My Anti-Heroes

Three of my heros are pirates, but I wouldn't want to be one of the loser pirates writtten about in this article.

And that firestarter in the X-Files was pretty neat, but I can't imagine any kid I'd hate to be more than this kid! Jesus H. Fuckface!

And ugly is ugly, but this is the ugliest presidential candidate I know of!

And I wonce ate a heaping bowl of salt!

Last night I made long sandwiches, on like a three foot baguette: tuna salad sub sandwiches. Everything would have been fine, the tuna salad wasn't too salty: it was just salty enough. However, I added two things to the sandwiches which resulted in my culinary undoing: pepperoni and fetaki (salted feta) cheese. The pepperoni wouldn't have been so bad except for one thing: I fried it, a process that quadruples its saltiness. The cheese is naturally salty, so after adding those two things, we ended up having to accompany the sandwiches with something else: milk and/or beer poured down our throats with mega haste!

Liepa Weekend

Yo, Liepa came to visit for the weekend. We can't do much cause we're baby sitting, it's pretty hard to find a baby sitter on the weekend, so I don't even try unless it's like my birthday or something. Liepa wanted to watch Hannibal, but, shocking as it might be, said she hadn't seen Silence of the Lambs, so I said you gotta see that first. So we put that on for ten minutes till she realized she had seen it and moved to Hannibal, which she passed out watching.

In the morning I made kefir pancakes, which were scrumptious, and mimosas. I said, what are we going to do now, she said, well the first thing is pick out what five movies we're going to watch today. Shwe chose Hannibal, 300, Thank You for Smoking, and Resevoir Dogs. Then we went to market and got a bunch of food, and got some Chinese turkey on the way home. Washed that down with some brewskies. Yeah.

Naps. Playing cards. Eating Dijon Tarragon Chicken, wines, going to church on Sunday, blah blah blah, the end.

Spell Checker

You ever write something in Word, and you get a red underlining indicating that it's misspelled? And then you look at the word and you can't figure out what's wrong with it? That happened to me this morning when I was writing about boybotting. I got all frustrated. How could Word not know the word boybotting?! That's a perfectly normal word. I'm sitting there, writing a letter about boybotting products from China, and my thought process is totally destroyed by retarted Microsoft Word. I thought, it's my own stupid fault for stopping my boybot of Microsoft products, maybe I should start boybotting them too, go back to good old Apple computers. Well, just for the hell of it, I right-clicked the word...oh, boycotting! That's what I meant.

Why read new books when I've already read all the good ones?

I've gotten out of the habit of reading good books. Last night I started reading for the fourth or fifth time the greatest book ever, Tai Pan by James Clavell. I know that I'm not in the habit anymore, because I don't keep my eyes on the same line the whole way through. You know when you're reading something entertaining but like whatever, by Janet Evanovich, you can just read like half of every other line and that's plenty to keep the story going? Well, not with a great book like this.

It's a classic, which means it gets better each time you read it. Other books like that are others in his Asian saga, any fiction by Ayn Rand, the best of Heinlein including Stranger in a Strange Land and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, some stuff by Ludlum like the Bourne Identity, the founding trilogy and the twins trilogy of the Dragon Lance series, some of the short stories by Salinger, Poe, and Hemingway.

Ever had a falling out with a book? When I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, I loved it so much I decided I'd read it once a year for the rest of my life. Well, it's been about ten years and I've made good on my promise exactly zero times. Over the same time period I've read repeatedly books that I didn't fall so head over heels for. Well

Spoiler Warning--and I'm not talking about a device for changing the airflow past a moving vehicle, often having the form of a transverse fin or blade

Hey American Beauty, good movie, huh? I saw it for the first time last night. I tend to admire the people in movies who should be bad examples, I admired Kevin Spacey and Mena Suvari, and sort of Peter Gallagher. I especially liked when Spacey smashed the asparagus dish on the wall because his wife interrupted him, but I was glad my special lady didn't notice how much I enjoyed that. I was sad he got killed and wished to know how everything ended, maybe I should read the book.

One thing I don't completely get, even after talking to Liepa, is the gaytastic kiss, then Chris Cooper shoots Spacey. I thought, okay, he killed Spacey cause he paid Wes Bentley—his son—to give him blowjobs. Fair enough, but why'd he have to kiss him first? I thought, at the moment, what, is he testing to see if Bentley was telling him the truth? But then it can't be that, cause then he wouldn't have killed him when he finds out Spacey is not gay. Liepa said it's cause Cooper is gay, he's just always hated himself for being gay. But so then why did he kill him? Anger at being rejected? That doesn't seem quite right.

While trying to find a quick answer to this question, I found this ridiculous site: ChildCare Action Project: Christian Analysis of American Culture (CAP).

We all took turns being under the weather this weekend, so:

We watched these awesome movies: Rambo: First Blood Part II, Being John Malkovich, The Big Tease, March of the Penguines (twice), Envy, awesome.

I bought fresh pumpkin and made pumpkin bread, delicious. First time. Also a first was making Icebox oatmeal cookies, which are not bad, but they make up for their quality by convenience.

