playing Žodžių Bokštas (Up-Words). That took forever; towards the end it was high time to say labanaktis! I was really glad they stayed because it's nearly impossible to get a game of Cranium going, it's only the second time I've been able to play it in Lietuva since getting it for Christmas. You need four people with a decent knowledge of American pop culture, and it always seems more appropriate to play something like Beirut during the party proper. The stragglers left on the day after the party turned out to be perfect cranium players.

A good time was had by all!

Flustered? What a bone head.

Yesterday I was a bit flustered after work, apparently. I walked out as usual to Kalvarijų Street. Usually I just flag down a micro bus, but this time I had a bunch of bus tickets burning a hole in my pocket. I began crossing the street to walk to the bus stop, when I immediately noticed a great micro bus: I usually take the five, which runs more often, but when I get a fifteen it's better, it brings me closer to home. So I dashed through the intersection just in the nick of time. Actually I wasn't in the nick of time, the micro had to wait for me during a green light, but I made it. Awesome.

I had no money. Not awesome. I told the driver crap, I don't have any cash, I'll have to get out and go to an ATM. The kind man told me just to sit down this time and forget it. Awesome. As we drive by Kalvarijų Market I reach for my phone. I have to call my special lady to ocme pick me up at the end of the bus route, because the bus doesn't take me all the way home, and it might not be safe to walk home at night. As I did this what do I find but my keys? Oh, yeah, I took the car myself today. Not awesome. I tell the driver to let me out, it seems that I've forgotten something else as well and have to go back.

Here is my walk back. Before I even got the car my wife had already called me to ask why I'm not home yet. I hadn't even left work properly yet.

I had to walk

Article of the Day

What an asshole Obama is! I don't know how he can look himself in the mirror after bowing so low...Why is this man bowing?

Allow me to introduce myself: I'm a mathematician.

Gedas was visiting Vilnius to register the birth of his second child. We went out for beers with Auriukas and Bronius. After a few beers somebody asked, for no reason in particular, "what's the sum of the internal angles of a hexagon?" The question wasn't addressed to anybody in particular but sort of as a rhetorical question, such as "Who is John Galt?" or maybe sort of as a general challenge. Irregardless of the meaning of the question, which was lost somewhere in a number of beers already drunk, I piped in with "720."

Nobody was expecting an answer, at least not one instantly. If the point of the question was a challenge than it was assumed that if would be a difficult challenge requiring four heads to be put together. But that's not how it went down. I just answered it and three surprised faces turned to me and two of them proceeded to call me a fool while the other demonstrated on paper that, in deed, I was right.

As the beer flow continued and the pipe smoking began, a new question was quickly put forth, two questions really: why is it 720º, and what is the formula for the internal angles of a polygon? I couldn't answer either. I just knew! Gedas was especially insistent that the meaning behind the knowledge is more important than the knowledge itself--why oh why is it 720º??? I didn't know how I knew it.

I asked the bartender for some paper. We spent the next 45 minutes or so working out the internal angles of all polygons up to an octagon, trying to work out the formula, and drinking several more beers. By the end of this period, which everybody else in the bar spent chatting about sports and women, or else shopping and men, the rest of my company gave up. I couldn't give up, though, I knew I was so close. Finally five minutes later I got it: 180(n-2) where n is the number of angles, happiest moment of my life excluding love life. Hooray!

Article of the Day

This piece puts such an interesting spin on the whole health care thing that I'll have to put some of it into practice at work: Want to Reform Health Care? Improve the Workplace, by Jeffrey Pfeffer.

Article of the Day

I had an enjoyable little read today with It's Barack Obama's first anniversary - but there's precious little to celebrate, by Simon Heffer. I wonder what the chatter is like now in America. I wonder what people are saying about all the Nothing getting done.

Professionalism

I had a 40º temperature yesterday (104º Fahrenheit), and I had the shakes, so I called into work sick. I was in real pain. Do you think they told me to stay home and get well soon? No, instead they told me they won’t “tolerate” sick leave, reminded me that I'm still on my trial period, and said it wouldn’t look "professional" to cancel classes—apparently they think it looks more professional to have contagious teachers moaning and shaking throughout class between squirts of Orofar® into their throats. Can you believe that?

p.s. one really great thing about the American heath care system is that they give you pills for everything. Here they give you huge doses of disgusting tea (well, at least there's booze in it)

p.p.s. my special lady was my lady-in-waiting (but for a nobleman). she spent half the day keeping me tucked in, souped up, and forcing me to drink disguisting tea...which did make me better. Unless it was my huge sperm count.

UPDATE: Because I succumbed to the pressure and went to work on Tuesday, I now have complications and am sequestered from the world, including my two special children, for the next five days.

Groupthink

Man, kids are stupid. I suppose we learned in IR about the same thing happening among adults, but I've yet to witness it.

It all started when I began volunteering at my kid's kindergarten. I teach English there twice a week. After a month the kids "know" how to say:

Hello, my name is _______
Bye bye
Red
Blue
Green
Yellow
White
I like _________
One
Two
Three
Four
Five

By "know" I mean some of them remember the words sometimes, there’re a few bright ones, but mostly they repeat after me. I demonstrate the colors to them by showing them bowling pins; each pin is a different color. I've counted by counting off balls in the past. Today I decided to make things simpler by just counting off the pins instead of balls. Think that worked?

"How many pins am I holding up?"
One kid shouts "Blue!"
Then the rest chime in "BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"No no, how many pins am I holding?"
One kid shouts "Holding!"
Then the rest chime in "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Enough of that, time for a new game. I put three of the pins on top of book cases in three corners of the room. I said, "let's go to the blue pin!" and jogged over to the blue pin. They got the hang of that pretty quickly. Problem was, sometimes they went to the wrong pin. As soon as one kid started running, they all followed him, irregardless of who the kid was (not the same leader every time). And you might say the rest figure he knows which color is which so they follow. You'd be sorely mistaken if you thought that, because get this: my daughter followed the group to the wrong pin as well! She knows very bloody well which color is which! Can you believe that?

Applause is in order for the Hero of this Article of the Day

This man accused his ex-wife and sister-in-law of pimping out his 4 year old daughter and niece to a judge and parliament aide who raped them on several occasions. After a year of his accusations falling on deaf ears at the Lithuanian Child Welfare Office, despite three independent expert psychological reports confirming the girls' honesty, he allegedly shot one of the rapists and one of the pimps himself. How tragic that he couldn't get to the others.

This article in English doesn't have all the details, but it has the general picture.

Article of the Day

Obama and the Bureaucratization of Health Care, by Sarah Palin.

Article of the Day

Listening to a Liar, by Thomas Sowell. I like Sowell more and more each time I read him.

Heart Attack

I had a mild heart attack yesterday, I think. It felt pretty severe, but I didn't collapse or anything. I was teaching class, and we were talking about what makes people attractive. The students were supposed to think of the most attractive person in the world. They were having trouble, so I told them that other quality besides physical appearance make people, honesty or bravery or intelligence. There are three students in the class that know me already and there is one girl who is new. It was her first day, and at this moment she shouted "Barack Obama!" I shuddered violently and grabbed the left side of my chest--ouch, real pain! I told her she wouldn't think so if she'd been to my classes for the past three weeks. I managed to teach all my other students the truth.

Article of the Day

The Whole Foods Alternative to ObamaCare: Eight things we can do to improve health care without adding to the deficit, by JOHN MACKEY.

Clear and wise.

Godfried Daniel, Picasa is a Fuckface!

