Bus Ride Condemning the Government, and an Article of the Day

This morning on the bus an announcement was playing in between stops: "Starting July 15th, board all buses and trolleys through the front doors and show the driver your eticket or punch a single ride ticket. Exit through the other doors."

I thought, hooray! Finally the nanny government is going to stop paying people full time salaries to board buses and check peoples tickets all day. Not only does it cost tax payer money, it also wastes everybody's time, even when they don't fine anybody to make up for the cost of their salaries. It's especially mondo-retardo because competitors to the government do run city buses at half the cost to passengers (without the "controllers"): obviously the bureaucracy is where half the ticket price goes.

No such luck: controllers boarded the bus a few stops down and I asked one of them, "So your job here will be done July 15th, or what?"

"I don't know, depends on if all the changes get approved. Of course, some of us will get to stay no matter what," he said with the certainly only civil servants exude.

This reminded me of an incident while I was at college. Boston was spending millions of dollars cleaning the streets with mechanical street sweepers that weren't effective at all. Their solution? Cut the budget in half...but still spend millions of dollars on the same ineffective measures. I remember very well how furious Darius was that they weren't cutting the program entirely.

But that's how government bureaucracy works, isn't it? Just as teachers in Lithuania rarely fail students because it's so much more paperwork than a D- is, there might even be a hearing too, you might have to explain yourself, oh no! Sarunas doesn't agree that the example parallels other sectors of government run economy, but I remember, too, a story my father told me about his days in the public sector: the city he worked in had a 100% employment policy, so for instance, if at any point there were no new roads that needed paving, the city would pave some new roads anyway, ones that didn't need paving, because they couldn't possibly lay anybody off, if I remember correctly...

On other evils of bureaucratic government, here's a very depressing article my father posted yesterday: No More Eggs by the Dozen: EU Micromanages British Sales, by DanaLoesch.

Article of the Day

Playing Politics vs. Fighting the Spill, by Michael Barone, gives a good acount of whose asses actually need kicking, starting with Obama's.

Article\

Playing Politics vs. Fighting the Spill
By Michael Barone

Article of the Day

Should Biden Get a Pass, by Jonah Goldberg, gives a good background on what an ignoramus Biden is, and sums up well the self-hating foreign policy of the current administration.

Never Ask Female Students How They're Doing

I always ask students some simple questions to start class as a warm up exercies. How was your weekend, how are your classes going, stuff like that. Here's how today went:

Female Student: *chuckles randomly*
Professor: What's up?
Female Student: Nothing.
Professor: Come on, let's all laugh together!
Female Student: I just can't understand anything today.
Professor: What's the matter, up all night doing homework?
Female Student: No, just my woman's disease.
Professor: O...kay... How about you, how are you? (to another female student)
Other Female Student: I have lots of problems.
Professor: Is there something I can do, what's the problem? (thinking it's something academic, which of course would be the only appropriate thing for her to mention)
Other Female Student: It's very bad, terrible family problems.
Professor: Okay! let's just get started with class.

Article of the Day

You really can't beat Joh Stossel. Obama's Labor Department vs. Unpaid Interns is right on target.

Article of the Day

I've read a bunch of articles about Comedy Central censoring Mohammad, but Jon Stewart Flunks His Spartacus Test, by Jeffrey Lord, is certainly the most interesting so far. It put the whole situation in a new light, the right light, really, and it's convincing. Jon Stewart is a loser.

Article of the Day

A law Arizona can live with, by George F. Will, goes through an issue I've never been able to understand. Why doesn't the US Government crack down on illegal immigration? I've never heard any legitimate arguments. Because all our forefathers were immigrants? Don't make me bitch slap you! My forefathers were legal immigrants, which makes all the difference you turd-burglar.

Article of the Day

Obama: Washington Needs to Be More Like California, by Matt Welch.

Yeah, that makes sense. Let's try to bankrupt the country the way Californians bankrupted their state.

The Long Trip Home

If it's not nice out I stay in the office ten minutes past the end of work (4:30), because my bus doesn't come until 4:42. But if it's nice weather I like to leave on the dot and walk to the earlier bus stop. It gets me a little exercise and also a better shot of finding a seat on the bus. I don't have to rush, but I can't dawdle either.

Yesterday my special lady asked me if I could pick up some tomatoes. There is a vegetable stand on the way, but I agreed on the condition that there aren't many people in line, cause if I spend more than two minutes on the process I'll miss my bus. There was only one, so I got in line. While I waited I calculated how many tomatoes I could afford, because I only had 1.92 lits cash: 1.92 lits/6.99 lits for tomatoes = 274.6 grams. "275 grams of tomatoes, please." Why not round up?

