Article of the Day About Muppets

Speeding puppet in the front seat of a British car makes muppets of the German police, by Allan Hall

Thanks Rachel. This article is about somebody making a mockery of Sie Germans. Bravo. Nothing could be more justified in this world than egg on the face of supreme tight wads. Except I guess for shooting muggers in the kneecaps, or, if you're a robot, killing all humans.

Article of the Day

Why It’s Still a Race, by Howard Fineman

This is the most optimistic article I've read in a while. I have basically just been looking at the RCP averages, not having any idea which polls tend to be more accurate. The average has come down to 6 today from 8.5 a few days ago, which puts McCain's chances greater than Bush's four years ago, I think. Hearing that the most reliable of polls put him at trailing by just 2 points was pleasant surprise.

Also of note is the comment by Marcus Tullius after Obama's Living-Will Constitution, by George Neumayr. He's a Mormon, and apparently Mormons all take an oath to uphold the Constitution by any means necessary, the implication as I understood it being that anyone who fucks with the Constitution has an appointment with a Mormon assassin. Neato! How exciting. Never would have guessed that one.

Article of the Day About Pizza

The Great Pizza Orientation Test

Dave Stira thought this was something Lokys or I might do. I'd love to, but not with mushroom-pepperoni, that would have to be spread out all the way. I would do that with a different pizza though, getting a spicy half made for myself and a bland half for my ladies.

Article of the Day

Obama's First 100 Days
By Patrick Buchanan

Scary stuff.

Article of the Day

Obama's First 100 Days
By Patrick Buchanan

Scary stuff.

Dos and Don'ts of a Trip to Amsterdam

• Do get some cash at the ATM before getting in a cab to your hotel. 
• Don't worry if you forget to do that, you can have the hotel give you some cash on your room's bill to cover it. 
• Do explicitly forbid them at the front desk from charging you for your room ahead of time and with an exorbitant deposit that will leave you penniless. 
• Don't bother going out for dinner more than a couple times, the tapas is good and plenty. 
• Do get the lamb with rosemary sauce when you do go out to dinner at a pub style place, it so good that every bite will be the tastiest bite of anything in your life. 
• Don’t wait for your change if the atmosphere is growing oppressive: follow your instincts and get the hell out of any place that is about to collapse from the unbelievable amount of noise. 
• Do eat a giant breakfast including three fresh baked croissants and a heaping pile of bacon every day. 
• Don't walk thought the parks alone at night (that's what the receptionist told us).
• Do try everything, except the hookers!
• Don't be vague about trying the hookers, somebody might misunderstand (and think you had a bad experience with a hooker instead of no experience besides seeing them). 
• Do walk around the red light district at night.
• Don't be afraid to feel like a kid at Disney Land.
• Do take lots of pictures so nobody gets mad at you for not taking a lot of pictures again. 
• Don't skip the ice cream parlor, it’s so good while you’re eating you won’t be sure whether it’s a dream or not. 
• Do use the buddy system; it’s very reassuring to wander around with somebody else in a city with a billion identical canal crossings. 
  

Obama's Youtube Arrogance Just Became A Nightmare

The most moving and upsetting Youtube video I've ever seen.

Article of the Day

Lorne Gunter: Thirty years of warmer temperatures go poof

Thanks Loky.

Shudder

If the topic of penises doesn't suit you just stop reading right now. Loser. When I'm in the locker room at the gym I made a very good effort not to see any johnsons. As Seinfeld once said, more or less, I have a very strict limit on the number of penises I see each day besides my own: zero. Sometimes somebody just turns around too quickly for you to look at the ceiling; it happened today. Now I didn't seem much. In fact I couldn't see much, since there was hardly anything too see, literally. This guy's trouser snake was more like an inch worm, like a fuckin thimble. Oh God, it's painful to recall. Granted it was flacid (I hope, there's not much hang on a member that short!), but augh! Shudder!

Article of the Day

Beware an October surprise from bin Laden, by Joseph Nye

Interesting, not sure home much I buy it. But it leads to a very interesting question: how many innocent people would you sacrifice to get your candidate elected? As I read I started thinking, yeah, a terrorist attack right now would be so worth it. What?! I guess I've gone crazy, but as a matter of fact, many many lives depend on who gets elected. If McCain gets elected, maybe more soldiers will die at war. If the ass gets elected, hundreds of thousands of babies will die not only at abortion clinics but at hospitals as well. Given these probable fatalities (inevitable if the ass makes it), maybe it would be worth it?

I ask you, how many innocent lives would you give to get your man in the white house? And you can't specify the people's party. That would change the dynamics of the question too much.

