Monday, March 20, 2006

Gedo and Juste's Visit

Fiday, which is what we call Friday in Lithuania, I half jokingly said to Gedas, "Klaipeda part of your plans for the weekend?" And he was like, "that may in deed be a perfectly cromulent suggestion, dude!" And so I was all, "oh wow, that's cool, man, yeah man, hardy har har, this land is my land !" So he and Juste hitchhiked here, which was impressive, because they had a late start. Last time I tried to hitchhike to Klaipeda from Vilnius with such a late start I had to sleep in a dumpster with Rastenis...that idiot! :)

Anywho, they showed up and I shoved a mushroom-pepperoni pizza into the oven, and after we greedily gobbled it down and looked at my more interesting photos and videos I've taken so far over some vodka martinis we jetted to Troba (The Shack) for beers. Photos to come, whenever I figure out how to load them here.

They kicked us outta there at two, and we walked back. I knocked on the door for the company monkey to let us in, and I turned around and saw that Juste was still holding a beer in a glass we'd won by ordering enough beer. "She can't see you bringing that inside! DRINK IT!"

So Juste takes a tiny little sip, and I can already see the woman coming. "Gimme that I'll help you!" I chugged like half a beer in two seconds, but a significant amount spilled itself down my cheeks, and I was still wiping it off my face as the door was opened for us.

The next morning we had to get up at 7 to make the 9:10 bus to Village. That didn't happen, even though my special lady, upon my request, called to wake me up. "Yeah, okay, we're going," I said at 7:30. We were going to visit her and her family, whom I'd never met yet.

She called again at 9:30, "Are you on the bus already, I thought you'd sms me to say so by now."

"Um, well you see, um, what happened was, um uh ah ammmmmmmmmm.."

"ARE YOU STILL IN BED? WTF???"

"Yeah but it's not my fault! You don't understand, we um, there was, ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

So we tried to make it to the 10:55, which still wasn't easy, cause I'd forgotten to finish making the truffles, so I balled them up in the morning. We got in a taxi. "To the bus station. And that be great if you could get us there in 8 minutes." He says, "no problem." As soon as we pull out we're in a traffic jam. Gedas asks him why he listens to Russian music, and they start debating history, and I keep thinking, "God, how the fuck can they casually chat about the Lublin Agreement when we're about to miss this fucking bus?!" We pulled in and Gedas jokinly said "it's probably the bus that's pulling out," but the cabby thought he was serious so he jets around to where it's pulling out and blocks it! And it was ours! NICE!!

We played Yatzi on the bus, and I won!

Then there was a funny moment. We got off the bus seperately, and I met my special lady. She wanted to hurry up, but I was like, "Wait, I have to ask you something. Remember when you told me about how you get all nervous before meeting people, but it's actually irrational, and that as soon as you actually meet them it disappears? And then I said I better not tell you you're ever going to meet my family or friends, just make it a surprise every time to avoid the anxiety? And you thought that was probably a good idea? Well, let's go over and meet those two chaps over there, then." She said if I do that I again I'll end up with a gray haired special lady by the time she's 25.

We had fun there, especially Gedas and Juste playing with the special baby, and we walked around and had a snowball fight. On the was out her mother was absolutely insistant that we take something to drink on the bus, she just wouldn't take no for an answer. So then we had this conversation:

"So, should we crack open that bottle?"
"I don't know, I don't wanna get drunk."
"Yeah, me neither.
...pause...
"But her mother said we're young men, that we should have some fun."
"Yeah, and that because we're young men, this little bit won't even get us drunk."
...pause...
"That's right, she did say that. And she's a mother. Mother knows best, right?"
"Oh yeah. But hey, she's not even just a mother, she's a grandmother! She's gotta be a genious!"
"Oh, we difinately gotta drink it then!"
"Yeah, open that thing up on the double!"

Then we went to Onyx. They closed early cause nobody was there. These idiots boarded up the main door and didn't post a sign for the side door, so only regulars realized they were open. Then to Memelis, with three highlights:
  1. G&J got to hear Saido infamous cursing, e.g. "Pyzdinsim kurva blet i pirma auksta na huj!" which is the needlessly dirtiest way imaginable to say "let's go to the first floor."
  2. A girl so drunk she went up on stage to participate in a dance contest including banging of clogs and wearing of a big hat. The music came on, and she drops the clogs on the floor and just looks at them, then she takes off the hat and throws that on the floor too and just looks at it. Everybody laughing his ass off.
  3. The last contest we watched, girls doing something like flip cup, but instead of cups they were coasters, and instead of landing right they had to be caught in midair. We're all in the front row, and we keep shouting our own count to the MC, cause many of the calls were controversial, and then we just started shouting "give us free beer! we want free beer!!"

Stopped at the boat, cover charge forget that, so back to my place, for a lengthy heated debate about me requiring American English of my students, which was utterly pointless, it just made everybody feel bad. But then we moved onto other, more fun things and topics. Juste hit the sack, and Gedas and I were about to leave her be, but on the way out I burst out laughing, fell to the floor, dropped everything I was holding, and rolled around on the ground laughing hysterically, uncontrolably for what felt like 20 minutes, but was actually probably just one. That's never happened to me before, it was awesome, I couldn't believe what was happening.

7 comments:

Liepa said...

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!!!

the laughing uncontrollably thing happens to me too, in the mornings when i'm hungover and have not slept at all, and am walking around with lokys wearing a goofy hat, or talking with him about how much i want to die, or he's writing nonsense on my notebook in class, or that, i run out and upon return, let's just say, i'm no longer wearing my sock...

mrdarius said...

you should use picassa to get your damn photos posted on your blog already!

also, i wish you, gedas, and juste could hitchhike to NYC.

owner said...

That dude sounds awesome. He should be on www.cabbieswhorule.com.

blocking buses=Sweet!

Trashcan said...

Yeah laughing uncontrolably is the way to be. The best is when you are laughing so long and so hard that practically stop breathing while your body is contorting on the floor, and then people start talking about how they think you're dying cause you can't breathe, and that just makes you laugh even more and then you finally manage to stop just before passing out from a a lack of oxygen.

Aras said...

sarunai, that's not a real web address :(

Aras said...

yeah, i was keen to point out that the martinis were nonauthentic because they were lacking in olives...i learned that from How To Be a Man, which my special lady still hasn't returned, I guess she's really trying to memorize all the ploys so she'll know when my guestures are authentic and when they're inauthentic ;)

speaking of unreturned books, gedai, ar prasau prasau man grazintum the dilbert principle???

mrdarius said...

yeah, speaking of unreturned books, arai -- you done with any of those books i brought over for Thanksgiving? any means by which you could return them?

also, gedai ir juste, as manau, kad butu imanoma nutranzuoti iki JAV, tik truputi saltoka. Bet jus esate Lietuviai, turetumete buti priprate prie to. Ir dar, kai pasieksit Niujorka, turesit kur nakvoti...jei noresite nakvoti.

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