That's the first time this babuska got such an exact order, but I just gave her all my coins and luckily four tomatoes came to 280 grams and she let me have them. And then just as I took the bag my bus drove by. But then it stopped at a red light! I jogged over (I can't actually run in a suit, it would look too ridiculous), and as I began to rap on the door the bus drove away.

Now I started walking back the way I came. Why? Because across the intersection from my regular bus stop is the Chinese place that sells beer cheap, so I can have a brewsky while I wait. After I decided to do this I found out from my special lady that the next bus is in just 23 minutes, so I had to hurry (I couldn't change my mind because too much had gone wrong already, plus I had to take a whiz).

A very nice Vilkmergės dark beer costs just 3.50 at the Chinese place. It was very tasty--I noticed an old man reading a book and drinking one on my way in. On my way out eight minutes later he had not made any progress though.

Standing at the bus stop waiting I reached into my overcoat pocket and literally thought to myself, "what the hell is that? Did I bring tangerines to work for lunch and forget about them?! Oh, yeah...the tomatoes." As soon as I got on the bus I realized a mistake: my second bus runs more seldom than my first bus, which isn't a problem if my special lady can pick me up on the way home from picking the kid up at kindergarten, but today she can't....hmmm. I could have had two leisurely beers at the Chinese place instead of pounding one in six minutes.

Now what? Well I'll have to get another beer to make up for that. I get off the bus at the most convenient spot to walk home, which also happens to be near a grocery store. I pop in there and don't want to get a bottle, I won't really have a chance to return it, so the deposit will end up jacking the price up quite a bit, 15% as it turns out, because instead I ended up getting a can of Donner Premium for 1.69 lits. It was okay.

On the walk from there to the next stop I took another whiz in the woods and found a trash pile next to somebody's driveway. The next stop was the Baltic Petroleum gas station where I bought a bottle Švyturys, because at 2.44 with deposit it was still cheaper than any of the cans, and it's a fine beer.

The plan was to drink it on the way to Norfa, but by then the kindergarten parents meeting was over and I was close enough to home that my special lady picked me up instead. Oh well, it was a good run.

I wonder what the people at the bank think. I charged three beers on my debit card in three different parts of the city within 90 minutes. Here's a map of my trek:

A. Office/Main Bus Stop

B. Vegetable Stand/Tomatoes

C. Chinese Place/Vilkmergės

D. Grocery Store/Donner

E. Baltic Petrolium/Švyturys

F. Home/Roast Pork Loin

Article of the Day

Schumer: Five major airlines commit to no carry-on fees

Travesty! Annoying as it will be to pay for overhead space, it will lower the cost of the flight if people are more selective about the stuff they haul around on planes. Who know, maybe I'll figure out how to travel without anything that doesn't fit in my pockets.

There was a joke I saw a few weeks or months ago that I wanted to post to, but I can't find it. I thought it was on the onion, but apparently not. It was a picture of a new design for cargo pants that you can fit your whole wardrobe into. Or did I just dream that image???

Really I don't have much more to say than this guy: "Total socialism. Who is next if the government doesn't like your pricing? Should Intel be told to lower their prices to "get in line" with AMD? What about gas prices? How about food?"

The Unbelievable George Lopez Conan O'Brien Conundrum

In a surprise twist to the Conan O'Brien saga, it turns out part of the reason George Lopez convinced him to take the TBS job was a guaranteed romantic relationship with former Durham, CT resident Homer Ford.

Status Update Too Long

Aras can't quite tell. Is it me, or is the NYTimes becoming critical of Obama? I suspected a few years ago that the newspaper had no actual political ideals, that they just slammed whoever was in office because that's so popular. Since then I've been boycotting them, so I don't know if the content has changed. But I always wondered, if that were the case, how long it would take before the newspaper started slamming Obama. It looks from the headlines I see like the newspaper is turning a corner. Anybody know if that's true?

Article of the Day

Why Poland's grief is doubled, by Alex Storozynski, makes some intersting points. The top one is this:

Ironically, because of Kaczynski's death, more people have already heard about the Katyn Massacre than would have heard about it had he simply placed a wreath at the gravesite.

This is true. I learned about the massacre while study IR at BU, but I'd forgotten the details. If you'd asked me yesterday what Katyn was, I'd have said, "No no, it's pronounced 'Cotton.'" And if you clarified that you were inquiring about the Katyn Forest, then I might have said, "Oh, um...something bad, right?"

True, the crash was a catalyst for spreading the word about a part of history. It served as a refresher course as well.

However, as a conspiracy lover, I don't agree with this:

Let us hope the flight data recordings from Kaczynski's downed plane will provide enough evidence to dissuade conspiracy theorists.

I mean, come on! Conspiracies are exciting! Plus they justify hate, distrust, and anger, and those are some powerful emotions.

Article of the Day

Here's a little part to a much bigger story that involves Lithuania and the rest of Easter Europe fearing for its life: President Obama's Nuclear Naivete, by Jack Kelly. While worth reading, the real reason I chose this article to the today's Article is because of the joke about historic actions: priceless!