For reasons I'll go into on my other blog, I've chosen to start saying Godfried Daniel around my children instead of God Fucking Damn It! I can't put into words how frustrating it is to download Picasa over and over again from different sites claiming to offer it in English and never get it in English. What's the fuckin deal, can somebody please enlighten me? Does google think that nobody in Lithuania speaks English, and that everybody does speak Lithuanian? Both assertions would be dead wrong. But no, that's not even the problem: I tried turning on a privacy program that hides my IP address, and I still can't get the English version! So please, what is the fucking deal already? I had it at work in English, I had it on my laptop in English, is Picasa simply no longer offered in English?

Unfortunately, I haven't decided on a clean version of "fuckface" yet, so I hope my kids were around this afternoon. I'll take suggestions on that too.

Article of the Day

Obama's healthcare horror: Heads should roll -- beginning with Nancy Pelosi's!, by Camille Paglia, is a good piece on the doom of Obama's reform plans, if you can call them "plans." She also points out a couple of the stupider things he and the media have done lately (useful for me because I'm behind on my news reading).

Thanks Liepa!

I wish I were stupid, instead of *so* stupid

When I bought my new computer the guy offered to put a universal card reader into the front. But it doesn't transfer data any faster than my camera cord, and I do have a camera cord, so I didn't take it...even though I didn't know where my camera cord is at the moment...and even though it was only 20 lits!

Now I can't find my camera cord, so I have to bring my computer back to have it installed; I haven't been able to unload my full camera for a week and I have to take the time and pay for the gas to make another trip. Why can't I just be regular stupid?

High Score in Upwords: where's my medal?!

Ever since giving our kid away to my mother-in-law for the end of vacation, we spend most days playing hangman, buck euchre, or gin. We added rummy a few days ago, and we don't just play at home, we go to the beach or park too, but still, I've been kicking myself literally for leaving all our board games in Vilnius. Yesterday I felt unaccountably down (is there such a thing as antepartum depression for men? or cleaning-out-your-desk depression?), and bored, so we decided to go to Acropolis for a new game.

They have game store at the mall; we get most of our daughter's games there because they have thinking/learning games for various ages. They have the kinds of toys that you have to take apart, like a 3-D metal and/or wood contraptions that you sit with for hours or days until you figure out how to take it apart (which is simple and only takes a second once you figure it out). Unfortunately, they don't have any card games (such as Uno or other nonstandard deck games). Also unfortunately for boardgames they mostly have stupid things like Warcraft. What? That's a computer game! Next can I play the Duck Hunt board game? How about Street Fighter II Turbo?

We ended up buying the Lithuanian version of Upwords (Žodžių bokštas). We went to Chili Kaimas to get some beer and play. It took us a while to get going, because I'd never played before and my special lady had never even played Scrabble before. It was really fun, though, we're really glad we bought it. Throughout the game we'd both gotten a 12 point word (we were playing mostly in Lithuanian, incidentally). The thrilling conclusion was my rewriting a word that changed a couple other words too, giving me 23 points. I don't know if that's awesome or anything as far as standard play goes, but it was awesome for me!

Article of the Day

Malaise Forever!
-The immortal epitaph given to Jimmy Carter by the Simpsons

Make mine malaise, The attempt to rehabilitate Jimmy Carter, by Steven F. Hayward, is a decent account of how silly it is to try and glorify the wost president in American history. I've ready better, but I have to give a shout out to any article about the dud with the word malaise in the tile.

Is that a pickle in your pants, or...?

You bet your sweet ass it is! Sweet ass, that's a funny expression, isn't it?

I went downstairs today at work with a bowl of chili and a delicious pickle from the market. I had to slice up the pickle and heat up the chili. When I finished my lunch prep I went back upstairs to eat and watch Jim Gaffigan on the tube. I had to use both hands to carry the chili because it was so hot. I guess in addition to the hotness the chili was so good I totally forgot I'd had to put the pickle in my pocket (it was in a plastic bag). I didn't remember until I felt something cold and wet on my leg.

Article of the Day

The EPA suppressing its own report skeptical of global warming is no surprise: the Democrats' government ignores legitimate science because it stands in the way of one of their strongest talking points: science fiction, like man-made climate change.

The Hangover (Two or three Spoilers in the third paragraph, you can read till there safely)

My special lady and I have been on vacation, but up until a few days ago it's all--two whole weeks--have been spent moving and taking care of business at our new home, which has been somewhat neglected. We gave our kid away to my mother-in-law on Wednesday, and since then we're all, "Now what do we do?" The answer is mostly play cards, also some hangman. But one night we went to the movies.

The Hangover is a really good movie. We hadn't gone to the movies in a while, and it was fun to laugh out loud, especially for me, because I'm often the only one in the theater to get a joke. There were plenty of jokes in this one. It was also funny to see them translated: thrice somebody accents the wrong syllable in the word "retard," so in the subtitles the word "delibas" (which actually means dumbass, not retard) was misspelled "debylas," as if being pronounced as only a dumbass would.

Two things disappointing about the movie (here come the spoilers): predictability and too happy an ending, both of which are typical, though, and expected. Knew-it-1 as soon as Alan opened the book on how to count cards I knew they'd end up having to do it at some point. Knew-it-2 as soon as they blanked out that early in the night I sensed that Alan's Jager wasn't kosher. Knew-it-3 as soon as they showed Doug with the hood I knew it wasn't Doug. Knew-it-4 as soon as Melissa was such a bitch I knew no happy ending for her was coming. That brings us to the too happy ending: uptight Stu breaks up with his girlfriend whom he inteded to propose to, and instead makes a date with a hooker-mom? Only in Hollywood...

On the other hand, I did not guess where Doug would be, which I should have because I know that high up hotel windows don't open. I highly recommend the movie and give it an 8 on IMDb.

Restaurant Blunders

Because we're mostly moved out of our current dwelling (the freezer, spices and pantry items are gone already) we're eating out more and eating simple things at home. We've had Godawful luck with the restaurants. As I pointed out in another post, our wedding restaurant has been on a six month hiatus and the one we went to instead sucked for three big reasons. Since then we stopped at Pusynelis half way between Maisiagala and Vievis: half the menu was unavailable, the fried bread with cheese was microwaved, and the soup was so tepid I returned it. Yesterday we went out for dinner at the restaurant in Karkle: the Lowlander pancakes were obviously frozen the the potato pancakes devoid of salt. Today we went to the Chinese place near the Old Ferry on the New Town side of the river that is apparently under new management or has a new chef or both: the rice was extremely over-boiled, and when I asked for new rice they just said all the rice is make ahead of time and heated before serving; they can't possibly make me any new rice. What the fuck I says?!

Love Your Job

I do love teaching. Assigning, correcting, grading, and most of the administrative work I do could mostly go to hell, but teaching is good fun. I came across an article about Salinger today that I'm sure to include in the reading material for my next American literature course.

Is LOST real?

This is a bit of news you can find in a million places, I'm just linking to google's number one hit.

My special lady and I often watch an episode of Lost weeknights before bed. We're halfway through the third season. So far in the Desmond-Charlie arc, D has saved C's life three times.

For anyone unfamiliar with this, the deal is you can't avoid fate for long. If you're meant to die and you accidentally don't, the universe will course-correct and you'll die soon enough. Is that what happened to the women who missed the Air France flight?

And about the Air France flight in general, did they find the bodies, or just assume everyone was killed? Cause if they did make an assumption, hello, haven't they seen Lost?!

Article of the Day

Yeah, this is bullshit!

