Spoiler Warning--and I'm not talking about a device for changing the airflow past a moving vehicle, often having the form of a transverse fin or blade

Hey American Beauty, good movie, huh? I saw it for the first time last night. I tend to admire the people in movies who should be bad examples, I admired Kevin Spacey and Mena Suvari, and sort of Peter Gallagher. I especially liked when Spacey smashed the asparagus dish on the wall because his wife interrupted him, but I was glad my special lady didn't notice how much I enjoyed that. I was sad he got killed and wished to know how everything ended, maybe I should read the book.

One thing I don't completely get, even after talking to Liepa, is the gaytastic kiss, then Chris Cooper shoots Spacey. I thought, okay, he killed Spacey cause he paid Wes Bentley—his son—to give him blowjobs. Fair enough, but why'd he have to kiss him first? I thought, at the moment, what, is he testing to see if Bentley was telling him the truth? But then it can't be that, cause then he wouldn't have killed him when he finds out Spacey is not gay. Liepa said it's cause Cooper is gay, he's just always hated himself for being gay. But so then why did he kill him? Anger at being rejected? That doesn't seem quite right.

While trying to find a quick answer to this question, I found this ridiculous site: ChildCare Action Project: Christian Analysis of American Culture (CAP).

We all took turns being under the weather this weekend, so:

We watched these awesome movies: Rambo: First Blood Part II, Being John Malkovich, The Big Tease, March of the Penguines (twice), Envy, awesome.

I bought fresh pumpkin and made pumpkin bread, delicious. First time. Also a first was making Icebox oatmeal cookies, which are not bad, but they make up for their quality by convenience.

I had the longest conversation of my life, with a man no less, Darius, though I guess that's subject to debate: one hour, fourteen minutes, and forty-nine seconds!

Ate Chinese sesame chicken, salmon with wild rice&peas and everybody's fav brussel sprouts, buttermilk pancakes, bacon egg and cheese sandsiches, chicken sandwiches, and moussaka. Just kidding about the last one, but I forgot what we ate Friday.

Went to the gym a whopping once.

And I thought this week would be hectic!

I'm having one of those days I have about three or four times a year, when I sort out and file all the piles of paper that have accumulated around me, water my work plant, reorganize my folders, remove my coffee maker from my desk (I quit drinking coffee in June), clip my fingernails and brush my teeth with my work tooth brush, wash off my work knife (with spit and toilet paper), and catch up on the constant tasks I have. One of the things I have to do now is decide to whom I can regift the stupid knick-knacks that have surrounded me since my last house-cleaning. It has to be someone I don't work with...

My colleague that shares this office with me said to another colleague when they walked in, "Am I dreaming or is Vebra cleaning?!"

I can't remember what I wanted to post about today

It was gonna be good, but so anyway, I'll post about this: Lonesome Dove is an awesome movie. Anybody like Robert Duvall? Well, if you haven't seen him lonesome, you haven't seen him at all. And what about falling on your back? I bet nobody likes that, huh? Well, this movie might floor you, but in the good way.

Nightmare about Paul Giamatti

The persecuter in my nightmare last night was Paul Giamatti. I left my car in a garage at a mall (there are no such garages in LT, but anyway) and went in. Then I remember that I left the car unlocked. That's no big deal, as long as I have my keys, cell phone, and wallet. But wait, I left my wallet on the passenger seat! Crap! I go back and find I've been robbed. The money and credit cards have been stolen. I bring the wallet to the receptionist to file a complaint or report or whatever, and it's Paul Giamatti. I show him what's left in it and explain what's missing. He writes it up in a report for the police, and then takes a closer look at my credit card. "This is expired," he tell me. Yeah, so? "So I can't give it back to you, it's no longer valid." I start arguing about it with him, I get very upset because to get it renewed from Lithuania I have to be able to send it in the the CT DMV by post; we argue for the rest of the dream, and then I wake up.

Soy Russian!

I got some soy milk just to try this weekend. I was all excited about writing a post about how disgusting it...unfortunately, it was delicious! I liked and and my special baby too. There was one person who didn't like it, so I used her left overs to make a soy milk white russian: awesome!

One question though: is it really supposed to contain fructose???

Interesting concept

What's really intersting is to see Slatecard now, when they've raised less than a thousand bucks. Now where did I put my credit card...?

Is it okay to wear pants to work that have a huge hole in the crotch?

