Thanksgiving Day (Saturday)

My mother had had Thanksgiving dinner with her friends Thursday before I could be there (it's not a holiday here) so Saturday we just had new stuffing and the rest leftovers: turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce, brusselsprouts, apple pie, and pumpkin cheese cake. It was totally delish.

We talked alot about my students and also about Ukraine. The problem with the students is that they have been raised to cheat and lie, which I will not allow. But, as this is something they are utterly unprepared for, I must be gentle about it. It's not easy.

The problem with Ukraine is fraudulent elections. The incumbent Russian-backed government not only rigged the election that just took place, they've also flown in Russian special forces in the name of peacekeeping, but who subsequently changed into Ukrainian uniforms so that their actions couldn't be traced back to Russia (so they're planning atrocities). And, that's not even all: "somebody's" been poisoning the opposition candidate (who is western minded and concerned with the future of Ukraine instead of the future of Russia).

This is a very intersting situation and I urge you to keep an eye out for it; it's in the new york times every day.

Thanksgiving Weekend: Friday

I went to Vilnius to have Thanksgiving with my mother.

First, though, Cedric and I went out Friday night with two beauties--Juste and Simona--to a funk concert at Artistai. It was packed. The only reason we were able to get in was because ther were holding seats for us.

The music was good, but there was no room to dance. I went out to dance a few times anyway with Simona and once with Juste.

Cedric and I had one or two or six gin and tonics each. This led to three dumb things happening.
--A mix up about bills that was Cedric's fault with his imperfect English, but which made me look like an asshole cause I was the one translating his mistakes to the waitress.
--Once she brought the girls their drinks and I said with mock indignation "what about us?!" Then I looked down and saw that she had brought our drinks several minutes ago, I had mixed them myself, and already started drinking mine.
--Cedric blacked out during a conversation with Simona--who was really quite stunningly pretty--which lasted over an hour and gave me the impression that they were becoming more than friends. As it turns out, he is unable to confirm or disconfirm this impression, having no recollection of the end of the concert nor of the next bar we went to.

And then something happened that made me think: "Only in Vilnius!" I saw across the floor in the middle of the concert (It took us five minutes to cross fifteen feet towards each other) a friends from VU whom I had not seen in three years. We immediatly recognized each other and went to greet each other. Last I had seen Erin, he had disappeared without a trace for over six months and Koon was left to explain to their land lord that he has no fuckin clue where his tenent is. He's doing well now though (Erin, not Koon; well, Koon too), and I'm about to email him.

Um, Cedric...Is This Gay Night?!

Having gone out Wednesday and gone home after one beer (well, and three at home first), we decided to do something unusual: go out Thursday night. We couldn't drink beer again, and we don't drink hard liquer on weeknights (or week days), so it was wine time. Wine is friggin expensive in LT though, so we decided to make some kind of french wine cocktail: cheap-ass wine and lemonade. It was actaully quite good, just hard to stomach in large quantities.

We went to Honolulu, despite a warning from Jurgis that it would be dead. It was far from it: lots of people, almost as many as on the weekend. There were several of the same people there that were there last Friday when Gedas, Donatas and I went, including a stundent, Beautiful Lesbian and some of her lesbian friends. Then I saw the gay hair stylist we'd talked to once and some other gay men with him. Then I looked around...

"Um, Cedric...do you notice anything out of the ordinary?"

"Yeah there's alot of homosexuals here!"

I don't think it's official, because it was about 40% hetero, but there were at least 30 gay people there, men and women. This is in a country where just six years ago they didn't believe in homosexuality--as in, they thought it was just a creation of Hollywood. I had told Gedas and Domas Vysniauskas about the gay student body at Wesleyan and they thought I was crazy.

It was fun though. I realized why they got the name "gay": "Showing or characterized by cheerfulness and lighthearted excitement; merry. " (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gay)

Beautiful Lesbian did a double take and noticed me, smiled, and came over and danced with me for a song. She a very fun dancer, but there was this other lesbian who totally knocked my socks off. This girl moved in ways that seemed impossible, with so much zest that it was actually intimidating.

So it was tons of fun, even though the staight hotties were few and far between. Also I met a drunk ass Swede named Magnum. How great is that for a name? I gotta name a kid that...

P.S. One of the gay guys totally looked like Derek Pearlman, whose surname I couldn't remember last night, I just kept thinking Jeter, Derek Jeter...