Climate of Hate, World of Double Standards, by Michelle Malkin

So Many Articles of the Day? I'd say it's because of universal goofiality.

In case anybody wondered why I've begun publishing more article of the day bits than usual, I will now let you know why, so you can stop wondering and return to day dreaming about being a pornography sound board operator. The top three blogs I follow for fun have halted production; no new posts for five weeks or more. I've been noticing this trend for a while, blogs getting abandoned or shut down. I used to blame laziness, now a mere devotion to new fads, too: the blog fad has come to an end, I guess. It has relegated its seat to Facefuck. So the amount of news I read during my free time has increased.

It wouldn't be so bad if Facefuck weren't also taking over the realm of email. Half the time I go to write some pal an email I realize when his email address doesn't pop us that I don't have it at all and I never did: he and/or she and I only send each other messages on Facefuck. It's our own fault (not mine, just everyone eles's) for being too lazy to switch from one webpage to another.

Hello people? If you want to make some comments publically about politics or life or anything random and begin a discussion about it, a blog is really the best forum for that. If you want to send me a personal messege, be a dear and send me a fuckin email, what? If you want to share some photo albums with me online, likely to include ones with people's faces, feel free to use facebook. Duh: that's why it's called facebook, not emailbook or blogbook.

Article of the Day

These are two related articles and I can't decide between them: Hate Speech? Nope. Just Common Sense by Phil Valentine and 'Thought Crimes' Bill Advances by Nat Hentoff. I also find the things they find appalling appalling.

Article of the Day

Rachel sent me a link this this interesting piece: Atheists: No God, no reason, just whining, by Charlotte Allen. I've never read an atheist website in my life, so it was pretty informational for me.

Article of the Day

I have had this great little piece open for six seeks. I'm finally getting around to closing old tabs on my real clear politics window, so I'd finally like to share with you National Disservice, By James Bovard. It's rather entertaining, and show clearly some of the waste of the Socialist Democrat Party and Obama in particular.

Facefuck Doesn't Let Me Write Long Enough Status Updates

This guy awoke at the ungodly hour of 6:30 and ate an apple in bed with his eyes closed. Ten minutes later he rose and shined all morning; but now that he's eaten his left over pizza lunch, what he'd really like for dessert before returning to the piles of work on his desk is a sweet sweet nap: so he wonders, now, as he's wont to wonder after lunch, if there's an unoccupied classroom somewhere in the college with a sofa he can lock from the inside.

Article of the Day

Robert Fulford: The UN speaks, and the world listens. Are we nuts?

Quite right. And when Congress refused Bush's appointment for UN Ambassador, we should have quit the UN.

Article of the Day

After a life time of trying to get the government out of my face, apparently, I'll be the happiest guy around: Happiness Is ... Being Old, Male and Republican

Consultation Innuendos and Another Student Hilarity

Lately I've been consulting the students who are writing diploma papers with me. Here are a couple passages from our dialogues:

Student, showing me a text box: "Is this a nice box?"
Professor: "Yes, you have a splendid box."

Another student showing me a pie chart: "Does my pie look good to you?"
Professor: "Sure does."

And today in class the warm up question each student had to answer in class was, "What was your last job, did it have any fringe benefits?"

Student: "I worked a construction job."
Professor: "Oh yeah? What kind of work did you have to do?"
Student: "Nothing, just stealing things."

Turns out stealing things wasn't even the fringe benefit: he'd take night shifts and sleep the whole time.

Dos and don’ts of another Trip to Cyprus

• Do insist that your eye-catching, seductive, appealing , glamorous , stunning, glimmering, exotic, alluring, foxy, marvelous, lovely, enticing, dazzling wife come: you’ll be lonely without your beautiful, intelligent, becoming, kind, well-chosen and forever increasingly sexually attractive soul mate.
• Don't break your toothbrush as soon as you get there...brushing all week with a one inch brush is sucky.
• Do turn on the central air for your room at night: even if the temperature is right without it, the whirring noise will block out the maniacal screaming from next door.
• Don’t overpay at the convenience store—too greedy: when my deodorant rang up too high I though fuck it, arguing about price correctness is hard enough on your own turf, and I do need some deodorant, but then the prick rung up the juice too high also, so I pointed out his two mistakes and paid the right price for both.
• Do eat the "prawn cocktail" flavored chips.
• Don't eat anything that doesn't taste good.
• Do take a full bottle of wine every time you leave a room with wine on the table.
• Don't expect to be fed sooner than an hour after the 350 person buffet begins.
• Do complain that your minibar isn’t cold at all; it’s quite funny just how profusely the hotel staff is taught to apologize.
• Don't wait an hour after eating to go swimming, it might get cloudy.
• Do order yourself some poached eggs and waffles or pancakes or french toast to end the monotony of the buffet breakfast, it's free!
• Don't pose for too many pictures with beautiful ladies or another even more, much more beautiful and pregnant lady might think you should have called more often.
• Do brush off the waiter who slept on his wine pouring duty: "Excuse me sir, I should pour the wine." "Too late buddy, I'm doing it now!"
• Don't expect to gain less than five pounds if you enjoy yourself to excess.
• Do go ahead and stock up on cigars and pipes at the Alpha-Mega grocery store, they're cheaper than in Lithuania.
• Don't laugh too hysterically when your colleagues opens a beer and it sprays all over her.
• Do go on all the excursions you can, the sights of Cyprus are splendid.
• Don't forget to bring some palm trees back for your special lady.

Article of the Day

Don't start nothing, won't be nothing, by Gregory Kane, is an excellent article about the morality of war and torture. I'm surprised I haven't read anything by him before: he's brief, to the point, and very convincing.

I remember where I was too, of course, even though I wasn't stateside. I'd just begun my Erasmus year at Vilnius University and I was at home in Riese. My uncle Alfonasas ran over to the house and yelled to turn on the television, that America was at war. I ran upstairs to get Sarunas Krukonis, who was living with me at the time. For at least a half hour he didn't believe it: he was utterly convinced that I must be playing a practical joke on him, or else that it's all a hoax.

My mother was in a windowless room with blocked cell phone reception in Brussels, I believe: the doors on this conference were locked until the delegates could hammer out a new strategy on education. Imagine her worry when she walked back into the world and was flooded with ambiguous sympathetic text messages from Lithuania: she thought I was dead.

The thought that she had to endure that for even ten seconds before getting touch with me brings tears to my eyes. Where can I sign up to waterboard terrorists myself?

Cross-posted here on my mother's remembrance blog.

Arlen Specter: Fake, fraud and liar

I get a kick our of this guy.

Article of the Day

I haven't posted one of these for a while (busy). But here's one I started reading a month ago but never closed. It's quite an entertaining topic: National Disservice, President Obama’s feel-good draft, By James Bovard.

Article of the Day

A certain failure, by Richard W. Rahn

An interesting and informative article about the tax code.

Article of the Day

O's Foreign Follies: Ignoring Festering Threats, by Ralph Peters

As Nelson puts it best, Ha ha!

People Are Stupid in So Many Ways

1. I went to Vilnius for Easter with a dead camera battery by accident. I am stupid. But somebody else is stupid too: the guy who tried to sell me the wrong charger. It was 120 litai (authentic Sorny), which is way too much, but I didn't want to miss filming the Easter egg hunt to show my family stateside so I took it to the information booth next to the registers to make sure it worked (I suspected it wouldn't work because my battery model number was no where on the package). My suspicions were right on target; the salesman is stupid. Unless he was trying to trick me based on his experience of tricking others. Then he is shrewd but other people are stupid, so stupidity abounds either way. P.s. my clever suspicions cancels out my earlier stupidity & I ended up getting plenty of photos of the Easter egg hunt with a disposable camera.

