"Yo, God is good, and He wants you to be good too, and if you're not He's gonna come down here and bust your freakin skull!"--New Yorker priest in Family Guy
What my priest at the Holy Stanislaw Church in Riešė said was almost as good as that. We had the little procession around the church, went inside, listened to the hymn while the priest did the incense around the front. Then the priest comes up to the pulpit and says "Nu, viskas." (Well, that's all.) Everybody looks at him and around in disbelief; it's only been 20 minutes. "What, you want more? You want a prayer?" Yes, everybody shouts! "You just want a prayer, or do you want some holy water?!" Yes yes, holy water! "I see, you're not here for the prayers at all, you just want me to bless your food, eh?" (Many people had brought easter eggs to church to be blessed) Yes, bless our food! "Alright, fine, but don't say I didn't warn you!"
The priest then proceeded to walk around literally dousing everybody with holy water. But hey, we were in and out in thirty minutes with no alms-giving. Can't beat that!
2 comments:
Yeah, i thought easter mass was supposed to be short. Our mass was an hour and half. What a gip. Instead of going to church i wanted to stay home and watch the history channel. They were running shows about jeusus all day. The one about the 10 commandments was kind of pointless. The one about some guy who thinks he has found the lost of the covenant was completely stupid. He was just a crackpot. The one abou biblical disasters, was kind of interesting, except i had already seen it. The most interesting part was when God kills 70,000 people because David improperly filled out the census. He was supposed to count based on donations to the state coffers and instead he did a head count, so God sent a plague to punish all the citizens. Talk about busting your freakin skull.
get that on tivo next time and record it for me, sounds pretty entertaining.
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