Dos and Don'ts of a Trip to Turkey

1. Do make sure to check inside each suit jacket when packing to make sure the suit pants are in there on the same hanger.
2. Don't put a bottle of crazy glue in one of your shirt pockets you pack.
3. Do check on the exchange rate before leaving, so you don't accidentally take a thousand dollars out of the first ATM.
4. Don't forget your bathing suit, they're kinda expensive here, I think, but I never buy bathing suits, so I guess I wouldn't know...100 lits, is that expensive?
5. Do BYOB! The best drink they have here is "raki," which is a distinct flashback to somebody drinking NyQuil in the highschool bathroom.
6. Don't drink the water.
7. Do, when you get bored of the Turkish music after fifteen minutes, order a johnny walker and sip it with a beer chaser, that'll liven things up again.
8. Don't be afraid to dance like a Turkish man...it's surprisingly similar to the way my old man dances, and I've only seen that once.
9. Do check out the "surprise" on the final night, it'll be a belly dancer.
10. Don't leave your plane tickets and all your litai in the desk at the first hotel.
11. Do kiss the coordinator who gets them back for you.
12. Don't be surprised to spend half your time eating and gaining 18 kilos in 7 days (that's an estimate).
13. Do try the baklava, and bring your mother in law back a kilogram.
14. Don't forget to make cocktails for the road, since it's an 18 hour vagabondage home.