2. I had a long day today because I had to get up early to get to the hospital to see my doctor; he works in a new place now and I guess isn't comfortable yet seeing me with no appointment without waiting in line, so I had to show up first. It's easy to be first as long as I show up before 8, because all the stupid people wait in line outside the hospital by a locked door not realizing the open side door twenty feet away goes to the same place. But there is a wait at that point already. When I left at 8:30 the line at the registration desk right inside the front door isn't ten dumbasses anymore, it about thirty. Instead of waking up a bit earlier to save I'm guessing an hour and a half, maybe two hours, these dickwads spend their entire morning waiting in line.

3. I had a really good other example of how people are stupid, but I can't remember anymore.

Easter Fupdate

I'll skip to Easter this week since that's the most interesting (before that we did have awesome sausages, incidentally). We were so busy cooking (I) and cleaning (special lady) that we didn't even start decorating eggs until embarrassingly late in the day. But that's okay because Easter is two days long in Lithuania, and most of our guests didn't arrive until the second day. Photos of the food and eggs will come later, when I develop the film.

Sunday:
Herb Roasted Pork
Red Skinned Potato Salad
Green Beans
Broccoli with Bread Crumbs
Fresh Tomatoes and Cucumber
Cheese Garlic Biscuits
Authentic Curd Cake

Monday:
Chicken North Hudson
Chicken Liver and Pistachio Nut Pate
Colleen's Potato Crescent Rolls
Cold cuts from the left over meat


Notes
If you've been following the Fupdates you noticed that I made Herb Roasted pork a month ago. However, this was different: for Easter I got the biggest one they had, four and a half pounds; also I ended up being out of sage so I substituted a mix of seasonings so it was indeed something new. Especially new was the glaze, which I made this time anticipating the early doneness of the meat, which I didn't last time. The glaze is really really good, I spooned some drippings on every piece of meat I took.

Lokys would like the Potato Salad quite a bit: it includes two cups of mayonnaise and a pound of bacon for just two pounds of potatoes. Everybody else like it too, I'd say it was the most popular dish. To make this, if you're using cold smoked bacon, you should get five pounds, in case you eat two on the way home from the market and two more while you're preparing the dish. An additional note is that you should taste your bacon before cooking it: if it's on the salty side you won't need to add any salt at all.

The reason I called the curd cake authentic is that I could not find a single recipe for curd cake in English that used actual curd. Here's what the dictionary throws out:

1.	Often, curds. a substance consisting mainly of casein and the like, obtained from milk by coagulation, and used as food or made into cheese.

2.	any substance resembling this.

I was looking for a recipe for curd, and all I could fine were recipes for things that "resemble" curd. What the fuck good is that??? And now a questions: it tasted alright to me, but my wife though it tasted a bit artificial due to all the pudding powder that went into it; does anybody know what I can use instead that will be more natural? Cause it was pretty easy, I'd keep it as a standby cake. The crust was especially tasty.

Green beans are disgusting. I added them because I felt guilty about having so few vegetables on the table, but I was unable to eat more than one bite. Maybe there is a tasty way to prep fresh green beans, but forget about canned ones. I solemnly pledge never to buy canned green beans as long as I live, even if that's a million years.

Both the biscuits and rolls got complements from my wife and guests. Personally I preferred the biscuits: they are much easier to make and for me, at least, tastier thanks to crunchiness and cheesiness.

It's hard to go wrong with Chicken North Hudson. It's my father's recipe, and the high fat content pretty much makes it sure fire. Just make sure you check your garlic ahead of time, mine was past its prime and I had to surgically remove bad parts from half of the cloves, as if I wasn't busy enough in the kitchen as it was. You cannot make it without at least a clove of garlic per pair of thighs.

The pate was the least popular dish, but I don't have enough pate experience to write a bad review. I thought it was too dry, so I added a half cup of whipping cream that happened to be sitting in the fridge. That improved the texture, and the taste was okay, but only about 5% of it got eaten. I think by the end of the week I'm going to be sick of pate for the rest of my million-year-long life.

Naglas

It's good to be Naglas. What is Naglumas? I say it means excessivly active selfishness that may or may not be harmful to others: harmful as in cutting in line; harmless as in what I do. However, it's slang, and in this country the dictionary is too stuck up to define slang words. I've emailed somebody at the language control board to get an official verdict on what the proper word to use is instead, but he hasn't written back yet.

Saturday morning I went to pick up my external hard drive from the computer shop; I'd have to leave it there after serious mechanical failure left it a corpse. They'd told me the warrently was still valid, so I could get a new (blank) one or they could fix it for money. Fix it I said, wtf, I've got tons of information on there! When I went to pick it up, they'd allegedly fixed it and salvaged twenty gigabytes of the data (maybe 20%, but I told them that was 10%). I had agreed to a 200 lit price when I gave it to them, but what the hell, that was for the data, not a small part of the data. They explained that to check 320 gb of hard drive takes the same amount of time regarless of how much can be restored. I don't know anything about it, so what could I do but agree? Then at the last moment I asked if he could at least give me a pedagogue discount--I do keep an expired ITIC card in my wallet. I was going to say a 10% pedagogue discount, but good thing I didn't: he dropped the price by 25%.

Satruday evening I went to meet a couple buddies for a few brewskies, and we ended up going to Memelis. They had karioke going on and I saw somebody of there getting beers. I wasn't exactly sure what the deal was, because the singing was so bad that I spent at least haldf the fime we were there outside smoking my pipe jto get away from it. When one buddy signed us up for Yellow Submarine I asked if we'd get free beer.

"Will we get free beers?"
"No."
"I demand free beers!"
"I can't get you free beers unless I buy them for you myself."
"Perfect, so you'll buy us some beers if we sing?"
"Well no!"
"Well there's no way I'm singing then."

We were already on the list though and my friend didn't like the idea of getting on stage and not singing until we got some free beer, so I agreed to sing. In the middle of the song when there's no singing for a moment I yelled into the mic "We want free beer!" And then when the song was over I yelled "We're still waiting for free beer!" Well, I, the guy who was yelling for what he wanted all the time, ended up getting a free beer; my friend who just wanted to sing got nothing. Then he signed us up to sing New York, New York.* Who sings such a slow song at a bar? We sucked. It was way better when the next guys did Knockin on Heavan's Door.

*There was so little audience participation during the song that at the end of it I yelled "Klaipeda!" Apparently, naming the city you're in on stage does not always get you any applause.

Fupdate

The theme this week is certainly Kugelis, which we ate four times for dinner as leftovers after last Sunday. Maybe next time I'll use less than seven pounds of potatoes. The other theme is chicken, since after the chili/kugelis adventures I hadn't had poultry in almost two weeks.

• Fried Kugelis slices with Fried Onions
• Chicken Fingers
• A Popeyesque Sunday Dinner: Fried Chicken and Red Beans and Rice
• Old Fashioned Potato Bread

Question: would anybody like to suggest things for my Easter menu? Traditionally we make a fresh ham, but there'll only be five of us this year, and Alfonsas and Silvija abarely eat anything, and we're returning to Klaipeda the very next day; a ham would be too much. I'm thinking some kind of pork loin, possible a sage and onion stuffed one (as pictured on the cover of my pork book).

Do you take credit card?

