Savijauta = How I feel

Do you think it's possible to confuse hunger with thirst? The answer is yes, my friends, yes. I don't know if I'm hungry or thirsty now. It's possible I'm just suffereing due to something along the lines of stress. Whichever it is, I settled on an apple and a banana, instead of food or just water or coffee.

Last week was the most hellish week of my life, with several Hurculean tasks being thrown my way from different directions. I learned that anxiety tires me out quite a bit. I can do one job for hours and hours, and not even wanna quit and go home at seven, but when I have to keep switching gears and starting my work rhythm over again every five minutes I'm ready to go home at 1:30, and by Friday I had even blacked out several times; I couldn't remember much of what I'd done that week, and I still can't piece it all together. And I didn't even drink at all.

And this week I was afraid I was in for the same. Monday morning at breakfast my coffee maker somehow managed to make my coffee alright, but instead of dripping from the filter into the coffee pot, it dripped onto the table and floor. I didn't notice this till it was all the coffee and it was too late to make more.

Then at 9:30 I got a call from the Nursing Faculty's Deacon, who reminded me that I was supposed to have been at a meeting at 9. Just worse and worse. I had been supposed to submit one of the things i'd been preparing last week, a self-analysis of my department's activities over the past four years.

I walked down there with a bon-aqua bottle full of coffee (with milk, so it prolly looked like i was drinking a bottle of shizzy). I got there and I was ready for a barrage of criticism to match my morning and last week. To my everlasting relief (everlasting until today) she loved it, she was even overjoyed at parts and told me it was an excellent job that needed just a few details to be complete. Awesome.

Then I met Zaneta for a few beers--she drank about a half dozen cups of tea and one coffee. It was fun to talk about my job (I haven't for a while) now that I actually understand what my job is. I haven't had to explain it in Lithuanian since I started, really, and we talked about a few grammatical points she wanted clarrification on. Teaching English Grammar in Lithuanian is not easy. Also, I'm to pass her regards on to Darius (Razgiukas, I assume, or possibly Rucker).

This morning was good (except all the dishes were dirty, thanks to cedric, so i didn't eat eggs, which is unusual, and i had to use a depilatory applier as a butter knife; it had never been used!), classes were good (we talked about the first part of Zooey, from Franny and Zooey), but then something was bad. Ooo, Bad. Somebody who works in my department at the other faculty called me up, practically in tears. Another big thing I did last week, a preperation for an audit, was, apparently, dreadfully unprofessionally written, style and vocabulary-wise. So much so that she wants to quit her job now (she's mentioned that in the past, though, and she told me it's not my fault). Well, writing professionally in a language that's not pricipal to me is something harder than making up Lithuanian jokes; I wrote the thing the way I think about it day to day. Hell, I'm just now starting to learn how to write profesionally in English! But I still feel bad, so I'm fixing it up, based on last year's self-analysis of my department.

Well, anyway, I started going to the gym again this weekend, and as long as I keep that up I can wake up refreshed every morning with a perfectly cromulent chance for a good day.