Chunkie Charlie's

Over the course of the Easter weekend I watched the extended edition of each part of the Lord of the Rings. It was as pretty interesting thing to do. I thought I’d seen them before, but it turns out no, just the regular versions. Maybe I’d seen The Extended Fellowship of the Ring, but certainly not the others. I wonder if the editing had anything to do with staying true to the books. Let’s do a little research over at The Nit Picker's Guide to the Lord of the Rings.

Actually, once I got to deviation # 6 I decided to stop reading. I’m looking forward to rereading the trilogy now, for the first time in a long-ass time. I don’t want to ruin it for myself.

Some of the added scenes turned the movie into more of a romantic comedy: the drinking contest between Legolas and Gimly, and Strider dumping out the bowl of stew what’s-her-name brings him? Are those things in the book? It seems strange to add anything at all when you have to cut so much out; however, I understand that the additional women who may be interested in the movie because of Arwen’s hyperbole-of-a-role compared to the book are going to be far more profitable than any Ring nerds boycotting the movie, which they wouldn’t not never do anyway. Seems like cutting those and similar scenes kept the movies a little closer to the tone of the books, though. We’ll see soon enough.

Crap on a Coffee

As I was finishing up Shattered, by Dick Francis, on the bus this morning, I thought to myself, "Hmmm, my thermos feels pretty warm. I'm sure glad it's not leaking." Two minutes later when I finished the book I realized that my pants were wet. And not from pee. Though I would have rather pissed my pants than what did happen.

I removed my thermos on the crowded bus to see where the leak was. A tremendously helpful old man said to me, "Your thermos is leaking." I replied, "Oh really? Thanks. I didn't know that. I was taking it out to pour boiling coffee directly into my mouth." Well actually I just made that reply up, what I actually said was "Yes, thanks."

Then get this: as it seemed to me that there was no leak in the construction of the thermos, it must be that the cap is not secured, so I unscrewed the cup to check. What do you think happened? About a cupful of hot coffee poured all over my hand, sweater sleeve, and coat sleeve. Why the hell did I do that?! I suppose if I was holding a bomb in my hand, and wondering if it might blow up, I'd press the red button to find out.

I smiled at everyone who groaned at me, because what else could I do, cry?

When I got to work I had to spend a jolly morning inserting toilet paper between each of 838 pages of my Bedford Handbook, which is such a useful book that I keep it always in my brief case. Now it lies on my desk, five times its normal thickness, waiting for osmosis to run its course.

p.s. Shattered is not a very good book. It's okay, but predictable and I couldn't relate to any of the characters.

The Trouble of Reading Too Much About Heros

After much anxiety and finally figuring out a way to get through my conference presentation without sounding like an idiot, I complained to my special lady that I wish I could be more of a conscientious academician than just a clever bastard.

"Last night you wished you could repair your own bicycle, now you want to write papers more aright!"

"I wish I could do both..."

"Some people are good at some things, some at others. You gotta choose what you want to focus on."

"I bet Howard Roark could do both, no problem..."

Doesn't anybody remember what happens in Atlas Shrugged?

"The plan would temporarily remove the tax drivers pay on gas for the summer, and shift that burden to oil companies that earn “enormous” profits. An average profit would be calculated for the oil companies, and anything over 10 percent higher than that average would be taxed 50 percent." (article here)

That's Clinton's idea, which anyone with a brain realizes discourages oil companies from being productive, i.e. from being able to keep the cost of gas from going up. What a fucking moron.

Attention Surplus Advantage

Here's an anti-disorder I seem to have! My special lady remarked last night that she's never seen anybody read five books at once before. She said she'd feel rather scatter-brained if she kept switching back and forth. No problem for me: I usually have two non-fiction going in my Klaipeda bathroom, currently We Are Not Alone (in my sidebar) and God Stories, one or two non-fiction in my Vilnius bathroom, currently Mere Christianity, one or two fiction and one or two non-fiction in my bedroom, and sometimes a biography, one of which I'll take with me most of where I go, currently Stranger in a Strange Lange, The Omnivore's Dilemma, Aristotle for Everybody and Leadership, and two non-fiction in the car for when I have to wait for somebody, currently The Best Travels Writing of 2006 and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

So I'm actually in the middle reading nine books right now, though in any given week I probably only pick up four or five of them. However, I picked up Aristotle last night for the first time in about six weeks, and I jumped right in where I'd left off without having to scroll back to get back on the train of though: I simply hadn't lost it. I can do that with all the books I'm reading, as long as there's a book mark in the right place. And this reminded me of another thing.

Six years ago Sarunas and I had a conversation about how annoying it is that women tend to chat through the bathroom door, as if you're not busy reading in there while you're sitting on the toilet. And Sarunas mentioned that he has to plan his time going to the bathroom, because he hates to stop reading in the middle of a chapter, he has to read the whole thing, so it might take a while. I was really surprised by this: "Really? I just stop reading wherever I am, even mid-paragraph. Hell, sometimes I stop reading mid-sentence!" That's true. I guess it's not a problem for me because of my increadible Attention Surplus Advantage!

Why read new books when I've already read all the good ones?

I've gotten out of the habit of reading good books. Last night I started reading for the fourth or fifth time the greatest book ever, Tai Pan by James Clavell. I know that I'm not in the habit anymore, because I don't keep my eyes on the same line the whole way through. You know when you're reading something entertaining but like whatever, by Janet Evanovich, you can just read like half of every other line and that's plenty to keep the story going? Well, not with a great book like this.

It's a classic, which means it gets better each time you read it. Other books like that are others in his Asian saga, any fiction by Ayn Rand, the best of Heinlein including Stranger in a Strange Land and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, some stuff by Ludlum like the Bourne Identity, the founding trilogy and the twins trilogy of the Dragon Lance series, some of the short stories by Salinger, Poe, and Hemingway.

Ever had a falling out with a book? When I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, I loved it so much I decided I'd read it once a year for the rest of my life. Well, it's been about ten years and I've made good on my promise exactly zero times. Over the same time period I've read repeatedly books that I didn't fall so head over heels for. Well