Yesterday I had to mail a letter and if I paid for it with cash I wouldn't have enough for the micro bus home. I mean, I could have gone to an ATM, but I didn't feel like it. I felt like smoking my pipe and buying my wife some flowers...which turned out to be impossible without cash.

"It'll be 1.35 litai." ($0.52)
"Is it possible to settle by card?"
"Yes."
"Okay then."

What's the smallest bill you've ever paid by credit card?

Fupdate

Week 5 of the food updates. The theme this week will be chili, because when I make chili I make a bunch, and it tends to be too spicy for anyone but me to eat.

• Granola Bars for a certain pregnant somebody to take to work for a snack
• Macaroni and Cheese and Broccoli Casserole
• Chili--with read beans, pinto beans, black beans my wife brought me back from Hungary, and a 13 Bean Mix Darius passed on to me from the States
• Chili Sandwiches
• Chili Cheese Dip for corn chips
• Egg Salad
• Egg Salad Sandwiches
• Chili mixed with Egg Salad and Cheese
  
• Cream of Broccoli Soup for my ladies same day as the chili, in case it was too spicy for them
• Kugelis
  

Note on the Chili: midway through cooking it (I simmered it for about six hours) a couple students walked by my kitchen and I heard one say "Awe, you smell how good that smells?! I wanna eat so bad now!"

Note on the Kugelis: there are a couple Kugelis recipes on allrecipes, and neither are perfect. I thought I would post mine, but my wife said, as great as mine was (is, and will be fore three more days at least) she's had better. Therefore, I'm instead going to try working out how to perfect it first. My first attemt will be to increase the fat content. One of the recipes I found said to add butter to the batter. But maybe lard would be even better? Or olive oil. Or all three!

Another more on the Kugelis: recipes for kugelis are a little out of the ordinary. When I asked my aunt Silvija for a kugelis recipe years ago she just laughed at me and told me I don't need a recipe, I just need to put in whatever I have. That is the authentic way, I guess.

Gymbo

I'm very pleased to say that I'm back on track with my weight loss program. Maybe last week's shortfall guilted me into eating less subconsiously. And certainly today's light breakfast contributed; the half liter of tea I usually drink would have added a half kilo. At this point I'm 3.9 kg lighter than I was four weeks ago, that's about eight and half pounds.

On the volume side of the progress chart, I'm pleased to say that I've lost a total of 4 cm of circumference between the four points I'm keeping track of (see diagram below).

The Obama Deception HQ Full length version

What do YOU think?

Fupdate

Week 3 in the food updates. Some trends are broccoli, for my pregnant wife, eggs, because I have to do the grocery shopping now, and making eggs is a way to skip the store for one more day. Finally, I'm baking my own breads and buns more often: I'm getting fed up with additives in our food, so I'm trying more and more to merely buy raw goods and make things instead of buying prepared food, like bread.

Crustless Broccoli Quiche
Roast Meatloaf with Mashed Potatoes
Mashed Potato Pancakes
Meatloaf Sandwiches on Onion Mustard Buns (I think Darius would like them. Hint: quadruple the onions.)
Scrambled Eggs with Broccoli
Baked Salmon
Country Seed Bread
And for my buddy Evaldo birthday I baked a perfect chocolate cake:

Article of the Year

Klaipėdą sukrėtė šiurpūs nusikaltimai, in Lietuvos Rytas.

About 700 meters from where I live "bandits" beat a man and poked his eyes out Friday afternoon. Saturday a retired couple was found down the street in their apartment brutally murdered, together with the bloody hatchet and knife.

Over MY Head?

Although I've watched eighteen episodes of Lost, I never realized it; it came to me in a dream during a little snooze I was just having: Charlie Pace is actually Meriadoc Brandybuck from The Lord of the Rings. What! How did I not realize that?

I'll buy a big-ass beer for the first person to guess which character from Lost I immediately recognized from which movie. Hint: it's one of my favorite movies.

Homer, did you shine your head in the Shino Ballo?

For the first time in several years, I shined my shoes today. One of the twins, if I had to guess I'd say Liepa (usually they buy people gifts as a team, so separating them was a new challenge this year), gave me a shoe shine kit for Christmas. I would have used it sooner, but I couldn't find my good brown boots: my other brown boots are the rugged type that don't need shining, and my black ones are like pleather or something, I don't know, but they never change. And then I had to remember to ask my wife if I'm supposed to impregnate them before or after shining them, and then when I remembered I had to go ahead and find the impregnater, and after she found it I had to negotiate her into doing it for me. After two and half month I finally shined my shoes. Here's a photo half was through the process.

Good times shining my shoes

Thanks Liepa and/or Lokys!

Stupid Scale at the Gime

I may have been getting ahead of myself last week when I said "In your face diets! All I need to do is sweat my balls off for an hour five times a week." After another week I am not thrilled to report that I've lost no significant weight.

My wife insists that my gut is decreasing and that I'm gaining muscle weight. Weight is not a good criterion, she tells me. This may be true: though I didn't think it'd have such a significant effect, I did double the amount of wight lifting that goes into my regiment this week. I should reduce it until I reach my pre-pregnancy weight. Either way, I'll have to start measuring my progress at the waist line instead of on the gime scale.

Fupdate

Week 3 in the food updates. No recurrent theme, thought I did make guacamole twice. I found avocados on sale twice, and I do love guacamole, but lately avocados have been too expensive...so I didn't pass up the chance...chances. The week included:

Nachos with Guacamole
Potato Pancakes with Home Made Applesauce
Eggs Benedict for breakfast on Independence Day
Cheesy Broccoli Pasta Alfredo
Tuna Salad Wrap with Pepperoni
Garlic-Lemon Double Stuffed Chicken
Guacamole
Cajan Fried Potatos

Note: Trust your instinct. I had a hunch the Hollandaise sauce would be really sour from too much lemon juice, so I checked another recipe. It said about the same thing, so I did it. Bad move. The wife ended up scraping most of it off. It was a fantastic breakfast anyway.

Another note: I read that if you don't grind your flax seeds, you don't get most of its nutrients: they're packed in there so tight your digestive system isn't corrosive enough to get all the way through.

Update: I forgot to mention two loaves of banana bread. I also froze three more loaves worth of banana mush because bananas were on sale for 80% off! I've never done that before, but I read you can do it. I'll let you know when I try out the frozen mush.

Big Ass Task

The biggest task of my life begins! Irregardless of when I end up living in my family's home in Riešė, I have to begin its upkeep now, lest it face dilapidation. My wife and I are the only two contestants in the Olympics of spring cleaning this year; here are some of the events:

• Fixing Both Driveways
  Driving into the yard is impossible: one gate must stay closed because the concrete gate posts are cracked and in danger of collapse; the other gate is locked because someone did a terrible job of paving the driveway, and apparently you can no longer drive off of the pre-fence part onto the inner-yard part without damaging it.
• Taking Care of Septic
  There is an option for us to get connected to the local sewage system which has just been installed in our neighborhood. However, the cost is steep, and while I'm sure it's necessary, at this time there is some ambiguity as to whether we can get connected and still maintain our well, which we need; city water is too expensive, and of course shitty. Unfortunately, Silvija doesn't know much about it, and she's the only person there who doesn't give me a headache. Intriguingly, we had to emty the septic tank twice in two months with nobody living in the house: seems like somebody's sabatoged the tanks so that we'll be forced to sign on to the sewers.
  