We left at one thirty, and on the way I noticed Beautiful Lesbian getting something out of her coat and going to sit by the window as I walked out the door. I made a point of looking through the window as I walked by it till we made eye contact and I waved Goodbye. She waved too. And smiled.

At home we had a night cap, I won a game of Buck Euchre, and we argued for a while about whether sexuality is black and white (Cedric) or if there is gray area (I) between homo-, bi-, and heterosexuality.

A Miracle!

Yesterday on the way home from college I left my hat in the microbus before meeting Cedric at Iki for our daily grocery shopping. We spent alot of money this time--46 lits--because we bought several sauces that last a long time: tobasco, soy, and bbq. And the dinner plan was tomato soup and chicken club sandwiches; chicken and bacon are both expensive.

Leaving Iki I told Cedric about my hat when I saw him put his on. We talked about how in Vilnius it would be impossible, but maybe in Klaipeda, because it's smaller, it might be possible to get it back. But I had no idea how to call up the central place, and we knew that tomorrow would be too late. The only possible way I would see my hat again is if that same microbus had reached its destination, turned around for another lap, and drove by us on our short walk home.

Low and behold, there she was. I flagged her down, stepped in and said, "excuse me, I don't suppuse you found a black hat with white stripes right down there...?" He went back and got it out of a secret storage compartment for me.

Not only did I cross paths with the same microbus again twenty minutes later, but someone--in Lithuania!--had been honest enough not to keep it, and then he had been honest enough to give it back to me!

That's what I call a miracle. I need to get two more to be a saint, right?

Feeling smarter...or so I thought

By Wednesday I was feeling remarkably better, as if I haven't drank since Saturday, which is true except for a couple glasses of wine last night. I went into one of my ESL classes and asked them about their homework, an assignment listing a few things they want to learn to talk about in English. One of the students replied "leisure time." I replied that I ask them about leisure time every Monday: "How was your weekend, what did you do, where did you go?" He said that most students are too lazy to volunteer to chat. I replied, "So? Let them be silent and let's talk about your fuckin' weekend." After a still moment--I don't know who was more shocked, they or I--with my head down and a hand over my eyes, "I'm sorry. I...don't know what I was thinking...just...sorry...nothing personal, really...I didn't mean anything by that!" And someone spoke up, "don't worry about it, we know everybody talks like that!"

Is that what's called a "brain-fart?" I've never been exactly clear on that term...

And there was Saturday for a little while...

Saturday Donatas left and Juste arrived. And Cedric came back from Vilnius after having had a half liter of vodka for breakfast because he woke up first and was bored (WHAT?!?!). We had a few beers when cedric got home. When they were gone we threw darts for who would go pick up the second round from the corner store--one throw each (gedas threw twice)--and Cedric lost, so he had to go back again. He was lucky to hit the board though, he sucks at darts. Then we talked about time travel for a while. Cedric admitted that I made an excellent argument for its impossibility, barring the credibility of "back to the future," and Gedas just got pissed off about a topic that couldn't be proven without using philosophy. then we left to go get food. To eat we went to a bar called "Gedas is a Fucken Fountain of Knowledge and Can't Help Me Write Anything." The food was good and cheap--ten lits for a pork schnitzel, which I just realized is what I ate the night before also. But the waitress had no idea what was going on with the menu. "What does that mean 'American' spare ribs," I asked. Her response was "the hell do I know?!" But she was friendly/funny enough about it that I still tipped her. The food was totally good. And the bathroom was awesome. They had the sound of ocean waves playing and the whole place was lit with florecent green lights! Trippy...
On the way to meet Juste at the bus station we stopped at Onyx to say "hi" to Rita and Saidas and Jurgis, but they weren't there. So we said "hi" to the waitstaff who recognized me and Cedric as regulars and walked right out the door.

Also on the way to meet Juste we stopped at the same shop Cedric and I bought beers at last Wednesday. This time we bought, per Gedo suggestion, "something stronger." As per my suggestion it was gin. Also we bought tonic, and I dumped out one third (which angered Gedas) to make room to dump in the gin. Hey man, gin isn't to be glugged with a chaser; gin is for excellent cocktails, like martinis and such. Also gin & tonics. Whether we drink them out of fine glasses or a big plastic bottle for three guys walking down the street doesn't diminish the importance of this rule.

We were waiting for Juste at the station and she called me to say she was there too. Where? Outside. So I went outside and screamed at the tip top of my lungs "JUSTE!? JUSTE!? JUSTE!?" while walking around the building. I found her after three times and gave her some cocktail.