I had the longest conversation of my life, with a man no less, Darius, though I guess that's subject to debate: one hour, fourteen minutes, and forty-nine seconds!

Ate Chinese sesame chicken, salmon with wild rice&peas and everybody's fav brussel sprouts, buttermilk pancakes, bacon egg and cheese sandsiches, chicken sandwiches, and moussaka. Just kidding about the last one, but I forgot what we ate Friday.

Went to the gym a whopping once.

And I thought this week would be hectic!

I'm having one of those days I have about three or four times a year, when I sort out and file all the piles of paper that have accumulated around me, water my work plant, reorganize my folders, remove my coffee maker from my desk (I quit drinking coffee in June), clip my fingernails and brush my teeth with my work tooth brush, wash off my work knife (with spit and toilet paper), and catch up on the constant tasks I have. One of the things I have to do now is decide to whom I can regift the stupid knick-knacks that have surrounded me since my last house-cleaning. It has to be someone I don't work with...

My colleague that shares this office with me said to another colleague when they walked in, "Am I dreaming or is Vebra cleaning?!"

I can't remember what I wanted to post about today

It was gonna be good, but so anyway, I'll post about this: Lonesome Dove is an awesome movie. Anybody like Robert Duvall? Well, if you haven't seen him lonesome, you haven't seen him at all. And what about falling on your back? I bet nobody likes that, huh? Well, this movie might floor you, but in the good way.

Nightmare about Paul Giamatti

The persecuter in my nightmare last night was Paul Giamatti. I left my car in a garage at a mall (there are no such garages in LT, but anyway) and went in. Then I remember that I left the car unlocked. That's no big deal, as long as I have my keys, cell phone, and wallet. But wait, I left my wallet on the passenger seat! Crap! I go back and find I've been robbed. The money and credit cards have been stolen. I bring the wallet to the receptionist to file a complaint or report or whatever, and it's Paul Giamatti. I show him what's left in it and explain what's missing. He writes it up in a report for the police, and then takes a closer look at my credit card. "This is expired," he tell me. Yeah, so? "So I can't give it back to you, it's no longer valid." I start arguing about it with him, I get very upset because to get it renewed from Lithuania I have to be able to send it in the the CT DMV by post; we argue for the rest of the dream, and then I wake up.

Soy Russian!

I got some soy milk just to try this weekend. I was all excited about writing a post about how disgusting it...unfortunately, it was delicious! I liked and and my special baby too. There was one person who didn't like it, so I used her left overs to make a soy milk white russian: awesome!

One question though: is it really supposed to contain fructose???

Interesting concept

What's really intersting is to see Slatecard now, when they've raised less than a thousand bucks. Now where did I put my credit card...?

Is it okay to wear pants to work that have a huge hole in the crotch?

Cause almost a year ago, I started putting on alot of weight, as I went through working 4 jobs at once, writing my master's paper, getting married, and spending three gluttonous weeks in the states. The result of this is that my legs got so fat my inner thighs rub against each other and wear out the crotches of my pants, even my jeans. Luckily, my suit pants are alright, since when I was so busy I often didn't have time to put a suit on, but all my jeans are crotchless now.

Dos and Don'ts of a Trip to Latvija

• Do bake cookies for your colleagues on the bus
• Don't use 4 minutes mixed oats instead of 1 minutes instant oats for oatmeal-raisin cookies
• Don't order anything with mushroom sauce in Biržai
• Do give them your Lugan passport at the border, the U.S. one will need to be checked for 10 minutes
• Don't stay anyplace besides where i stayed, if you like a fantastic breakfast, a fifteen foot three room single with a giant bed, flat screen tv, and free wifi.
• Do bring your laptop to the seminar, it'll get boring at the end, boring (I'm writing this during the Belorussian's speech)
• Don't save room for lunch during the first coffee break, the croissant sandwiches are way better than the buffet lunch (also when the Latvian told us about lunch he pronounced the T in "buffet lunch")
• Do drink on the bus on the way home

Dos and Don'ts of a Trip to Cyprus

• Do spend your long layover in Prague in the corner booth at KFC, it has an outlet, with something from duty free
• Don't bring any umbrellas
• Do bring a variety of shorts
• Don't bring any suit jackets
• Do bring an adapter, they got stupid-style plugs
• Don't take anybody seriously, they're all jokers
• Do try to stay in a hotel on the beach, but not necessarily Lenios Bitch Hotel (if you like clean rooms with running toilets and internet)
• Don't fill up on the first 19 courses at dinner
• Do get ready to stuff yourself with the 20th course: "shifty yeah!" It's delicious beef balls.
• Don't leave room for dessert, it's made from soap...we ate it just to be polite, but we couldn't help from looking at each other trying to figure out another solution.
• Do ask the waiter to buy some of the house wine, he'll give you a bottle as a gift!
• Don't wait till the afternoon to buy anything from the fruit market, they're closed.
• Do call ahead wherever you want to go, other places are closed at weird times too.
• Don't be afraid to save wine bottles from hitting the airport floor with your bare ankle; the bottles will be worth the bruise.
• Do bring your special lady!