Dos and Don'ts of a Trip to Poland

• Don't be surprised when a bum buys you two rounds of shots
• Do tell the buffet breakfast host at the hotel you're reading The Lord of the Rings when she asks--later when you can't find your group she'll ask you if you're looking for Gollum
• Don't just bring one bottle of booze
• Do make sure you're bringing appropriate t-shirts if you're grabbing inside out ones while packing, otherwise you'll have to hand wash the one wearable one
• Don't ask the Russian professor--Aleksandre Popov--if you can get shot of shitty vodka
• Do bring something inconspicuous to read during the boring parts of the workshops
• Don't believe the promises of lunch; therefore,
• Do make your own lunch sandwiches at the breakfast buffet
• Don't take off your headphones whey you get bored, if you just turn off your receiver nobody can tell your not listening anymore