• Reorganizing Basic Storage
  Too many books and movies! Wait, let me rephrase that: not enough space for the books and movies. And that's as it is. When I move in someday I'll triple the movie collection and increase the library by 30%. That makes it sound like I'm an illiterate, but I'm an above average reader: almost everyone's an illiterate compared to my voracious reader of a mother, though (Probably noone ever timed her, but I'm sure she read 100 pages an hour: if she had a few hours free she was done with your average novel). The question is what to do about it. The answer we've come up with is this: move all the books out of the office (office = tv room), since they're not in bookcases anyway, but simply in cabinets that used to be unnecessary. Now they are necessary for the movies. But we'll have to buy a few more bookcases--we would have had to buy another one or two anyway for the overflow from the current bookcases, plus we got a half dozen boxes worth of books from her office. And for anybody who know what a pregnant wife is like, if we're going to do this goddam it we're going to do it in an orderly fashion: we have to sort the books by topic and arrange them by height (I still say arrange them by author--my grandmother was a professor of librarianism). We emptied, dusted, and refilled one bookcase that way this weekend...it took two hours and we ended up with several piles of books on the floor that have no place in the bookcase: nonfiction, poetry, literature, children's books, and books on education. If you're wondering what did make it back into the bookcase, the answer is cookbooks (at least fifty), horticulture magazines, history books, and reference books, including a surprising number of books on mushrooms. One of the reasons it took so long is we came across so many books we wanted to read and had to take a look at immediately.When we move there we could read for an hour a day for ten years, I bet.
  
• Improving Liqueur Storage
  The liqueur cabinet: she needs reorganizing and a backup storage area. I went ahead and combined my liquor cabinet with my mother's, they were just two compartments of one chiffonier. I removed the wine to a little standing wine rack I got for Christmas, and removed duplicate bottles. I have one question to everyone who ever had a drink at our home: wtf were three open bottles of Metaxa doing there?! They each had about one centimeter of booze left, incidentally. My mother was wont neither to drink nor to waste space. Did these belong to my siblings, or their booze bag friends? Wine is now kept in an adjacent rack and duplicate bottles are kept...wait, I'm not telling you...who knows who the Riešė thieves are? They've been in the news lately. It might be one of you!
• Repairing Household Heating
  Several of the radiators are broken and the heating system is catastrophically wasteful. As it is, I couldn't possibly afford to live there paying for the utilities. This spring we'll hire a specialist to tell us how to heat the house more efficiently. There are several options, some more expensive than others, but all paying off in the end. One really interesting one my wife told me about is an furnace that runs on logs and the natural heat of the earth: it's buried deep enough to harness natural heat; as a supplement it has a log burning system that you add a few logs to no more than once every 48 hours, that's how long they burn for in the very low oxygen furnace. It costs about $12,000, but as it is now, the anual oil bill is about $2,000, so the furnace would pay for itself and be almost free afterwards in six years. We'll see what the pro says.
• Paying the Bills
  We got a notice that our telecommunications bill was overdue. The phone/internet bill was automatically paid from my mother's bank account, which has since been blocked. I went to their office in Klaipeda to rewrite the agreement we have with them. Guess what? That'll cost me fifty lits, plus they'll raise the internet rates because they don't have such low rates anymore. What! Well then, I'll just cancel the service and order it anew, how about that? That'll cost me 200 lits. What! Alright, then I'll just keep paying my mother's bill until I move there and want to increase the internet speed. Okay. Now, I heard anyone with land line internet can get public wireless access for 11 lits a month. No, they can't issue that access to a deceased person. I said, "wtf do you care, I'm paying for the internet service, and I'm willing to pay you more, and you don't want it? You won't let me pay you more?! It must be pretty hard for you guys to make a profit with all the hurdles you place before you customers!" Wanna know what her reply was? "Hey, you just be glad we allow you to keep paying the bills without rewriting the service agreement." This is the Lithuanian customer service mentality after a decade of every dumbass I know and his brother getting a bachelor's degree in business management: just pay us and be glad we don't fine you for doing it.
• Removing the Unnecessary
  To end on a less caustic note, my wife went through all my mother's clothing to separate what fits her from what doesn't. She looks very nice in a bunch of the outfits, though she looks older; I'm not sure if it's the style of the clothing or the memory of my mother wearing them. Most of the clothes don't fit, though. She thinks they'd be too small even for Liepa. We're not sure what to do with them. We have maybe one relative who can fit in them, Jūratė, but what do we do with the rest? Almost none of the shoes fit either my sister or my wife. I'm a pack rat, so the idea of discarding perfectly good clothes is anathema.
  

Oh, a Gime!

Last week I measured off at having lost 700 grams after my first week at the gym. After my second week I'm down another 850. However, I think last time I went and weighed myself after lunch, and this time it was before lunch; I'm gonna round down and say I just reached my goal of keeping my weight loss steady. Actually, I'm still ahead since it's only been 6 days, but I don't know if I'll go tomorrow since it's Independence Day. In your face diets! All I need to do is sweat my balls off for an hour five times a week.

Fupdate

Week 2 in the food updates: the recurrent theme is pork. The past week included:

• Roast Herb Pork Loin
• Pork Fried Rice
• Pepperoni &Wild Mushroom Pizza
• Pork Sausage & Bell Pepper Pizza
• Nachos with Guacamole
• Several different kinds of sandwiches on the Seed Bread that I made last Sunday, mostly peanut butter, but the tour de force sandwich was leftover Pork Roast, Cheese, and Fried Onions you see below:

One note: make sure you don't use too much pizza sauce. If you make too much sauce serve it in a bowl or save it for spaghetti. Extra sauce on the side for dipping is great, but extra sauce on the pie will make the crust soggy and you may end up having to use a fork and knife like uncivilized people.

Duh, is this building on fire, or something?

My gym is a three story building, plus a cellar with showers and a sauna. Two, really, since men and women are segregated in this barbaric country. The first floor is reception, locker rooms, and a bar. Third floor holds all the abdominal machines, a couple other ones, and the massage room. The second floor is separated into two halves by the load-bearing wall, with about twelve cardio and weight machines on each side. You can barely see any of one side from the other; there are several openings but they're narrow. Today I was going to town on the stair master, which is practically in one of the corners of the second floor. I was listening to my mp3 player; finally I found a use for it since Christmas. For two months I was thinking, why did I buy myself that? Anywho, I couldn't hear anything besides the music and my own heartbeat. At one point I looked around and there was nobody else there. Where there had been four other exercise enthusiasts and one trainer a moment ago, there was now just some tumble weed, which was eery in itself.

I sniffed a bit, no sign of smoke. I decided that if there were a fire, I could bust open the door to the balcony with a barbell and climb down, even though at that point everybody would be watching me. Although, in that case everybody would be watching me, and the metal railing would be really cold so it would reduce my bulge. Maybe I should make sure there is no fire. I unplugged one of my earphone and holy shit! Sirens! I couldn't believe it! For about three seconds, and then the siren blended back into the song of which it was a part. I'm telling you, music these days: you don't know what's the music and what's a sound bite and what's a fire alarm.

Gime? What's a Gime?

After a two month reprieve and a net gain of five kilos (11 pounds, since I knocked up my wife and both our hormones went berserk), I went back to the gym last Wednesday. Mind you, until the pregnancy I had not gained any weight for two years, so I was pretty concerned about it: returning to the gym was important. I've only missed one weekday so far. I'm very happy to say that after one week I've already lost 700 grams ( 1.54 pounds). If I can keep going at this rate, it'll only take me seven weeks to get back to my accepted left of fatness. I bet I could do it twice as fast if I cut out all the cake and beer. But then, what would the point of living be?