We went to a place I call "1994." I call it that cause that's when it was built and I don't know the actual name of the place. It was closed though. It was sad, cause I never been there and I wanted to see what it was like. I guess it's like one of those places that closes at 11pm.

Then we went to Boogie Woogie. We ordered gin & tonics, and again the waitress was clueless. This time she was not friendly at all, and was even indignant when we asked her to find out the price before we orded--no tip, which is a tip in itself: be friendier! Cedric twice ordered cooked black breadsticks with cheese, a typical hors d'oeuvre in Lithuania, especially with beer. His pronounciation was atypical however: both times he turned "keptos duonos su suriu" into "kepta duona shu shuriu!" Totally funny for the native Lithuanians and me.

After a while, for some reason Gedas shook out a little salt into everybody's drinks except his own. I decided to go into the revenge business. I took the pepper shaker when nobody was looking. I waited for the perfect moment when Gedas wasn't paying attention to hi cocktail. Then, vengence was mine: I leaned over and dumped not only ALL the pepper into his drink, but the pepper shaker as well. Then I ran away to the bathroom laughing hysterically. When I came back he said I owed him a drink, so I gave him mine and drank his. It was totally drinkable, just like Pepper Smirnoff Gin.

So I hope you've all learned a valuble lesson: an entire pepper shaker's worth of pepper is a perfectly cromulent ingredient in a gin & tonic!

Feeling stupid

Man, i feel like a pile of crap. Did you know that the only natural enemy of "a hole" is "a pile?" I am indeed that enemy. Holes beware!

Gedas and Donatas came up Friday, and after pork chops, salad, freedom fries, and beer, we played darts and drank vodka tonics. Cedric and I had bought this great dart board at maxima for five lits. the darts are magnetic insead of sharp, and they constantly slide down the board making the game "more challenging (not more stupider)." Then we went to onyx for more vodka tonics, and then to Honolulu.

I got the first round. I tried to explain that I wanted two vodka tonics but that one bottle of tonic would suffice. As a result I got two double vodkas and one tonic. And a beer for Donatas.

They totally fell in love with Honolulu. They called it a "fifa club." A fifa is a women who gets all decked out with high heels and done up hair and make up and other kinds of flashiness. Also, there were like fourteen lesbians there (odd), and most of them where somewhere between hot-hot and drop dead gorgeous. I danced with one of the drop dead ones for a while (I think she danced with every good looking person in the club--men and women).

And I realized something about lesbians. Dancing with them is awesome. Not only do they dance with a distinct allure (you want what you know you can't have), but there is also an added thrill of them wanting to dance with you. Possibly just to tease you. Let's assume it's not just that. Even if it is it's still fun. But let's say it's not. Heterosexual women want to dance with me for two reasons: they like how I dance; they want to get it on with me. If they want to get it on with me that's super, but I think them liking how I dance is an even bigger compliment. And a lesbian would not dance with me for the first reason (At least I have not been so lucky...yet). So dancing with a beautiful lesbian for even two minutes is quite a thrill.

There was something else i discovered about life friday night. if i remember what it is i'll post another post. Also, we bought more vodka on the way home. And then we totally imbibed it!

The end of Student Month

So that's why all the students left at noon yesterday, though with no activities planned, just "Go Home Early Day." I spent the afternoon catching up on correcting papers.

I also took papers home to correct, which I did after eating cedric's quiche with ham and cheese inside whilst having a beer and screaming along with the radio and banging on my desk with my fists (I was excited about hump day).

It was supposed to be a regular hump day, go out around ten, be back by one. alas, it was not so. we left at only 11, and after a while of beer and dancing at Memelis we were ready for anything.

An older man, quite stout in the stomach region, got up from the table next to us and started taking off his sport coat, preparing to hit the dance floor, when suddenly instead he hit the regular floor with his face. taking his coat off was too much for this drunk bastard; he almost had it, but right at the end he toppled over, taking two chairs and an adjacent table with him.

the efficiency of the waitress was remarkable. with exactly zero hesitation she sprinted down the stairs to get a couple guards. the guy was still on the floor when they arrived. he could not get up at all. his buddies had given 20 lits to the guys at the other table to pay for their drinks. the guards dragged him out while he argued some surely ridiculous point, one of his friends helping him argue and trying to call somebody for assistance. it was quite exciting.

more dancing, and cedric talked to a french teacher from KL University. the guy told him that because of student day the place to be tonight was global, a club we'd never been to but had intended on visiting. we were drunk enough to make the trip.