Chrome Sucks, at the Moment

Not sure what makes browser quality change so radically, but I started using Chrome several weeks ago and it was awesome (comments). Gradually it began to slow down. Then video didn't work anymore, so I switched to Firefox for that and email, since Chrome never let me use most Yahoo keyboard shortcuts. Now it just crashes all the time. WTF? Firefox Forever!

Article of the Day

Obama's Abortion Extremism, by Robert George
Wow. Fuck him.

Who wants to join the PEN15 Club?

I guess Burn After Reading is an awesome movie. We showed up to see it yesterday an hour early to get tickets and have a beer and a bite before the show. My special lady went to get the tickets by herself, because she has a student ID and I don't. I went to order the beers and snacks. Turned out they were sold out for the 6:30 showing, and the 9:30 showing already! Man, that must be some awesome movie.

On the upside, I got to drink two beers. I would have actually preferred to do that anyplace but the movie theater, though, so big whoop.

FaceF

I appreciate Facebook for getting me back in touch with old friends and for making it easy to share photos, news, and stuff like that. But I don't really get the point of it replacing email. I mean, the way it works, for all you weirdos not on Facebook, is that I get an email that says somebody sent me a message, but to reply I have to go to Facebook and sign in and send the messege. Why don't people send me an email? Facebook is great for several things, but it's certainly not better at email than email.

Article of the Day

"Socialist" Charges from Bailout Republicans, by Eugene Robinson. I wonder if something like this could ever cause all the good Republicans left to defect to the Libertarian Party?

Thanks for Nothing You Texan Idiot, and You're No Better You Stupid New Yorker, and You from Little Rock, Just Shut the Hell Up

This isn't uncommon, but I've come across it more frequently than usual today. I'm lookin at a recipe online for Cream of Chicken Soup. Here are some of the comments on the recipe I'm considering for dinner:

What I did differently was used half a cup of 1% milk (instead of whipping cream)... used less tarragon and rosemary...omitted the potatoes, used an onion in place of leeks, and also added a touch of lemon juice.

Oh really? So you're reviewing another recipe? Thanks, that's useful...NOT! I'm still looking for a review of this recipe, so let's read on:

I was looking for the cream chicken recipe that my mother made....I don't think this is it. I think it is missing [a dozen ingredients].

So your comment is that you posted the recipe you think you were looking for, because this recipe tricked you into trying it? Thanks, that's useful...NOT! Let's see if we can ever get to the bottom of this with another review:

I thought this was just o.k...used onion instead of leeks and just felt it was lacking something.

Hmmm, I wonder what that could be...maybe LEEKS?!

Better to Teach Adults

I read a bunch of sonnets written by my students today. I'm glad they're adults, not kids; otherwise I would have to tell somebody that one sonnet, the best one, ended in patricide! If it was a kid I would have to assume it's not just fiction, to be on the safe side.

She got an extra point on the sonnet for brutality.

Article of the Day

Obama's Magic by Kimberley Strassel is quite a bingo! I love articles that are so good they make me smile a big fatty one.

Article of the Day

What Is a Right and How Do We Know? by Bill Whittle is a good one. I thought the last word was gonna be parasite, but it's even better his way. I wish more people would talk about topic.

Article of the Day about Drunkenness

Rachel turned me onto this crazy article:Google 'Mail Goggles' prevent drunken emails

I went ahead and enabled the math quiz. Two problems: 1., I finished the problems with 26 seconds left, even after double checking, on the hardest setting (level five, what the hell would level one have been, 6+7?); 2., after one quiz it let me write more emails unfettered. WTF? Just because I'm sober enough to write one email doesn't mean I'm going to stay that way!

Simpsons

Anybody else ever watch Lemon of Troy and end up saying to yourself, great episode, but I was expecting Troy McClure!

Halloween Prep

I'm going through my Octoberly custom of not shaving, just in case my Halloween costume calls for a beard. I think it may; I do have something in mind. But I'm not settled on it, as I have yet to come up with the garb. So I'm open to suggestions! If you make one I accept I'll buy you a drink.  If you suggest something I reject you have to buy me one. If you suggest what I'm already considering we'll each buy a round.

I was Borat last year, so if you suggest that again, you'll have to buy me a drink and take a penalty shot yourself!

Tip For You

In addition to these other time savers, here's another way to skim a few minutes off your morning routine: gel/wax up your hair in the car!

Article of the Day

I've always said I hope this election never ends. Now Voter Fraud Expected To Be Rampant, by John Fund, gives me hope!