Fupdate

This is the first of a new series of posts listing things I've cooked lately. Maybe it'll be a weekly thing, so I'll try to remember everything I made this week. If it was from an online recipe I'll link to it. Note that I do read the comments on them and often take their advise; if you want to know exactly how I made something I can let you know. Unless it's a secret.

• Mozzarella Sticks with Marinara Sauce
• Pancakes for Fat Tuesday
• Spaghetti and Sausages
• Nachos with Guacamole
• Tuna Salad
• Mouse's Macaroni and Cheese with broccoli mixed in
• Cheeseburgers
• Chocolate Poundcake with Cream Cheese Frosting
• Country Seed Bread
• Homemade Peanut Butter
• Yogurt Shake with oranges and bananas

Big Lent

Man, lent is long. So the deal is you're not supposed to eat any meat...and that's even for breakfast and lunch, not just dinner? And does that count non-kosher meat?

Theoretical question: since "traditionally, people have fasted by eliminating luxury items from their diets, such as meats," but currently luxury items in my diet are fish, not meat, does that mean that I should skip fish instead of meat this lent? Fish costs twice or thrice as much as meat.

Since fish is no longer the poor man's food, doesn't that defeat the purpose of fasting altogether?

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
—Matthew 6:16-18, NIV

See, when I eat fish I consider it to be awesome, a treat, come on, salmon, swordfish, smoked bream--why would the unseen Father reward me for treating myself on Fridays, the day of the crucifixion? Besides the joy of eating it, I'm afraid I'd also be taking joy in being a good Christian, which is the sin of pride. So is it worth it? Man, I gotta start making it to church more often.

I guess until I figure this all out I'll compromise and do fish for lent but only on Fridays. Fish every day doesn't make it into my budget anyway.

How about some cooking advise, Liepa, or anybody else?

I'll start with the simple question: what the hell do I do with two pounds of over cooked spaghetti? My first thought is to make tetrazzini with it, but if it's gonna suck then I'd just be wasting a bunch more ingredients, might was well just toss the spaghetti at a homeless man with dry elbows.

Now the more serious question: anybody ever made a Sourdough Starter Culture? I happened across this recipe by accident and found it intriguing. For a little comparison, this here recipe has the highest rating from allrecipes. One is just wheat flour and water, the other is flour, milk, sugar, and yeast. I'm sure the yeast is unnecessary, thanks to a thorough comment that explains why it's not. Otherwise, I have no idea which one to try. I'm asking for advice because this is apparently an investment with years of payoff--the first recipe claims that the culture lasts for at least six years, possibly forever. So I might as well do it right. Suggestions?

I suppose one more question may be the most important of all: do I like sourdough bread? I can't remember...

Article of the Day

The Water Wizards of Oz, by by Chris Brown, is about water rationing in Australia. I read it yesterday during an exam I was giving (to just one student, so I didn't have to keep my eyes on all corners of the room). I should have stayed silent, but I couldn't help chuckling.

p.s. I've been to Australia, but I can't seem to remember...wtf is Vegemite?!

Gifts for My Family

We appreciate all the gifts we've ever gotten! Except for that time Lokys farted right at me.

We do not look a gift horse in the mouth (or a Lithuanian gift horse in the teeth). We would rather feel ungrateful by telling people what to buy/not buy for our kid(s--I've already received an email asking whent to start sending baby presents).

But there are two points I think I should make clear. I've decided it will be worth it to avoid uncomfortableness by making two requests here for everyone who might buy something for my kids. I'll add them to my blog header for people who miss this post.

1. Please avoid things made in China. I realize many things (e.g. Monopoly, Boggle, many other games) are only made there, and if that's the case so be it. However, please note that such things will either have to be cleaned or laundered by hand or in the washing machine before we let her play with them; any toys with small parts will have to wait in the closet until the kids are old enough not to swallow them.

2. Please avoid all things pink. All other colors are super, even peach and lavender are okay (sort of)!

Once again, thanks for every gift everybody's ever given us. Please do excuse me, but this is the least awekward way I could think of to pass on our wishes.

Rum Tasting

I've had the Stroh bottle sincemy trip to Austria, and I've been drinking the Captain Silver and Gold rum for quite a while. The Stroh, at 160 proof, is a very good rum, though it doesn't quite match the fifteen year aged caribean rum Aidas served me a few weeks ago. It's obviously better then the latter two, though they are totally a bargain and easily worth the price for mixed drinks. The Old Monk Rum is a new one. As long as I had four rums total, including a brand new one, I thought I might as well have a Rum tasting. I was assisted by noone.



The results of the tasting are in: Stroh remains #1, followed by Old Monk Rum, Captain Gold, and Captain Silver. However, the Old Monk isn't twice as good as Captain Gold, though it does cost twice as much. I probably won't buy it again, though I'll enjoy having a variety in the cabinet.

Virgin Airline's Food is Subsubpar

This is quite funny (the comment that said it sounds like hitchhiker's guide to the galixy is right habibi): The World's Best Airline Complaint Letter

I found the link to it on Excessive Mastication

Article of the Day

Stimulate First, Ask Questions Later: With the stimulus bill, Obama chose urgency over transparency, by John Dickerson, is a good article clearly showing Obama's total disregard for one of his biggest campaign promises. It was one of the few promises I would have liked him to keep.

Death Wish

Anybody know what a Čeburėkas is? It's a deep fried meat filled pastry--and it stinks something awful. They're made at a Čeburėkinė, which is a small restaurant, the entire thing, including he kitchen, is the size of my bedroom. As soon as you go in there the stench assaults you. I go there very rarely, nowadays, but for some reason I went there yesterday. I had an urge for a Čeburėkas.

When I go I pop in to order and then wait outside while they fry it up. I look inside the windows, bewildered by the patrons sitting inside and eating. Don't they know they're going to stink all day until they discard their clothes in the refuse bin and shaves their heads and eye brows? I especially feel bad for the people who work there. 1,000 Čeburėkai stink.

On the other hand, one Čeburėkas smells delicious. Because I didn't want to discard my clothes in the refuse bin nor shaves my head and eye brows, I left with exactly one Čeburėkas in three plastic bags (the one with handles they won't give you unless you specifically ask). Despite the bags you can smell it easily out on the side walk. Once you get yourself some beer and get on the micro bus, forget about it. You've just shared your lunch plans with everybody else who gets on that thing in no uncertain way, and those plans smell delicious. People's mouths start to water. Anybody who was already hungry before then begins to judge me: what will I do if attacked? How easy would it be to kill me and take my Čeburėkas? Would it be worth it? The answer, of course, is yes: it was totally delicious.

Article of the Day

Reaganomics vs. Obamanomics, by Peter Ferrara, is clear and precise (the topic is, well duh). I think everyone should read it and pass on the essence of it to everyone he talks too for the next week.

My BBQBEBYOBB Experience

Ever since my father sent me a link to the Bacon Explosion: The BBQ Sausage Recipe of all Recipes post from BBQ Addicts, I've been waiting patiently for my chance to make it. The time is nigh...that is to say, I just made it.

It's all put together, and it only has two problems. 1. My presliced Lithuaian bacon (actually it comes from Spain) is a bit on the thin and short side; i had to make a 2x1 slice rectangle instead of a square, and the weave isn't quite as tight as it could be. 2. I forgot the BBQ sauce on the inside, I just used rub, which I made myself from this recipe. I don't think that makes a big difference, though, and some folks don't like sauce on the inside of things anyway. Now she sits on the kitchen table as the oven preheats and our guest arrives. My mouth is watering...is yours?