Cause almost a year ago, I started putting on alot of weight, as I went through working 4 jobs at once, writing my master's paper, getting married, and spending three gluttonous weeks in the states. The result of this is that my legs got so fat my inner thighs rub against each other and wear out the crotches of my pants, even my jeans. Luckily, my suit pants are alright, since when I was so busy I often didn't have time to put a suit on, but all my jeans are crotchless now.

Dos and Don'ts of a Trip to Latvija

• Do bake cookies for your colleagues on the bus
• Don't use 4 minutes mixed oats instead of 1 minutes instant oats for oatmeal-raisin cookies
• Don't order anything with mushroom sauce in Biržai
• Do give them your Lugan passport at the border, the U.S. one will need to be checked for 10 minutes
• Don't stay anyplace besides where i stayed, if you like a fantastic breakfast, a fifteen foot three room single with a giant bed, flat screen tv, and free wifi.
• Do bring your laptop to the seminar, it'll get boring at the end, boring (I'm writing this during the Belorussian's speech)
• Don't save room for lunch during the first coffee break, the croissant sandwiches are way better than the buffet lunch (also when the Latvian told us about lunch he pronounced the T in "buffet lunch")
• Do drink on the bus on the way home

Dos and Don'ts of a Trip to Cyprus

• Do spend your long layover in Prague in the corner booth at KFC, it has an outlet, with something from duty free
• Don't bring any umbrellas
• Do bring a variety of shorts
• Don't bring any suit jackets
• Do bring an adapter, they got stupid-style plugs
• Don't take anybody seriously, they're all jokers
• Do try to stay in a hotel on the beach, but not necessarily Lenios Bitch Hotel (if you like clean rooms with running toilets and internet)
• Don't fill up on the first 19 courses at dinner
• Do get ready to stuff yourself with the 20th course: "shifty yeah!" It's delicious beef balls.
• Don't leave room for dessert, it's made from soap...we ate it just to be polite, but we couldn't help from looking at each other trying to figure out another solution.
• Do ask the waiter to buy some of the house wine, he'll give you a bottle as a gift!
• Don't wait till the afternoon to buy anything from the fruit market, they're closed.
• Do call ahead wherever you want to go, other places are closed at weird times too.
• Don't be afraid to save wine bottles from hitting the airport floor with your bare ankle; the bottles will be worth the bruise.
• Do bring your special lady!

Alice? Who the fuck is Alice?!

I don't know if everybody in the States knows the Ray Brown dirty version of the song Living Next Door to Alice, but nobody in Riga does. I know this cause when Uncle Bob and I were there eight years ago and shouted along the dirty part in an ourside beer garden, every Latvian in the house was staring at us.

I remember this today because the cabbie this morning on the way to work was playing it. I asked him if he'd drive me back home first so I could copy it; he just lent it to me.

Now, if you like shenanigans with paper and pencil, check this out!

Brussel Sprouts Have Landed

I consider my greatest achievements in the kitchen to be preparing something my special lady likes that she never liked till I made it for her. These have included brocolli, fish, corn and bell peppers. Onions too, but I add those secretly so she doesn't realize yet that she has grown fond of onions. The trickest so far has been brussel sprouts. Steamed, baked, boiled, parboiled, buttered, cheese-covered, salted, salted-buttered, cheese-buttered...no luck! Finally I managed to serve them up so she liked 'em yesterday:

1. warm 3T olive oil in a pan on medium low temp
2. immediatly add 1T red pepper flakes (I would have thrown in a garlic clove but I couldn't find one)
3. when they start to blacken, remove them with a flat spatule
4. add so much breadcrumbs that they soak up all the oil; if you add too much add some butter to soak the remainder
5. if sensitive to the sound of wook scraping on metal, insert earplugs
6. work the mass around a bit with the spatula
7. add cored, halved brussel sprouts and continue working around; add 1t salt; cover for a minute and work around and cover, work, cover, work, cover, work for 6 minutes

She totally like it.

My Own Backyard

I found a list of the top ten diners in America to use for a class about English speaking countries and their cultures. Here's one that I can reminisce about getting breakfast at:

O'Rourke's
728 Main Street, Middletown, Connecticut
860-346-6101

At the far end of Middletown's Main Street, O'Rourke's is a 1946 silver-sided treasure with counter stools and worn-smooth marble counter. Although it's old and a bit rickety-looking, it is a head-turner of gleaming stainless steel, as well as a fantastic place to eat. The menu includes mid-Connecticut's unique steamed cheeseburgers, southwestern dishes made with chili that chef Brian O'Rourke imports from New Mexico, and local shad roe in the spring, when he barters meals to get the best of local fishermen's catch. Waffles, pancakes, and French toast (made from freshly baked bread) make Sunday brunch especially good, but expect to wait for a seat.