first, though, we had to finish our beers. and one last good song came on, so i got up to dance, and so did cedric--or tried to anyway. as he got up he put so much weight on the table that it tipped over taking him and our beers with it. being the close friend that i am, i pretended not to know him. i kept an eye out in case he needed an interpriter, but he cleaned things up fast enough that nobody bothered him.

we walked to global (20 minutes or so) and had a beer on the way. we talked about various things that to me were totally funny and to him were totally disgusting but sort of funny at the same time.

global was good. ten lits to get in (five for students), but the beer was only five lits, with is good for a club. there were two dance halls, one playing techno and the other paying pop, like M1 style. rather crowded though, but not so much that it sucked.

we danced alot and *almost* picked up women a couple times. since i enjoy dancing all by itself that's okay. we drank several more beers, turned into inebriates, and left unknowingly about to behold the most beautiful thing possible: it was snowing!

we couldn't believe it, it was gorgeous, it was grand. i shouted about it all the way down janonio gatve. i think several people we passed recognized us as winos, but this did not diminish our fantastic mood. this was only the third time in cedrics life that he had seen snow.

we got in a minibus that took us only to the end of our street, leaving us half a kilometer to walk. the snow was still beautiful, but now it was cold and combersome (if you're drunk) to walk though. so for this entire walk home i tried hailing several cabs to drive us to the end of the block, but none stopped.

finally hit the sack at 3:45. My alarm went off at 7:00, and now it was my turn to knock something over. in my hast to turn it off, i tumbled over a chair doing a summersault while holding the chair. i laid on of the ground for a bit, unable to comprehend what was going on.

but i made it to work on time-ish.

Some kind of holiday...and a Lithaunian Oddity...and a bitter sweet dream

This morning I tried to wake up at six to get an hour of correcting papers in before coming to work. It didn't work, as I'm a bit under the weather. I got up at seven instead and came to work and started correcting papers here and preparing material for class. I don't have classses utnil 11:40 on Wednesdays, but I always come in 8:30-9 for projects and class prep. After correcting papers, preparing a lecture on early 20th century American literature, and preparing an activity about scandals for three hours in a tremendous rush, a student came in to see me at 11:38. "Hey, did you know there's no classes after 12 today?"

"What?!"

"Yeah, students' holiday."

After checking to make sure a fool wasn't being made of me, I let her go with instructions to pick up a homework assignment tomorrow, then ran around the building finding all my other classes and giving them homework worksheets that I'd made up in those two minutes--a Christmas crossword puzzle and a Christmas word jumble.

And another thing! It keeps astounding me every day. Taking a microbus here costs 1.50LTL. they drive the same routes as buses, but stop to pick you up/let you out wherever you want. Also they're much more comfortable, and often play decent music, albeit quitely. But they funny thing is you don't have to pay as you board. You can sit down anywhere and ask people to pass your money up for you. Not only do they all do it, but the driver reaches back to take the money, and makes change for you and passes that back, after printing a receipt, while driving the bus!!!

And I had this dream last night. I was walking somewhere. It was crowded, and i had had one beer. I saw and started walking next to one of my cuter students, chatting friendlily (that's a real word). After brushing her hand against mine while walking a few times, we were holding hands. it was a bit loud, so we sort of had to lean in to talk to each other. somehow our lips occasionally brushed against each other, while talking (and still walking!), and eventually we kissed. I immediatly thought of Gedas, because he always tries to convince me that it is, in fact, okay to demand sex from my students, my position being that even consensual sex is unfortunately inappropriate. So either against my will or simply against my better judgement we kept walking, talking, holding hands and kissing, but now I was constantly scanning the crowd, making sure there aren't any other students there who might see us. Then we did see one sitting at a table with some other people and we had to sit down for a beer with them; I couldn't very well say out loud "no, we'd rather go somewhere where nobody will see us." so we sat down and ordered beers. after one sip of beer i was totally shitfaced (miraculously) and started yelling about whatever came into my head. she was squeezing my leg and stepping on my foot under the table in vain. i started pouring the sugar from the sugar bowl into my mouth, eating it all, which is odd cause i never eat sugar. when the sugar was gone, i started eating ground coffee.

This morning's tease

When I heard my alarm clock go off this morning, I thought, "what does that mean? it seems to be signaling something.....wait.....i know! it must be my birthday! hooray, yeah yeah woohoo!!! oh.....shit.....it's not my birthday.....it's nowhere near my birthday.....that horrible, wretched noise is signaling me to get my ass to work....."