Chunkie Charlie's

Over the course of the Easter weekend I watched the extended edition of each part of the Lord of the Rings. It was as pretty interesting thing to do. I thought I’d seen them before, but it turns out no, just the regular versions. Maybe I’d seen The Extended Fellowship of the Ring, but certainly not the others. I wonder if the editing had anything to do with staying true to the books. Let’s do a little research over at The Nit Picker's Guide to the Lord of the Rings.

Actually, once I got to deviation # 6 I decided to stop reading. I’m looking forward to rereading the trilogy now, for the first time in a long-ass time. I don’t want to ruin it for myself.

Some of the added scenes turned the movie into more of a romantic comedy: the drinking contest between Legolas and Gimly, and Strider dumping out the bowl of stew what’s-her-name brings him? Are those things in the book? It seems strange to add anything at all when you have to cut so much out; however, I understand that the additional women who may be interested in the movie because of Arwen’s hyperbole-of-a-role compared to the book are going to be far more profitable than any Ring nerds boycotting the movie, which they wouldn’t not never do anyway. Seems like cutting those and similar scenes kept the movies a little closer to the tone of the books, though. We’ll see soon enough.

Did George Carlin dress up as a fat old druid woman and get a job at Maxima?

The water coolers at my new workplace are in interesting places: inside the offices of people you shouldn't bother, certainly not for water. Therefore, every Monday I walk to a grocery store during my lunch break and buy a five liter jug of cheap water to drink throughout the week.

Today I had an interesting time. It began as every other: I walk in, see how many people are in line at each register: three or four. I decide to leave, turn around, take two steps, then change my mind. I need water, and I can just play backgammon on my phone while I wait in line.

I find my water, five liters for 2.25 lits. Did you know there's no symbol for lits? No $, no €, no £, no ¥: we are a nation whose currency has no face, merely a name. Anyways, I find my water, and resist all urges to buy food: I already have some food, left over fried chicken from last night, a drumstick and a thigh, and half a large cucumber. I get in line.

When I get up to the register I have this conversation:

"Just the water?"

"Yup."

"Coulda brought some from home. "

"What?"

"If you just brought some water from home you wouldn't need to buy any."

"Um...yeah. I guess. "

I immediately though, well I'd rather spend 2.25 a week on water than lug a jug from home on the bus. But then I though, what the hell was that, a delusion?! Did I dream that? Did the cashier at Maxima really purposely verbally discourage me from grocery shopping?

I don't have audio at the moment, but here's my best guess at the george carlin bit I remember. It should be the one when he's talking about how crazy it is to buy bottled water.

Article of the Day

A disgrace for the Democrats, by Michael Tomasky, is an interesting piece. The real reason I'm posting it here, though, is that the writing style reminds me of Lokys (...That's a joke, except not really...). Anyway, logical as the argument is, it proceeds from a premise I disagree with strongly: Tomasky believes congressmen should do,in their opinion, what's in their constituents best interests, even if their constituents don't want it: because, if they did want it, there would be no risk of not being reelected. I believe all your votes need to be cast on a referendum basis: every congressman, senator, and president should say to himself before every vote, "if this went to referendum in my district, what would the outcome be?"

Crap on a Coffee

As I was finishing up Shattered, by Dick Francis, on the bus this morning, I thought to myself, "Hmmm, my thermos feels pretty warm. I'm sure glad it's not leaking." Two minutes later when I finished the book I realized that my pants were wet. And not from pee. Though I would have rather pissed my pants than what did happen.

I removed my thermos on the crowded bus to see where the leak was. A tremendously helpful old man said to me, "Your thermos is leaking." I replied, "Oh really? Thanks. I didn't know that. I was taking it out to pour boiling coffee directly into my mouth." Well actually I just made that reply up, what I actually said was "Yes, thanks."

Then get this: as it seemed to me that there was no leak in the construction of the thermos, it must be that the cap is not secured, so I unscrewed the cup to check. What do you think happened? About a cupful of hot coffee poured all over my hand, sweater sleeve, and coat sleeve. Why the hell did I do that?! I suppose if I was holding a bomb in my hand, and wondering if it might blow up, I'd press the red button to find out.

I smiled at everyone who groaned at me, because what else could I do, cry?

When I got to work I had to spend a jolly morning inserting toilet paper between each of 838 pages of my Bedford Handbook, which is such a useful book that I keep it always in my brief case. Now it lies on my desk, five times its normal thickness, waiting for osmosis to run its course.

p.s. Shattered is not a very good book. It's okay, but predictable and I couldn't relate to any of the characters.

Article of the Day

Chicago's Pointless Handgun Ban, by Steve Chapman, give a clear and succinct review of the pointlessness of gun bans in America.