Update! All in all it was very good, I was very happy with it. But the first bite I took, half a strip of bacon that had stuck to the pan and come off, drenched in bacon fat and bbq sauce and spices was indeed sublime. I started laughing hysterically just from the joy of tasting it.

Update! After my awesome BBQBEBYOBB Experience I just couldn't get over bacon. Today we were supposed to have dinner guests, and I was planning lasagna; all morning I was debating how to add bacon to it. My planning was cut short when Rastenis called to cancel, to say he's too hung over to make it, as usual--fuckin cock sucker. Literately. Bacon still rules.

The Onion Movie

I finally watched the Onion Movie last night. I was pretty excited about it since I love the onion so much, even though the movie was not shown in theaters due to it's suckiness. But as a loyal fan, I assumed it only sucks if you're stupid and that's 90% of people; pleasing 10% of the public isn't good enough for a feature movie. Assuming made an ass out of me and my daughter. First of all, let me clearly state that this is not a movie for children. If you don't believe me, you will when you kid says "Tete, why he's sayin 'fuck' all the time?" (In my defense, it was a PG movie up until one "negro" character used the F word ten times in as many seconds; after that her dolls needed some urgent attention, or so I said.)

Anyways, I'm sorry to say that after 40 minutes I started to say to myself "When the fock is this thing going to end?" Several of the bits are funny, some hilarious, especially towards the end (that is to say, they got funnier with each glass of wine), but the arc that holds them together is, to put it gently, the weakest piece of tripe that I've ever seen, and I've seen at least two dozen movies from the 99 cent bin at the car wash. I've very sorry to say that it's not even worth borrowing from a friend. If you've got nothing else to kill your time with, or if you're totally stoned maybe it will entertain you...but I was truly disappointed. Sorry Onion.

Friggin Soup Magnets

Seriously, if you look at your ties, I bet the ones that have to be taken to the cleaners from time to time are all silk, your best ties, while your non-silk, non-fancy, non-memorable ties hang in the closet for years without needing a cleaning.

Over the past year I've kept my eyes open for solid ties that won't clash with striped shirts. I don't know if that's fashionable, I haven't read GQ in weeks (years and years), but it seems pretty reasonable to me. I finally found a couple in Italy, actually made in Italy, at least that's what the tag says, but cheap because I found them at the outdoor market. One is gray, and it matches one of my sport coats perfectly; add that to black pants and a white shirt I'm a pretty hot shit. Unfortunately, on both the two important occasions I've worn the ensamble, I've managed to drip greasy cafeteria soup onto it before the meeting I'd dressed up for.That never happens! Maybe five times in my whole life. For some reason two of those times were within two weeks of each other on the same tie, even though I eat soup everyday like a good boy. Yesterday I had to drive home in the middle of work to change my tie. WTF? Silk ties are soup magnets.

Where have people's brains gone?

On Monday I got in a big argument with the receptionist at the Health Faculty of my College. Granted I only go there once a week, but even if she's never seen me, her greeting in the employee parking lot should not be "Get your car outta here!" When I told her I am a college professor she just repeated her order, apparently not realizing that by "college" I meant this college. After I finally explained it to her I asked her why she doesn't use her mouth for discovering such things instead of just insulting people.

Today I had another such incident, which I'll post about right here.

A Toast for the Host who can Boast the most Posts

I have not been posting much to my blog. This is for three reasons.

1. I have been posting to an additional blog for the past six weeks, My Mother's Remembrance Blog. There are not that many postings from me, but I take alot of time with the translations, the better writers in particular.

2. The process of collecting documents and working with the notary public in Lithuania is grueling. I have to drive to Vilnius for a couple days every other week to keep the process going.

3. I don't have plans to move to Vilnius, but I've been at my job for five years at the end of this school year. For that and other more important reasons, it's time to take a situation analysis of my life and decide whether or not I need a change. Therefore, during my trips to Vilnius, I'm not only taking care of my mother's affairs with the notary, her employer, and the city, and taking care of business for my College, I'm also talking to people I know about employment opportunities in Vilnius.

I wonder if I've ever eaten a turnip before? I feel like I ought to have, since the Lithuanian name for them rings a bell: Ropes!

Fucktarderama

I got a speeding ticket from the Kaunas police three months ago. I paid the ticket within two days. I got a registered letter this week from a bailiff in Klaipeda that says I didn't pay it and I gotta pay more than double the ticket for their service of tracking me down. So I had to A) go to the special post office, which has a back door entrance you can't find, B) go to the city tax office to get a receipt for the payment from October (all five of the employees in that office were sitting around chatting, incidentally), and C) go to the bailiff's office, which is also really hard to find and takes alot of walking around in the cold. Then after I wait around and finally prove my case to her, she's all disappointed because there's no chance in hell the police will pay her the tracking fee I would have had to, and I certainly don't have to, so she's screwed, and there's even less of a chance that the police will reimburse me for my lost time, gas, and stress. I wonder, why can I be obliged to pay for tacking me down, but nobody's obliged to pay me for tracking my documents down to prove that I've been falsely accused?

One more strike against Kaunas, not that it needed one.

Article of the Day

Here's a good one Rachel sent my way: War Nerd MC’s First Man O’ War O’wardz by Gary Brecher

Reminds me of a slogan my greatest BU professor, Igor Lukes, used to throw out when facing a bunch of peace hippies: "Give War a Chance!"

Off on the Right Foot

Today I fell on my ass. It was one of those slips on the ice when your whole body flies up into the air for so long that you have time to wonder if you'll break your ass bone or not. I didn't, but my spine hurts and I want to kill everybody who looks at me cockeyed.

Where in the World Can I Possibly Live?

My deputy mentioned today that she saw a parking ticket on a car parked on her street, even there are no signs posted there that you have to pay. I said the driver shouldn't pay it, since there is no legal fine if the sign hasn't been posted yet (did I really have to explain my position? unbelievably, yes I did). I said the driver should sue the police. She said that would take years and the the police would find out where he works and make his employer pay the fine while that's going on. The the driver should sue his employer, I said. He'd end up dying amid years and years of lawsuits.

Maybe I should move to Italy. Man it's great there. But then she told me there are a barrage of laws in Italy forbidding anybody without Italian citizanship from employment. WTF?

Maybe I should move back to America, then. I don't think so, though, not after reading this article: Common Sense is No More, By George Will

Dos and don’ts of Another Trip to Italy

Do guarantee great weather: positive thinking affects your environment; the terrible forecast will turn out to be right no more than half the time if you think positively enough.

Don’t forget that your wife hates museums.

Do buy the hat at the market for €5; it’s identical to the one at the Jewish department store for €35.

Don’t accidentally drop your new hat in the toilet and not notice, your wife will piss all over it.

Do bid 11 low when your wife has 31, because otherwise she’ll go out anyway; this way you can pick up four tricks in the blind and set her back to 20 and come back to win the game!

Don’t go to any indoor tourists sites at anytime past 9 a.m., the lines will be longer than [Man with the longest dick in the world] when he’s horny.

Do eat as many of the broccoli-sausage pastries as humanly possible, they are the most delicious thing on the whole freakin’ planet.

Don’t eat at the Chinese place: the Italians avoid it for good reason. (Since they’ve never seen a Chinese funeral, they’re suspicious of where the old Chinese folks end up!)

Do take the batteries out of the remote control when you get to the hotel unless you want someone to keep it on all the time.

Don’t check your email all week: it’s quite refreshing.

Do drink lots of wine.