Good Eats When I'm On My Own

Just kidding. On my own for the weekend, I didn't make anything great, what's the point? Who's gonna say "thank you, it was delicious" and kiss me? Nobody. So Friday, alone for dinner: store bought dunes: frozen meat dumplings with sour cream and soy sauce. Saturday night for dinner I spiced it up, cause I was tipsy. I made the other half of the dunes, but this time I used double the sour cream, figuring, I can use the extra sauce as dip for potato chips. But instead of eating the dunes and leaving half the sauce, I spiced it up even more, cause I'm an idiot. I decided to eat the dunes as part of the dip: take a couple chips, scoop up a dune, and eat it all! I need to hang up a mirror in the kitchen; it'd be interesting to see exactly what a culinary cretin looks like in action. Sunday morning I ate the rest of the chips for breakfast. For lunch I went all out: instant mashed potatoes with hot dog slices mixed in. I hate hot dogs, really hate them, but they're the only precooked meat I had. Good thing I wasn't on my own more than 48 hours, I probably would have died of malnutrition!

A Number (4) of Things to Watch Out For

1. When you buy tickets to the theater, make sure it's the drama theater, not the musical theater
2. Before buying them, make sure Fiddler on the Roof is less than three and a half hours long, so you don't have to leave during intermission and buy another pair of tickets to see the end of the show another day
3. When buying a bottle of tomato juice to make a cocktail to bring along, making the show bearable, make sure it's acutally juice; I accidentally bought a bottle of sauce (wtf?!) and ended up with a rather thick Bloody Mary
4. When you get home and make quesadillas, don't forget to put jalapenos in them

The week in clothes

Monday I wore my blue striped shirt, today it was the orance striped one. In between it was white Polo Ralph Lauren that Regan left at my place stateside once. I skipped the tie with the striped shirts, but forgot the tie with the white one. Luckily I keep a spare at work, a blue one I got free with a crumby shirt once. I don't wear suit pants during crappy weather, which most of the winter; it takes a toll on the pants bottoms. I wear a jacket, though, still, gray-brown-brown so far this weak. Tomorrow I'll go gray again, I suppose. Friday will be casual day at work (only for me), so I'll just wear a sweater. If anybody votes for which sweater I should wear, I'll strongly consider it. I can't believe I wrote this!

Tree Huggers in Lithuania!

Oh yes, we have tree huggers now, just like you Americans do, you think you're so special. Our tree huggers are very concerned about the environment and environmentalism and conservationism and clean air and water and animals. Not!

On the way to the bus stop this morning, I did see someone hugging a tree, but it wasn't to protest deforestation. I thought he was hugging the tree to keep from falling down drunk, and I still thing that's how his relationship with the tree began. He was asleep. The only thing he was trying to conserve, apparently, was his verticalism.

p.s. this Onion article reminds me of something awesome I made over the weekend: cheeseburgers with jalapeños mixed in! Lately I been mixing jalapeños or jalapeño brine into everything.

What's my IQ, I wonder.

Rachel's blog led me to this one IQ test, on which I scored a measly 117. Disappointed, I tried to find a more reliable one using the most reliable advisor I have, google. I took the test on the number one hit (non-sponsored), which scored me a whopping 144, one point short of "Genius (Less than 1% of test takers)." Well, I'm sure I did do extremely well on the test, I was certain or nearly certain across the board. But if it scores me that high, maybe it was too easy.

How can I actually find out online? And don't suggest anything that takes more than 15 minutes, I don't wanna know that bad.

Oh, and by the way, I tried this other one, and to make sure it would really give me my score for free I clicked finished without answering any questions at all, and I scored a 51. How's that? You get the first 51 points for being alive, is that how it works? My cat's got enough sense to do that, is that her IQ? Here's the stats:

Your age adjusted IQ score is 51 and the average score is 100.

Your Grade: Low

Total number of questions: 30
Questions answered: 0
Questions not answered: 30
Questions answered correctly: 0
Questions answered incorrectly: 30
Percentage correct answers: 0%

Try this to relax a bit for a minute when you're still working at 6 p.m.

Read recipes on Epicurious. When you find a comment about an intention to experiment with something recipe related, suggest to the commenter loudly, out loud, that is, and not keeping your voice down, that he experiment with something else, something much more vulgar, "Why don't you experiment with ______ instead?!" Utter something so vulgar that once you've suggested it you have to look around quickly to make sure nobody heard you, despite your being the only English speaking person in your office. That's what I call relaxation!

An interesting thing to see outside a Children's Hospital

Patients smoking!

Do you ever see someone with a mole with a long hair sticking out and you just grab it and yank it out? If yes, know this:

When the mouse is away, the cat will...not do the dishes very effectively. See my special lady and I, we live the good old fashioned way, by splitting up responsibilities so as to specialize and be more efficient. Also old fashioned is that I consider myself the cat. The non-traditional thing, as you must know if you read this blog, is that I do the cooking. Anyway, the point is I don't normally do the dishes; I only do them as a pledge of reconciliation, which is very seldom. Now that I'm on my own for a bit, though, I've developed a very good system for doing the dishes, which I'd like to share with you:
1. rinse dish with water (no soap); if clean, set to dry in rack
2. if not clean, leave to soak for 24 hours; if dish is necessary for cooking, scrape with spatula and use immediately
3. if not clean after 24 of soaking, soak for another 24 hours
4. repeat steps 2-3 until clean

P.S. I made sweet and sour pork last night, it was unbelievably awesome.