After three weeks in the States, I no longer fit into most of my pants. I ate the best meal of my life about fifteen times. Steaks, swordfish, Popeyes chicken & biscuits, hash browns and breakfast sausages (anybody have a recipe? i'm willing to make them from scratch at home), home grown corn on the cob/tomatoes/cucumbers/squash/broccoli, D'Angelo's, spaghetti with hot Italian sausages, beef stew with home growns, dozens of cheeseburgers, Krispy Kreme donuts, lots of pizza and onion rings and buffalo wings, including from Anchor Bar (I survived the Suicidal Wings), roast chickens, Margherita Hard Salami, pork chops, pork loin, and smoked pork loin (three days in a row) and if that wasn't enough pork, we also ate Famous Dave's Legendary Barbeque. It was all awesome, but now I'm obese.
I gave the Krupnikas toast at Darius and Ellen's wedding. It was not too embarrasing for either of them, which was a relief. I was clever enough to present them with an obscene gift during the speech without anyone noticing. I heard that it wasn't tame enough for all the guests though:
Old Woman: Did he just say what I think he said???
Sim Philips: No, he just said they used to bare knuckle box.
Old Woman: That's what I thought he said!!!
Sim Philips: Oh...
Old Woman: Did they really do that???
Sim Philips: Well, no, not much actually, they usually wore gloves. I was there alot of the time.
Old Woman: OH MY GOD, NO!!!
Sim Philips: Yeah...
I rode on the Viper, the awesomest ride in the world, at Valley Fair, the awesomest park in the world. It's totally better than Six Flags or Disney World.
I went to a bar in NYC where you had to swim to the bar to get drinks.
I got all worked up with Peanut and went to see StraddleDaddy.
I saw Niagara Falls on my honey moon.
I won the last game of buck euchre in Minneapolis.
I had a blast seeing the fam and friends I haven't seen for three years or more.
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7 comments:
thanks for the obscene gift! thanks even more for your series of non-obscene gifts! especially the tomatoes, but especially the saucepan we cooked them in with chicken and pasta last night. mmm....
too bad you got so fat. now you're no longer the dude and have to be walter. that sucks. but it rules that you got to eat so much good food. i'm glad that i got to share much of it with you and your special family.
i wonder who the old woman was...
http://desertculinary.blogspot.com/
2007/05/state-fair-trip-report.html
and you didn't even stay for a sloppy joe on a stick???
i remember lokys drank an entire gallon of milk at the minnesota state fair once.
what did lokys win?
nothing, he had absolutely no reason to drink so much... except that it was free. you pay for the plastic cup once, and you can carry it around with you all day and fill it up at any of the milk booths. so he did so, about 16 times.
how much for the cup?
yeah that was an awesome gallon of milk. Plus it was whole milk. I think you could get whole 2% or skim, but i already paid 50 cents for the cup, i might as well get the whole milk
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