The Trouble of Reading Too Much About Heros

After much anxiety and finally figuring out a way to get through my conference presentation without sounding like an idiot, I complained to my special lady that I wish I could be more of a conscientious academician than just a clever bastard.

"Last night you wished you could repair your own bicycle, now you want to write papers more aright!"

"I wish I could do both..."

"Some people are good at some things, some at others. You gotta choose what you want to focus on."

"I bet Howard Roark could do both, no problem..."

McCain Amazing

I have to copy this post from Darius, cause this article about being a POW and trying to communicate and survive is really heavy.

OH MY GOD I FOUND IT!

Oh my God I found it! I found it, I found it, I found it! Remember when I forgot this great site I found? Well, I found it again, Hallelujah!!!

Turns out I can make over a hundred cocktails without leaving the house. And get this, I'm only missing one ingredient for almost a thousand.

Labanaktis.

UPDATE! I'm the King of Poland! I give it an 8 for almost making me fall flat on my ass.

UPDATE! I'm heading east with Russian Funk! I give it a four for not being tasty, and for being big and so now I have to drink it anyway: waste not want not.

UPDATE! Now I'm taking a bried cultural break, cause I got up to the Body Shot and coulnd't fresist licking my special lady, so it's a twelve.

UPDATE! Now I'm tback to cultural! I drank the Mexican H'ors d'oeuvre, 9 for making me make a fighting-the-spiciness face! It's giving me a case of the hiccups, but I've learned to overcome that with easy.

UPDATE! The Nazi Taco reminds me of the October Fiesta Darius, Shaun and I threw at BU, using my sunglasses as a spoon for cake and then wearing them. :)

UPDATE! I wanted to finish up with a Bloody Russian, but then to my everlasting chagrin I happend to be all out of tomato juice. So instead I just made a White Russian for myself an a Screaming Orgasm II for my special lady.

Now labanaktis for reals.

p.s. throughout the whole evening, I listened to the same song on repeat forever, he stranglers by golden brown from snatch, at least 100 times. my special lady is so tired of it...

Matching Belt

I don't know much about fashion, but I do know my belt is supposed to match my shoes. On the days I ride my bike to work, I prefer to wear shoes that get my feet some air for the rest of the day. Where do you suppose I can find a belt that will match these babies?

Gay Marriage

I enjoyed this article quite a bit. Thanks to Darius for a link to realclearpolitics, which I've begun to read almost daily.

Dos and don’ts of another trip to Portugal

Do, when they give you a cup with your can of beer on the plane, do use it, rather than accidentally tear a hair out of your moustache with the can tab. Ouch.

Don’t skip the “bretzels” in the Frankfurt airport; they’re a delicious rip off of giant pretzels.

Do throw up when you see the obese woman shoving her way through the buffet line mowing (sp?) all the food on her plate in between each dish.

Don’t go to a city called Coimbra, where everyone’s a tense turd and nothing good can ever happen.

Do be very patient with the wine “expert” at the nice restaurant who insists there is no such thing as dry Portuguese wine.

Don’t give the unhelpful colleagues the bottle of 999 you brought them as a gift.

Do mix it with red bull and sprite instead, a delicious cocktail I invented.

Do, if you happen to go to that town despite my warning, eat at Eurotropica, a delicious pizzeria.

Don’t go to Eurotropica without a translator, and don’t sit in the retarded waiter’s section (I asked for a certain pizza to be made with pepperoni, and he said, “you mean instead of cheese?” and when the pizzas came he’d had them added to the wrong pizza)

Do, if the water is giving you a rash on you legs, just use the bidet and sponge down your armpits.

Don’t skip the sauna and Jacuzzi.

Do get all you work done as quickly as possible.

Don’t leave your key card in your room when you leave

Do bring crocs, you’ll be fine in them.

Don’t bring sandals, because it’ll be way too cold. –Aurelija

Do, when getting directions in Coimbra, go the opposite way they tell you. –Aurelija

Mother's Day

Today was Mother's Day in Lithuania!

New Cocktail Discovered

I call this The Random Lady. I invented it because of a tragedy. I forgot how to get to a wonderful site I found. You checked off on a long long list everything you have to make cocktails, including alcohol, mixers, spices, fruits and vegetables. Then it gives you a list of cocktails you can make with those things. It was super duper. Now, with little on hand far as mixers, I'm forced to make things up. Luckily I'm awesome at it. Here's what I call the Random Lady:

1 shot brandy
1 shot light rum
1 shot amaretto
1/2 shot
blue curacao
2 shots soda water
2 shots orange juice
dash of lemon juice

She loved it.