Golfing is the Sport of Whom? Rich People.

We got a free pass to the driving range and a lesson that I used last weekend. My special lady was busy, so I took Tadas Vyšniauskas with me. It was hell getting there, it's in the middle of nowhere, we literally had to spend a while going down a dirt road. He'd never played before, and I haven't played for many years. We did alright though, me hitting 150 with the driver about half the time. He hit it that well sometimes too, and we each almost hit the 200 mark once.

On the putting green he thought he'd best me, so we bet a beer on it. I won that one. Then we bet on who could get it in from a certain distance with less strokes, and I won that too. I lost the rematch, so we had some beer buying for each other on the schedule.

Anyway, can you imagine how expensive it is to actually golf? Before you can golf you have to pass a test and get a green card, which costs 900 litas, that's $340. After you pay that, if you want to become a member, it'll be $14,000. This is in a country where the average wage is $600 a month.

A Fountain of Knowledge

We tried one of these drinking games with Animal House last night...fun!

I lost my lunch...literally!

Well not exactly, but I left it at home twice in one morning...how stupid is that? I made a tuna sandwich and packed it with half a liter of tomato juice in my cooler-lunchbox. Then I went to work without it. At 10:15 I had to drop off the car at the mechanic and take a cab back to work. The mechanic's close to home, so I decided to stop by and grab my lunch and some papers. I grabbed the papers and forgot the lunch again! What the hell! Now I'm gonna have to have a tuna sandwich for dinner instead of tacos! That sucks! Tacos're way better!! Dammit!!!

p.s. I had the sandwich as soon as I got home and the tacos a couple hours later...

Adding Spinach to Dune Casserole is a good way to get more Spinach in your diet

One thing I forgot from Darius and Ellen's wedding is this. See, Darius was planning to wear a tux, so I was too. He changed his mind with several days left, but we were already on route, and my special lady had planned to match my level of elegance...with just the luggage we had, we couldn't change. So oddly, the the most formal wardrobe that evening wasn't worn at the alter, it was at the Krupnikas Toast.

So this camera man came up to me early on and asked me if I'm the groom. Of course I say, "Yes."

He explains that he works for the vinyard we're at and they are making a promotional ad about the place a site for weddings. Would I give him permission to film some of the festivities and use it for the vignette? I respond, "Will I be able to get a copy of the raw footage?"

He guesses I will. "Well, there's a few things I'd really like included, then," I explain, "which you probably won't use for your movie, but I'd like in the raw footage you'll give me. It won't take long. Just get a decent shot of all the good cleavage in the house. Then I'll point out a few guys, you go up behind them and kick them in the ass, and film their indignation; tell them it's all part of the show. Okay?"

Shocked, he mutters about just wanting some candid shots. "Well, if you want something so humdrum, I'm not interested. Why don't you ask the real groom? He's right over there!"

I haven't had any straight soda (or pop for you goofuses)

besides rootbeer in many years, but I might start if Lithuania starts importing this one.

Coffee's for Suckers...and people who wake up early

After two months of no coffee this summer, I decided if I'm ever going to quit drinking coffee it'll be much better now than later. I was afraid that as soon as I started working, I'd need it. But I didn't. Until today. I was fine with tea until today. Today I had to get up as 6 a.m. (God, no!) I've had two strong cups of black tea, but at 10:40 I'm already brewing a third. Yawn. I have a colleague who used to drink coffee alot and quit, she inspired me to do this, pretty much. Well, I hope it doesn't take too much longer. However, my schedules getting a little jumbled around, and it looks like my early classes will probably get moved. I'll never have to wake up so early again!

Watch TV or Beware!

Next time a special somebody, I don't know, possibly let's say your wife, turns the TV down so quiet you can't hardly hear it, just turn it back up when she goes to the bathroom. DO NOT turn it off and just start reading diet books about good nutrition right before bedtime. You'll end up having nightmares about Flavanoids and Polysomethings and Ascorbic Acid and Carotenoids and Folate and Omega 3 Fatty Acids. If you don't fall asleep and have nightmares about them, you'll lay awake tossing and turning, wondering how the hell you can possibly get blueberries and spinich into your diet every day! I'm telling you...just put the TV back on...