Ode to Spork

Country bumpkin had some ham, then he had some pork.
Washed it down with juice of clam and ate it with a spork.

Play Shitball at Work, Improve Morale

Here's the game:

1. read a newspaper article while taking a shit
2. crumple it up
3. toss it over the stall wall

If it lands in the sink that's two points, if you get it in the trash can that's three points.

If you take a shit the same number of times each day that's convenient, that way you can keep track of your week to week totals to track your progress. Otherwise you just have to keep an average going, which is convenient in its own way--you can easily compare it to your coworkers' averages.

I suggest keeping a score board up in the men's room to make sure everyone's informed.

Are my New Year's resolutions at odds?

Come to think of it, neither of my New Year's resolutions is too difficult, but doing them at the same time might be.
--Lost 15 lbs. by April 19.
--Drink more wine, every day unless drinking something else.
A glass or two of wine is good for you, right? And losing weight is good for you, right? So these two good for me resolutions should pretty much turn me into He-Man.