Do guarantee great weather: positive thinking affects your environment; the terrible forecast will turn out to be right no more than half the time if you think positively enough.
Don’t forget that your wife hates museums.
Do buy the hat at the market for €5; it’s identical to the one at the Jewish department store for €35.
Don’t accidentally drop your new hat in the toilet and not notice, your wife will piss all over it.
Do bid 11 low when your wife has 31, because otherwise she’ll go out anyway; this way you can pick up four tricks in the blind and set her back to 20 and come back to win the game!
Don’t go to any indoor tourists sites at anytime past 9 a.m., the lines will be longer than [Man with the longest dick in the world] when he’s horny.
Do eat as many of the broccoli-sausage pastries as humanly possible, they are the most delicious thing on the whole freakin’ planet.
Don’t eat at the Chinese place: the Italians avoid it for good reason. (Since they’ve never seen a Chinese funeral, they’re suspicious of where the old Chinese folks end up!)
Do take the batteries out of the remote control when you get to the hotel unless you want someone to keep it on all the time.
Don’t check your email all week: it’s quite refreshing.
Do drink lots of wine.
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1 comment:
I remember when I was in Vilnius my father did a business trip to the Philippines and sent me a necklace as a present which I later discovered had cost him a small fortune. Then a few months later I went shopping at the small market right near Ausros Vartu and found the exact same necklace for 3 LT.
Moral of the story: never buy from a department store when there are markets nearby, you will always get ripped off no matter what country you are in. That being said, it was still a pretty funny coincidence.
PS My sister's boyfriend is an Italian chef. I get pretty awesome food by mere association.
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